I have no idea what to do :(

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I have no idea what to do :(

Postby Lorirach » Thu Nov 06, 2014 4:24 pm

I am supposed to be going back to work next week. I had a meeting with my manager and HR and basically they said they could not change my shifts as it would not be fair to other staff members - even though my manager had said she would do this when she was talking to me on the phone :evil: . Because I was expecting support (how silly am I?! :crazy: ) I didn't go to the meeting ready to fight, so I just sat there and agreed with everything! Pathetic!! :oops:

I spoke to a new occupational health doctor who didn't have a clue who I was, asked me if I wanted to return to work - which I replied yes - and before I could get another word in said "ok, I will let your manager know". He has written to my manager saying I do not need a phased return and I can do my shifts with no special requirements! I have been off for nearly 4 months and am feeling sick with worry about going back. My manager has said if I have another day off sick in the next 3 months I will have a formal hearing with HR again and they will be going down the disciplinary route :yikes:

My GP doesn't think I can do my work and has told me to get another job but I cannot just 'get another job' I have only ever worked as a nurse. Also I have a family so it is even harder to get work to fit in with small children. So scared about the future right now. Had been told I was entitled to housing benefit but actually got the letter through and I get a whopping £3 off my rent! :shock:

Feeling so ill again, which is devastating as I had been feeling much better. Really thought I could go back to work but now I am not sure but scared to resign as we need my wages. My husband is in full time employment but it is a very low paid job so we cannot manage on his wages alone.

Just needed to let off steam, :scream-1: so scared about what the future holds. Wonder whether I should go to my GP and get more time off sick despite what my manager says.....urgh, living with fibromyalgia truly sucks! :pull-hair:
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Re: I have no idea what to do :(

Postby Pootle24 » Thu Nov 06, 2014 4:44 pm

I am so sorry to hear about your situation, I would seriously seek some advice through citizens advice because I don't think that they can do this to you, especially if your doctor is supporting you, I hope this helps and you get it sorted x
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Re: I have no idea what to do :(

Postby zappa20 » Thu Nov 06, 2014 8:00 pm

It's poor advice from your midwife to just tell you to exercise a bit more. As stress, frustration with doctors, lack of sleep and pain all combine in Fibro to make the symptoms considerably worse. Which you don't need along with being pregnant. Staying mobile and active is also important, sp try to pace out your activities, and if you can, be mindful of whether you're subconsciously tensing your muscles as this increases pain levels too. Relaxation in a warm bath or hot water bottles can sometimes help too.

I'd go back to your GP and ask him, to refer you urgently to the Pain clinic as you need help with this now.
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Re: I have no idea what to do :(

Postby zappa20 » Thu Nov 06, 2014 8:02 pm

Oops sorry Ignore my last post, I've responded to the wrong thread .
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Re: I have no idea what to do :(

Postby Helhit » Thu Nov 06, 2014 10:28 pm

You really need to have a union rep with you. I would contact one asap.
Fibro is like the wind. You can't see it and when it flares up it knocks you off your feet!
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Re: I have no idea what to do :(

Postby Tigs » Thu Nov 06, 2014 11:08 pm

Lorirach wrote:I am supposed to be going back to work next week. I had a meeting with my manager and HR and basically they said they could not change my shifts as it would not be fair to other staff members - even though my manager had said she would do this when she was talking to me on the phone :evil: . Because I was expecting support (how silly am I?! :crazy: ) I didn't go to the meeting ready to fight, so I just sat there and agreed with everything! Pathetic!! :oops:

I spoke to a new occupational health doctor who didn't have a clue who I was, asked me if I wanted to return to work - which I replied yes - and before I could get another word in said "ok, I will let your manager know". He has written to my manager saying I do not need a phased return and I can do my shifts with no special requirements! I have been off for nearly 4 months and am feeling sick with worry about going back. My manager has said if I have another day off sick in the next 3 months I will have a formal hearing with HR again and they will be going down the disciplinary route :yikes:

My GP doesn't think I can do my work and has told me to get another job but I cannot just 'get another job' I have only ever worked as a nurse. Also I have a family so it is even harder to get work to fit in with small children. So scared about the future right now. Had been told I was entitled to housing benefit but actually got the letter through and I get a whopping £3 off my rent! :shock:

Feeling so ill again, which is devastating as I had been feeling much better. Really thought I could go back to work but now I am not sure but scared to resign as we need my wages. My husband is in full time employment but it is a very low paid job so we cannot manage on his wages alone.

Just needed to let off steam, :scream-1: so scared about what the future holds. Wonder whether I should go to my GP and get more time off sick despite what my manager says.....urgh, living with fibromyalgia truly sucks! :pull-hair:


Hi

I had my 1st meeting with HR yesterday (I work for the NHS). Luckily for me both HR and my Team Lead were very understanding. I have been off almost 3 months but they have said if I want to go back to work that I have to have a meeting with occupational Health team and they will also have to liaise with my doc, but ultimately they can not go against what my doctor says. I am the only wage earner in our house as my husband had an accident 3yrs ago leaving him disabled, I also have 2 children so really do understand the pressure you are under. Please don't feel alone :-)
Before the meeting I felt I need to give work a go and see how I do, but to be honest on the way home from the meeting I had to pull over 10 miles away from my home and sleep in the cat for approx. 30 mins before I could continue my journey and today (apart from dropping the children to school/ picking them up and having dinner doing homework and all the things entailed inbeing a parent and carer) I have been in bed asleep. This is the 1st time I have been off this long, but just how ready am I to go back? With Fibro, who knows eh!
I hope you have a good doctor who is on your side. HR are there to take care ofyou and not do the things they are doing. I hope it all works out.

:goodluck2:
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Re: I have no idea what to do :(

Postby Lindenp » Fri Nov 07, 2014 12:39 am

So sorry to hear about your problems. I would definitely seek advice from you union rep and citizens advice. If you don't feel that you can return in the way they are saying then by all means get the dr to sign you off again. Make sure that you take someone with you when you meet with them again and insists that you need to have a phased return to work. Don't let them push you around. Surely the NHS should have a better attitude to illness than anyone else!? Can you not get a transfer to another hospital/surgery or whatever? I hope you get it sorted out soon.

Gentle Hugs :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

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Re: I have no idea what to do :(

Postby nicolagraham » Fri Nov 07, 2014 12:53 pm

hi hun, i too work for the NHS and yr story is very similar to mine, they just dont understand, so much for a caring organisation.
i have chronic depression and anxiety, arthritis in my spine and Fibro, i fluctuate day to day and sometimes struggle even get out of bed. i understand about how pressured you feel regards being the breadwinner, i have 3 teenagers 2 of which will want to go to uni sept 2015 and 2016 so there is a pressure to stay working. I am keen to hand in my notice and become a carer in a residential home,so to keep involved in the elderly which i love. I handed in my application form this morning. I am scared coz the NHS is all i've known for the whole of my working life but i must move on. the trust i work for is so very strict and has caused me alot of anxt. i have had the union involved but the trusts policies are so water tight that they struggle to convince the trust that they need to be flexible sometimes.
take care hun x
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Re: I have no idea what to do :(

Postby Zia2014 » Fri Nov 07, 2014 1:19 pm

Hi,

I'm guessing you didn't see my post in the other thread, so I've re-posted it below:

Lorirach wrote:Hi,

I am in the same position too! I am a nurse and I just had my meeting with HR and my manager. I wish I had taken a rep with me. On the phone my manager had sounded really accommodating and would swap my permanent nights for night and day shifts but in the meeting she was telling me categorically no way could she swap my shifts around as it was not fair to other members of staff. I really felt my manager and HR were against me although to be fair, like has previously been written, they do have to stick to their policy - I just wish I had had someone who knew the policy inside out and was on my side!

She pointed out I was already part-time and that I couldn't have a phased return to work - I have been off work for nearly 4 months now :( I start back next week and am dreading it. Nothing like working for the NHS eh?!! But seriously, my advice is definitely take a rep with you!

Hope you get things sorted soon. Stress, as we all know, only makes us worse xxx

:hugs: Gentle hugs :)


Hi Lorirach,

Hmm. If I may comment on your situation:

"she was telling me categorically no way could she swap my shifts around as it was not fair to other members of staff"

That's simply not true. They have a duty of care to you and as long as it can be accommodated within the department, they can do it. Doesn't matter about whether it's fair or not, you having fibro isn't fair! If she'd said it couldn't be arranged because of shifts etc then I'd understand that may be the case, but what she's said simply isn't the case.

"I couldn't have a phased return to work" - did she say why not? Do you have any annual leave left? I bet any money it recommends one after that sort of length of absence within your sickness absence policy. I'd strongly argue you should have one after 4 months off, and again that's their duty of care to you.

Do you have a union rep? If so please get on to them asap and let them know the bits I quoted from your post. It sounds all kinds of wrong to me.

ETA: Now obviously you've already had a meeting, but it would be worth going back to your GP and asking them to write a fit note stating they consider you must have a phased return and giving some details about how this should go. Your manager will be unlikely to argue with that, especially as they haven't even made you an OH appointment (which I bet is a must in your policy for someone who's been off so long).

Also, get in touch with the union. Even if you're not a member, if not they can start you as a member and give you advice, you don't need to have been in the union for long, but it will be worth its weight in gold, trust me.
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Re: I have no idea what to do :(

Postby Lorirach » Fri Nov 07, 2014 5:48 pm

Thank you! Thankfully I am in a union and the local rep has sent me a load of forms to fill out (oh joy! ;) ) and he will come with me in any future meetings with my manager. He is also seeking legal advice re my work situation so that's great - leaving the stress of it to him!!

I took a short drive today and ended up in so much pain that I think I might have to face facts and accept I cannot work at the moment. That's the main problem for me with fibro - it's not consistent so on good days I feel a fraud and on bad days I feel unable to work at all!

Thank you all for your advice - am definitely looking it all and thanks for being a sounding board! :D
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Re: I have no idea what to do :(

Postby Fairytaz » Fri Nov 07, 2014 6:54 pm

I can relate and am glad you are on the path to getting it sorted :hugs:
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Re: I have no idea what to do :(

Postby Zia2014 » Sun Nov 09, 2014 5:03 pm

Glad you have a union rep on board who will come with you. Good luck!
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Re: I have no idea what to do :(

Postby gizsam » Wed Nov 12, 2014 11:18 am

Hi....

I am a nurse too, i have been there and done it and got the stress to prove it..lol

After 5 years of struggling being pulled in for this meeting and that meeting, being bullied, being told that the DDA act didnt apply to the NHS, support of my fab GP writing letters to say i needed to work shorter shifts, but got told that this didnt fit it with the department, i have had enough, i am coming to the end of my half pay soon, got another meeting coming up and i have decided to throw the towel in and quit! 22 years of a career i loved has been taken away by fibro...i am heart broken but after i thought long and hard i cant cope with the stress of trying to make it work anymore...

You can ask for redeployment in another department if thats an option.

I never attend any meeting without a rep, and my rep has been brilliant.

There are so many stories of nurses struggling to work , the NHS may care for people but it doesnt care for its staff!!

Take Care

Cat
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Re: I have no idea what to do :(

Postby Zia2014 » Wed Nov 12, 2014 12:41 pm

Hi Cat,

Well for a start the DDA applies to the NHS! What a ridiculous thing to say (them not you)!

Before you quit - can you get ill health retirement? Have you been paying into your pension? If so, ask HR to get you a quote. You might as well see if you can get some money, and IHR amount tends to be quite good depending on length of service etc.

And yes, the NHS is well behind most organisations in this respect, although it does depend a bit on your manager sometimes too.
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Re: I have no idea what to do :(

Postby gizsam » Wed Nov 12, 2014 12:54 pm

Thanks...the quote about the DDA came from the occ health nurse!!! She told me that it only applied to office/factory workers!! My union got in before me and said she really needed to read the DDA and handed her a copy..priceless!!! Shut her up, my trust doesnt believe that adapting shift pattern is reasonable as it would affect the other members of staff to much!

I am going for ill health retirement, just in the process of finding out, i am hoping if poss to aim for tier 2, i was worried about being on half pay, but i have been very lucky in flying though ESA application and was granted support group just as i was coming out of the 12 week assessment phrase, yes things will be hard, i am selling my house so i will no longer have a mortgage, i havent had children, so me and the doggies will be a permanent fixture in my partners house, he is brilliant and my rock.

Cat x
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