I shouldn't be so unhappy.

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I shouldn't be so unhappy.

Postby JDWench » Wed Nov 12, 2014 1:25 pm

Tomorrow I turn 26, I should be excited but this week is a disaster!
Thanks to public transport I missed a lecture Monday, yesterday I had to give a 20 minute presentation with two of my classmates one of which has vexed me the last few weeks to the point where I don't know how I didn't give her a tongue lashing or resort to physical violence, we passed (official grade yet to be published) but I was so stress about the whole thing that afterwards I was exhausted and aching so I came home missing a seminar. This morning I overslept and missed a two hour lecture then received a call offering me a job (finally, good news) from a place which had already rejected me but felt I'd be better in their retail department, unfortunately I couldn't realistically fit it in with my education and commuting so they said "sorry you sound lovely but it won't work". I'm so disappointed, I'm skint, jobless, falling behind in uni, my flat is filthy, PIP are taking forever to make a decision, my boyfriend and I get no financial help, my legs are agony and I'm exhausted. I want to cry and pull the duvet over my head and give up. But what right do I have to be unhappy? I have a boyfriend who is supporting me, I'm lucky enough to have been accepted to university even though I'm nothing special and (for now) I have a roof over my head.
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Re: I shouldn't be so unhappy.

Postby Cjalex » Wed Nov 12, 2014 1:57 pm

We all have bad days or weeks and life isn't always smooth you have I right to be unhappy some times but then you need to brush your self off and prove the world wrong and complete your course keep looking for a job i(if you really need one ) It's only u and ur boyfriend who sleeps and lives on ur house so i wouldn't stress too much about that xx Take care of ur self x i am going through the it's all my fault stage as hubby can't work he looks after kids I can't work at moment because of fibro sleeps nd were on benefits but we are really struggling every time we can't afford something I feel guilty xx hope you feel better soon xx
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Re: I shouldn't be so unhappy.

Postby Hepbell » Wed Nov 12, 2014 2:12 pm

Know just how you feel, just back from Drs who told me that I have significant damage to my right shoulder and elbow. Back to the consultant who had never heard of hypermobility syndrome in adults,. Anyway had myself a bit greet,got home with increased dosages in meds(ugh). Now I have to try and not do so much.i struggle on.
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Re: I shouldn't be so unhappy.

Postby Queenie_70 » Wed Nov 12, 2014 2:24 pm

Hey JD,

Most days my house looks like a tornado has hit it, but if I am out of bed and down to my normal level of pain, it is a good day. Like Cj said, think of positives, we are all in the same boat with bad days, weeks, months etc. Vent if you need to, that is what we are here for. We can all empathize because no-one has said anything that one of us hasn't experienced ourselves. Financially, I do understand. I went from earning £5000 a month to the £72.40 that the government thought I ought to get, all because I got sick Trust me, that was a big wake up call. Jewelry was sold to make ends meet, and my daughters DLA paid for food. The Samaritans gave us bread to go with the soup I bought, and I cried every night. It will pass, I never thought it would, but a deposit into my account one day and a call to the DWP showed that I was on Support rather than Assessment ESA. Hang in there sweetie...

xx
"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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Re: I shouldn't be so unhappy.

Postby Cjalex » Wed Nov 12, 2014 2:37 pm

Hi queenie I'm having trouble with my esa they won't puy me on the care component so we have a benefit cap I need them to put me on care then the cap won't count they took 60 a week off us we really struggling with 6 of us and 1 under 1 :, ( xx
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Re: I shouldn't be so unhappy.

Postby dazzleship » Wed Nov 12, 2014 4:59 pm

of course you have the right to be unhappy at times. :hugs: everyone does.

yes, you have some things to be glad about and that's really good. but equally there is a lot of disappointments it sounds like at the moment and they will get you down, that's normal.

but what to try and remember is that nothing stays the same. things will change, and for the better. I've been through some really difficult times in my life, I won't go into details but times when financially or emotionally things looked very bleak. but you know what? those situations didn't last forever, things improved.

and when you get back to the good times and you look back, you'll see just as I did that everything that happened, good or bad, led up to the present moment. you just couldn't see it at the time.

perhaps this place who offered you a job will remember you when you are ready to take up a position, who knows. you should keep a note of who they are, just in case.

happy birthday for tomorrow though. :cake: :-) I shall try not to be envious that you are only 26 :mrgreen:
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Re: I shouldn't be so unhappy.

Postby natmac73 » Wed Nov 12, 2014 5:39 pm

Awww bless you! I understand what your going through,I was diagnosed with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis this April and have now got fibromyalgia as well as arthritis, this December it will be a year I've been off work! Waiting for PIP decision. ..I have two children 14 & 9 yrs. ..I feel extreme guilt I can hardly do anything, I've gone from being so active on the go constant, to this blob! that hardly moves,my confidence is rock bottom ,i use a walking stick which makes me feel so self conscious! I hate myself for being like this..why me! I'm lucky I have a fab husband who helps around the house and that my children are old enough to understand. .It is hard and I do get very low! But try to remember that there is always someone worse off...(which i know is hard when you feel so much pain)remember that you have the support of your boyfriend! I hope you can enjoy your birthday. .best wishes Natalie x
Last edited by natmac73 on Wed Nov 12, 2014 5:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: I shouldn't be so unhappy.

Postby Zia2014 » Wed Nov 12, 2014 5:50 pm

Well firstly and most importantly, happy birthday for tomorrow!!!

As Dazzle said, you have every right to be unhappy. It is incredibly hard to just 'get over it' and be positive, and I am a firm believer that sometimes a little crying or wallowing can do the world of good.

As the others have said, there are some definite positives in that lot (you are at uni, were offered a job, have a partner), but it's not always possible to see all of those when we're having a particularly bad day.

In terms of uni, are you being supported? There should be a department, but I'm out of the loop as I haven't been at uni for *cough* years.
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Re: I shouldn't be so unhappy.

Postby JDWench » Wed Nov 12, 2014 6:07 pm

The support network at university are brilliant and I'm already registered as a disabled student I just haven't asked for help but I'm arranging a meeting for next week. I also use a stick sometimes and it makes me very self conscious but turn it into a positive people are much nicer on public transport if you've got a stick lol.
Thank you everyone I'm feeling a little less miserable and am just going to chill now.
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Re: I shouldn't be so unhappy.

Postby Jazzijac » Wed Nov 12, 2014 9:27 pm

Hi
With regards to a job do you think you could work sat and sun only
There are lots of jobs promoting products I see lots of students doing this its not difficult
All you need is a friendly personality be able to chat to people and understand the product

You don't do it yo a crowd of people it generally to a couple or single or small family
I work for Retail Marketing Group promoting laptops and tablets in pc world it's £70 a day plus travel expenses

There are other companies Blue Square. Infinite
Just type in retail promotion companies or go to Fueld star
They are on some job sites too

It's not always LBH term but certainly now is a busy time coming
Up to Xmas

I suffer a lot but having extra money coming in held the less stress
The easier Fibro seems to be
Hope it helps
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Re: I shouldn't be so unhappy.

Postby vivien54 » Thu Nov 13, 2014 9:44 pm

Sometimes thinking you shouldn't be unhappy and that you have a lot to be grateful for actually makes you feel worse, because then you feel guilty too. Allow yourself to feel sad and disappointed, even while acknowledging the good things and as someone else said, things will get better. I often find that what seems a bad things at the time turns out to have been a good thing further down the line. Maybe that job wasn't meant for you because there will be something better coming. Keep hoping for a better day tomorrow. XX
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