Abuse for not looking stereotypically "disabled" - blue badg

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Re: Abuse for not looking stereotypically "disabled" - blue

Postby Purpledot » Fri Dec 26, 2014 10:23 pm

It makes me feel really bad that so many of us have to go through this kid of experience. Do these people know how difficult it is to even be awarded a blue badge?

I've had a badge for almost year and have only had this happen once.

An elderly lady came over and tapped on the window before we had even undone our seatbelt and asked us if we realised we had parked in a disabled bay. Hubby replied "Yes we do....we have a badge!" She was really embarrassed and apologetic when we pointed out the badge I had just put on the dashboard!

I felt really uncomfortable and wanted to just drive away, but hubby said that I am entitled to the badge and should therefore not feel bad about using it. The lady then proceeded to stand by her car and watch me get out of our car, get my crutches off the back seat and walk away. I felt really self-conscious knowing she was watching me.
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Re: Abuse for not looking stereotypically "disabled" - blue

Postby whoami » Sat Dec 27, 2014 11:03 pm

It is sad that others judge. I will admit I was guilty of this before I became ill. Fibro is one of those hidden illnesses at times.

Here it is illegal for even a police officer to ask why you have a parking permit. As long as you have it and it is valid, nobody can ask why.

I have learned to just ignore and continue in my way if I get either a look or a question.
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Re: Abuse for not looking stereotypically "disabled" - blue

Postby TNK* » Sun Dec 28, 2014 9:04 pm

Thing is the driver doesnt have to be disabled, you could be picking up an elderly granny or a family friend with a disability, both with the blue badge, the spaces are there to make life easier for people, and not walking all the way across a car park to get into your lift is one of the ways!
I have a badge of my own, but in the days before, I have taken a relative shopping (they had a blue badge) escorted my relative into a wheelchair in the supermarket, and they passed me their badge to put into my car, when i did that and walked away i got harassed by some jobsworth car park attendant who insisted on checking out the photo on the badge, to which i replied, "it will do you no good as the badge isnt mine" he then tried to get me to move out of the space and he got quite angry when I refused, however when he tried to follow me into the shop, he soon shut up when he saw me go over to my relative and start pushing them away further into the store!

My relative made may day as I wheeled her off she gave a rather marvelous V sign

Nowadays as I have my own badge, I usually find "get to F*** you judgemental Bstard" suffices very well x
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Re: Abuse for not looking stereotypically "disabled" - blue

Postby dizzynan » Wed Dec 31, 2014 7:58 am

Hi cocobella and everyone, I have my PIP appointment next week and am very worried. I never go without makeup, it's like washing my face in the morning , It is part of my daily routine but it is a mask, my kids used to laugh many years ago when they were young, as I would put my makeup on to go to the allotment. But this makes for everyone thinking you are alright and look well when really you are in so much pain and can most days barely walk. So should I be myself with makeup , or go without, and have my sallow yellow complexion with dark eyes cos I am constantly tired out. My husband says I should be myself with makeup and I do feel the same, but I don't want to be judged on the fact I do wear makeup. Omg now I am actually writing about it, it feels really stupid and this being my first post :oops:

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Re: Abuse for not looking stereotypically "disabled" - blue

Postby Zia2014 » Wed Dec 31, 2014 5:07 pm

I wouldn't wear it! I would show them how bad I can look (and tbh I'm sure I look worse than you!) but I think sometimes we have to 'prove' how bad we are, and we all want to hide it and show people our best. But be honest and let them see how bad it affects you.

I don't think I'll get a BB now. My GP seemed amused I was applying and I don't think he'll support it. I've got a phone assessment on Friday which will be interesting...
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Re: Abuse for not looking stereotypically "disabled" - blue

Postby dizzynan » Fri Jan 02, 2015 8:37 am

Thanks Zia, I think you are right. It's so weird though that the Doctor has supported me for years knowing how severe things are, what I can and can't do, what my bad times do to me and then a complete stranger has about an hour to assess you from scratch, lol. Well we shall see! :-?
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Re: Abuse for not looking stereotypically "disabled" - blue

Postby MissGems73 » Wed Jan 14, 2015 4:24 am

i get nasty looks and rude comments all the time but mostly from elderly people, i now just smile at them while i'm getting my crutches out of the back seat and the looks on their faces are enough for me to be able to laugh it off now.
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Re: Abuse for not looking stereotypically "disabled" - blue

Postby cdcrossy » Wed Jan 14, 2015 10:46 pm

i know exactly what you mean I'm a 35yr male got my badge at 34 and people look at me like dog muck. a few times people have said something and i have just said mind your own business. a few parking attendants have tried it on too asking to see badge etc i just say what u want a date too. the best was a old man who stood in front of my car and said its people like you that stop disabled people from parking do you know what it does to them. to which i looked at him and said i am disabled and this is my badge and go phone who ever you want as I'm entitled to park here just like anyone else. when i came back to my car a attendant came with the man to which i showed the badge and then demanded a apology i hope he felt like a tit. but i do get very angry and i do wonder shall i park in the disabled, then i think no I'm allowed so i am.
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Re: Abuse for not looking stereotypically "disabled" - blue

Postby cdcrossy » Thu Jan 15, 2015 11:00 pm

i agree people do need to not park in a disabled bay if they don't have a blue badge and ur right usually its a tit who just wants to park closer to the shops etc . I'm the kind of person who wouldn't park in the disabled bay if I'm having a good day to so someone else who was bad could park but some people don't care.
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Re: Abuse for not looking stereotypically "disabled" - blue

Postby dazzleship » Fri Jan 16, 2015 9:11 am

I completely and utterly agree that people should not abuse the blue badge spaces (or their occupants :-) )

But. *puts on her controversy hat*

As someone who uses two crutches to get about anywhere outside of the house, and occasionally a wheelchair, I have to admit to feeling a tad annoyed when I get to the supermarket or wherever, and have to park far enough away from the building just so I know that there will be room to get back in the car when I get back. And as I hobble past those lovely blue badge spaces I can't help but feel slightly envious at times, cos I could really do with them.

I know, I hear you all saying "just apply for the blue badge already" but you see I'm in Scotland. Where the criteria for one of these precious things is "unable or virtually unable to walk" which to my mind, does not describe me, who can walk but very slowly and in a lot of pain. Sometimes I need the wider space just so I can get the car doors open far enough to get my crutches in and out, not to mention the wheelchair. But as far as I understand it, the Scottish system does not allow for that. And I'm too afraid of the rejection to apply for it cos I know in my heart I'll be turned down.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, there are some people who do need the disabled parking spaces but who don't qualify for a blue badge. What do we do about them?

I'm not trying to cause controversy here, I'm just pointing out that it's not always as clear cut as "if you don't have a badge you shouldn't park in the space".

:-)
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Re: Abuse for not looking stereotypically "disabled" - blue

Postby galio » Fri Jan 16, 2015 10:29 pm

dazzleship wrote:I completely and utterly agree that people should not abuse the blue badge spaces (or their occupants :-) )

But. *puts on her controversy hat*

As someone who uses two crutches to get about anywhere outside of the house, and occasionally a wheelchair, I have to admit to feeling a tad annoyed when I get to the supermarket or wherever, and have to park far enough away from the building just so I know that there will be room to get back in the car when I get back. And as I hobble past those lovely blue badge spaces I can't help but feel slightly envious at times, cos I could really do with them.

I know, I hear you all saying "just apply for the blue badge already" but you see I'm in Scotland. Where the criteria for one of these precious things is "unable or virtually unable to walk" which to my mind, does not describe me, who can walk but very slowly and in a lot of pain. Sometimes I need the wider space just so I can get the car doors open far enough to get my crutches in and out, not to mention the wheelchair. But as far as I understand it, the Scottish system does not allow for that. And I'm too afraid of the rejection to apply for it cos I know in my heart I'll be turned down.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, there are some people who do need the disabled parking spaces but who don't qualify for a blue badge. What do we do about them?

I'm not trying to cause controversy here, I'm just pointing out that it's not always as clear cut as "if you don't have a badge you shouldn't park in the space".

:-)



dazzle do apply you may be surprised my son had a blue badge, on bad days he uses 2 crutches on good days he uses a stick he has hypermobility syndrome and has not been dx with fibro but im sure he has it too like me, he got his blue badge before he got his higher rate motobility which would automatically give him his badge i know its hard if you get knocked back but worth trying. we get looked at when we park in the disabled bays and of course i get out stiff and look a bit stiff but then he gets out with his stick and its like oh its him hows he disabled hes too young!
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Re: Abuse for not looking stereotypically "disabled" - blue

Postby Zia2014 » Mon Jan 19, 2015 5:28 pm

I know where you're coming from dazz, we've talked about this before and I have no idea what things are like in Scotland. I must admit there are times I don't use it, I got it last week, went to the hospital and parked in the normal space because it wasn't that much further on! There was a long row of free disabled spaces but in my head I couldn't justify it.

However, on Sat I parked in a disabled space in the supermarket car park as it gives me more space to get in and out, I felt guilty and left my badge up til I left as people kept walking past and commenting (in particular old people!). While there a guy pulled up fast in his sporty car and leapt out. He did not put up a badge and wasn't disabled - he took the last space :roll: I didn't say anything because he was erm quite big and mean looking.
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Re: Abuse for not looking stereotypically "disabled" - blue

Postby kay_87 » Mon Jan 19, 2015 10:07 pm

My boyfriend and I have this issue all the time. People just see a young couple parking in a disabled bay. It isn't until we get my crutches that it stops and even then we still get an evil look :( people just don't understand. I've had parking attendants questioning the authenticity of my blue badge as well, i wouldn't get this treatment if i was an older disabled person.
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Re: Abuse for not looking stereotypically "disabled" - blue

Postby dazzleship » Mon Jan 19, 2015 10:56 pm

thanks Zia. I know I should just "go big or go home" and apply for the darned thing, but.. maybe one day :oops: :roll:

one thing I'm seeing a pattern here is that a lot of the time it is old people who are being the ignorant ones - why is that I wonder. why are they more ignorant, on the whole, than younger people? I dunno. people just should not judge.
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Re: Abuse for not looking stereotypically "disabled" - blue

Postby Zia2014 » Sat Jan 24, 2015 4:27 pm

Hey I know we are meant to avoid stress and the blue badge is yet another stresser so I completely understand!

Btw I have looked at the leaflet for applications in Scotland and although it does say you must be unable or virtually unable to walk, it also says:

"If you are applying for a badge under the above criteria you will need to show that you are unable to walk or virtually unable to walk very far without experiencing excessive pain and breathlessness, or a deterioration of health brought on by the effort needed to
walk."

Now I don't know much about the other issue you have (hypermobility?) but for me Fibro certainly leaves me in pain and a deterioration in health when I try and walk to far - so I think you have very good grounds for applying and shouldn't discount it just yet. I'm happy to help you fill out your application if you like?

My theory on older people being the most judgemental comes from what I read in my guidance leaflet, that being old itself does not qualify you for a blue badge. I think they're jealous!! :mrgreen:
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