So angry

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

So angry

Postby keaedmondson » Mon Jan 12, 2015 7:13 pm

Like most of you, I'm sure, since I was diagnosed with FM my emotions have gone totally loop the loop!
The last couple of days I found myself getting so angry about the smallest things!
I know I'm justified about being angry about them, but I just can't let the anger go!
I think FM removes the off switch for emotions… Or the volume switch or something it's like it turns up upset or angry to the max and you can't turn it down again…
keaedmondson
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 114
Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2013 12:05 am

Re: So angry

Postby menmeryiset » Mon Jan 12, 2015 7:41 pm

I am the same. One minute I can be sad and crying and the next I am in full rage mode. It's hard to predict and hard to handle at times.
menmeryiset
UKFM Newbie
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Dec 06, 2014 8:52 pm

Re: So angry

Postby carolad » Mon Jan 12, 2015 9:59 pm

I was reading an article recently about anger and pain....

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/729916

So although it is difficult to get control of your emotions sometimes, it is worth working on this. Because when you get angry, you just hurt yourself more than anyone else. I try not to get angry, I'm trying just to accept things and let them go rather than rage against someone or something that has annoyed me. It doesn't always work....but I am trying! ;-)
carolad
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 415
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2014 12:04 am

Re: So angry

Postby Gracious » Mon Jan 12, 2015 11:11 pm

keaedmondson, I think anger is one of the most difficult emotions to let go of. I still get caught out with it regularly, but over the years of doing mindfulness and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) I've learned a few things that sometimes help.

One is metaphor based, (I like visualisations):

Image your standing at the edge of a cliff verge, on the opposite cliff you see a giant monster (The monster can represent any strong emotion, feeling or thought that is troubling you) and you are both holding one end of the same rope. Between you and the monster is a deep dark crevasse. You start to tug on the rope to get rid of the monster and make him fall down the crevasse. But neither of you want to fall into the crevasse and the monster pulls the rope too. You pull harder so you dont fall in, but as you pull hard so does the monster. The more you tug the more the monster tugs. So how do you win? Because tugging harder does not work, for the monster just seems to get stronger and bigger. If you want this battle to be over and stop fighting with the monster, there is only one solution. Let go of the rope!!!

Dropping the rope is the only solution. So when you feel anger, your mind remembers this feeling and starts creating links to past experiences, memories, associations etc similar to what your feeling and before you know it you are no longer just angry about the little incident that just happened suddenly its way bigger and out of proportion and you hate feeling like this and want it to go away. But the more you want it to go away the worse the feelings get (your caught up in the struggle with the giant monster).

If you can next time you feel anger, take 5 deep breaths and try and observe what your mind is doing, the thoughts its churning out and do a five senses check, how your body feels, what you see, smell, hear, where in your body is it tense, sick churning stomache, headache, sweating, etc Actually tune into the experience and observe (Looking athe monster on the other cliff). From this point you can then choose whether you want to resist the anger and start fighting with the monster and tugging the rope till your exhausted or whether you would like acknowledge and accept your thoughts, feelings and sensations of this anger, but choose not to struggle with it and stop fighting the monster, dropping the rope....in other words to let it go and get on with something else far more life enhancing and of value to you.

I find the minute I get a strong negative feeling, I instantly see myself standing at the cliff with a choice, do I pick up the rope and battle with the monster, where I will never win, or do I look over at the monster and blow it a big kiss. Afterall the monster is letting me know something is upsetting me, and I have the choice now to accept I'm upset but not get caught up in the struggle of being upset.

Gosh I really hope this makes sense and is of some help.

Best advise just be mindful and remember thoughts are just thoughts, there not you. If you get hooked on a thought, ask yourself, in having this thought, is it helpful to me, if not then let it go and thank your mind for sharing it.

With loving kindness
Gracious
Gracious
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 116
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2014 6:45 pm

Re: So angry

Postby keaedmondson » Tue Jan 13, 2015 12:11 am

Totally get what you're saying :)
keaedmondson
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 114
Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2013 12:05 am

Re: So angry

Postby morette5 » Tue Jan 13, 2015 1:19 am

This is like post traumatic syndrome. Your normal has shifted.
Don't beat yourself up about it, long term conditions or sudden traumatic conditions can have this effect.
Fibro is an assault on all you knew and all you were, this is Fibro-normal.
You will adjust better to it knowing you are doing it.
The new you is the you that has to be to cope with fibro.
Try not to let it get the better of you.
Kick fibro's ass by taking control of your anger.
(No one is telling you it will be easy).
.
morette5
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:45 am

Re: So angry

Postby morette5 » Tue Jan 13, 2015 1:22 am

Love what Gracious wrote.
morette5
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:45 am

Re: So angry

Postby Polaris » Tue Jan 13, 2015 6:57 am

The reason why people with FMS (Fibromyalgia Syndrome) get easily upset is due to 'Hypervigilance'. This means the 'Fight or Flight' response to danger is permanently switched on and there is an over production of adrenaline. This is why antidepressants are sometimes used to overcome this response.

It was due to a pseudo 'Panic Attack' without any cause or external stimulus that I discovered my own FMS (later confirmed by the experts). Knowing that your senses are receiving false information can help you deal with it and what I tend to do is try to find a distraction until the experience passes. However that doesn't stop my wife from calling me Grumpy but at least she understands that it's the FMS and not me.

NCBI (National Center for Biotechnology Information)
Abstract
The hypervigilance model of pain perception states that chronic pain patients have a heightened sensitivity to pain (e.g. low threshold and tolerance) because of increased attention to external stimulation and a preoccupation with pain sensations. This study tested the hypothesis that individuals with fibromyalgia, a chronic pain disorder of undetermined origin, have a generalized hypervigilant pattern of responding that extends beyond the pain domain. Twenty fibromyalgia out-patients, 20 rheumatoid arthritis (RA) patients, and 20 normal controls served as subjects. The RA and normal control subjects were age and sex matched to the fibromyalgia patients. Subjects were tested for pain tolerance, pain threshold, and noise tolerance and were asked to complete a number of questionnaires that assessed hypervigilance. As predicted, the responses of the fibromyalgia patients to both the pain and auditory stimuli were consistent with the generalized hypervigilance hypothesis. These patients had significantly lower threshold and tolerance values than the RA patients, who in turn, had lower values than the normal control subjects. The results of the psychological questionnaires revealed that the fibromyalgia and RA patients preferred lower levels of external stimulation than the control subjects. The outcome of this study supports the generalized hypervigilance hypothesis, suggesting that fibromyalgia patients have a perceptual style of amplification. The implications of these findings for understanding the role of biological, cognitive, and perceptual factors in pain disorders are discussed.
Polaris
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 29
Joined: Sun Jun 16, 2013 7:35 am

Re: So angry

Postby Annie54 » Tue Jan 13, 2015 8:41 am

I think this is something so many of us experience. Lots of helpful replies here. I shall certainly try and remember to "drop the rope", that's good advice. I found the post about hypervigilance very interesting. I have been diagnosed with chronic depression (I think that lots of us have this as part of the FM "package" it seems) but have recently come off the anti-depressants as I wanted to try without them. I was made redundant and it was the best thing that happened to me as I no longer have the pressures of work which I was finding more and more difficult. I am managing reasonably well without the anti-depressants so far but found that the panic attacks I have always had have got worse again. The idea that with hypervigilance our fight or flight response is always turned on is consequently very interesting.

I was speaking to a friend of mine about this and part of her advice was to "throw away" the feeling when it came, linking up with the "drop the rope" idea. And surprisingly, I have found this to work to some degree, though I was really sceptical at first. I have friends who are really into Frozen and I cannot get that song Let it Go out of my head so I thought I might as well make use of it and use the phrase in this context too!! There has to be some good use for the song!! :-D
Annie54
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 29
Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2014 5:53 pm

Re: So angry

Postby kitten » Tue Jan 13, 2015 10:42 am

I can go along with this one, one minute I can be quite relaxed and the next I can explode for the smallest reason , that probably didn't bother me the day before , certainly not the happy person that I use to be feel like I am living on a knife edge all the time :cry:
kitten
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 243
Joined: Sun May 13, 2012 4:48 pm

Re: So angry

Postby Zia2014 » Tue Jan 13, 2015 5:30 pm

I have been all over the place, but since taking Duloxetine (AD) I've felt far more balanced and calm. I still have my moments! I wasn't prescribed it for my emotions but it's definitely helped, before I felt like I was going loopy.
Zia2014
UKFM Regular
 
Posts: 1033
Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 2:55 pm

Re: So angry

Postby dazzleship » Tue Jan 13, 2015 9:07 pm

I really sympathise keaedmondson :hugs: as I too have struggled with this in the past. it's awful to feel like that :-?

not so much lately though, and I put that down to just generally trying not to let things "get to me" as much. I've been making a really concerted effort to deal with my emotions in general, not just anger but things like taking things the wrong way, not being able to "let go" of the slightest thing, etc etc.

one of my problems is crying when I am trying to get my point across. I can never be firm and put my point of view across without ending up crying.

but something I read on t'internet was to make your brain do something else and the suggestion was doing maths problems in your head or saying the alphabet in your head. I have tried this several times when watching a programme that has made me cry.. I start saying the alphabet in my head and every single time, I feel the teary-ness and the trembling lip subside.

I wonder if this might work for anger too? the theory seems to be making your brain do something else which requires it to take it's concentration away from the negative emotion.

might I also suggest having a read of this article: http://personalexcellence.co/blog/how-to-deal-with-anger/

I have read several of Celes' articles on her personal excellence blog and they are very very informative and useful. they have helped me already. I hadn't read her articles on anger but I did a quick search and found that one that I linked above, and I think it may help you.

good luck xx
dazzleship
User avatar
dazzleship
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 460
Joined: Fri Jun 20, 2014 10:40 pm
Location: scotland

Re: So angry

Postby MissGems73 » Wed Jan 14, 2015 5:14 am

im glad i came across this post, anger is the destroying my relationship with my boyfriend, he seems to be able to deal with everything like it's all normal for him as well (now and then he does try and wrap me in cotton wool still and is over attentive but not as much as he did lol). But the anger he cant deal with. When im feeling angry i tell him its a bad day and i'm not coping and he seems to deal with it a little better. But when i'm angry i don't know why i'm angry sometimes i just wake up and i'm angry but its at nothing i literally open my eyes and i'm really angry, and then it gets worse because i don't know what i'm angry about. I have also found that when i'm angry my memory gets worse

thank you Gracious for your post, before i go to bed tonight (if i get to be tonight) i will be writing myself a note to stick to the bed side table reminding me to drop the rope and breath.

Loks like i got a bit of reading to do with the links that have been posted aswell,
MissGems73
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Sat Nov 08, 2014 6:27 am


Return to Living with Fibromyalgia

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests