Going to an event- feeling anxious

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Going to an event- feeling anxious

Postby bouncer0304 » Mon Jun 08, 2015 10:37 pm

I'm going to an event on Saturday. While i am excited about it, i'm also feeling very anxious. I'll be with a lot of people but i still feel scared and i don't know why. The last time i went on such a big outing with a group of friends was at college about 10 years ago. I know as soon as i'm there i'll be okay but i'm stressing about going when i shouldn't be. Any advice to help relax a little?
I have also found out that said event will be streamed on the internet which i didn't know about until today and i'm worried in case i get seen or grassed up to DWP. I will be in fancy dress but i have a limp so someone may know it's me. This is a once in a lifetime event and i know it'll be great but i don't want to end up losing my benefit over it :cry: Should i be okay? I know i'll be paying for it for days to come but i can't just stay at home doing nothing! Again any advise will be welcome. Thanks.
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Re: Going to an event- feeling anxious

Postby UnderSiege » Mon Jun 08, 2015 11:32 pm

Hmmm.

A tricky one for you and interesting to know that your main fear is the damn DWP (who should know better, damn their eyes!)
I think as you feel comfortable about going, want to go even though you know you'll 'pay for it later' and have friends who sound like they're understanding and cool with you...
You absolutely and totally should go...
B***** what the world thinks, it's your first big night out in years.
Go I say, and enjoy yourself! Be the boss for once... and have a drink for me (and everyone else who frequents this forum)

Because what else are you going to do? Stay at home and be unhappy even though with Fibro etc being so damned unreliable and erratic you do actually have halfway decent days among all the bad ones? That's not good enough!

Go! And I sincerely hope you have an absolute ball. You've earned and deserve it!

Have a very very good one!
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Re: Going to an event- feeling anxious

Postby SchroedingersCat » Tue Jun 09, 2015 8:30 am

I'm confused - why would you lose your benefits over a one-off event, you're not working it are you?
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Re: Going to an event- feeling anxious

Postby bouncer0304 » Tue Jun 09, 2015 9:46 am

No i'm not working on it but was worried since we all know what DWP are like.
The response on facebook has been amazing. I don't know these people and yet they're fantastic. My friends understand and will keep an eye on me. I'm still nervous (guess that's down to Fibro and anxiety effect it causes) but now i'm determained to go and have fun! I'll pay for it afterwards but to hell with it!
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Re: Going to an event- feeling anxious

Postby SchroedingersCat » Tue Jun 09, 2015 10:10 am

Enjoy it, everyone deserves little fun in their lives. I'm horrified at the thought that you're not allowed to do ANYTHING because you're on benefits for ill health, most GPs recommend things like this for long term ill health issues to help you feel more positive! I have encountered this attitude before, from a boss when I was off with work related stress, depression and anxiety - he thought if I was well enough to go out and have lunch with my partner, I was well enough to be at work. I resigned with nothing to go to rather than ever have to see his ******* face again.
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Re: Going to an event- feeling anxious

Postby FluppyPuffy » Tue Jun 09, 2015 10:25 am

I can understand your worries about the streaming with the stories that are across all media platforms about the likes of DWP and employers using it to snoop on people. In most of the cases tho, where something has been seen online, it is because the person concerned is being investigated for some sort of incident or misdemeanour that they have been reported for. With you going in fancy dress, it's highly unlikely that someone watching online will recognise you unless they are specifically looking for you. And, depending on the theme of the event, there could be others walking with a limp/moving with what looks like difficulty as they are wanting to be in as much in character as they possibly can, so someone watching could mistake someone else for you or vice versa.

If you can, try and shove these unhelpful thoughts into a box, padlock it, put the heaviest weight you can find on top of it, and push it right to the back of your mind, then pile any other boxes on top of it to make sure it stays where you have put it, you can then use the energy that the worrying would have taken and put it towards the enjoyment side of things.

There will inevitably be some form of payback from your FibroMinion because you have dared to go out and enjoy yourself. Quite often, with the sort of payback you get from doing something you have enjoyed, thinking about highlights from the event, esp ones that make you :lol: :lol: :lol: can help make dealing with what comes just that little bit easier to do :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing:
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Re: Going to an event- feeling anxious

Postby Susan Stokes » Tue Jun 09, 2015 11:09 am

You're entitled to enjoy yourself, so stop stressing. Put it down to therapy and tell them Dr Sue told you to do it.
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Re: Going to an event- feeling anxious

Postby Zia2014 » Tue Jun 09, 2015 4:37 pm

Go! Enjoy yourself! Have fun!

That is all :mrgreen:
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Re: Going to an event- feeling anxious

Postby bouncer0304 » Sun Jun 14, 2015 2:54 pm

Thank you all for your lovely messages of support. The event wasn't streamed after, just some gaming footage caught so nothing of us really. Had lots of people checking on me yesterday making sure i was okay when i was taking lots of breaks (loved it but it's so hectic it's hard to be in the hall for long) and even fell asleep for a bit on the way home. As predicted i'm very tired and achey but it was a blast and definately worth the payback today! Haven't had that much fun with a group of friends for such a long time. It went so well Nintendo may organise another event if we push for it!
I was scared to say i play video games on here as i don't want to give the impression i just sit in front of a tv playing all day. Since i've become ill my gaming time has dramatically reduced but i still enjoy playing when i feel up to it and games last 10 times longer than they ever did which is great moneywise lol! I'm so lucky to be part of a group which is not only like a real community but who care about me and look after me well. You know what? I've had more concern from this group in the last two years than i've had from some "friends" in the last five years! I've even tried to organise get togethers but sadly they don't seem to want to know. Now not only am i part of a group which shares my hobby but it's full of people who are great fun and we all get along so well plus i can spread the word about fibromyalgia too which they seem to get :)
I'm resting at home until i need to go out Wednesday so just got to take it easy. So glad i went now. I just wish that before big things i wouldn't get so wound up...
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Re: Going to an event- feeling anxious

Postby UnderSiege » Sun Jun 14, 2015 8:44 pm

Hi Bouncer.

Good to know you decided to go and had a good time.
I'm a gamer too and haven't really had the chance to indulge for a month due to not feeling well and also other responsibilities (bah!) so I know how it feels when your fave hobby/pastime gets curtailed and I really really need to get back to Dying Light and check out the new games I got on the Steam sale... :(
I need to get involved with a group like yours more. I only have my best friend close by but he is busy with police work and his young son while everyone else I know got degrees, careers, wives and kids and moved far away and like you, I too have negative folks in my life only they're my family who I unfortunately have to live with... so for me gaming is even more necessary an escape.
If you could give me a heads up on such groups and how to find out more I'd really appreciate it and as for the support, you're most welcome :-D

Keep on gaming and take care.
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