Going back to work.

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Going back to work.

Postby helentolley » Tue Aug 11, 2015 8:36 am

Hi everyone. I feel really depressed at the moment i have recently started a job in a shop i haven't worked in 10 years due to a mental break down due to working and coping with fibro. Anyway cut along story short i have gone back to work 2 weeks ago as a shop assistant i can't sit down as i have to stand up i didn't tell my employer about my fibro as i thought i could cope etc . Well anyway i am in so much pain and it has all caught up with me now and i can't cope. I cried all last night and this morning as i am in so much pain and i feel so angry. My husband has been so caring and i have been so horrible to him. I am on nothing just solphadenine max. I am on holiday now for 10 days as i told them about this when i started the job but i am so dreading going back and to cap it all off i have started the menopause too. I am just so sad and i am disappointed. Before see, i was at home and i could manage it but when you go work you can't do what you like.The thing is i was actually enjoying going back to work i felt someone again. I don't know, i am so fed up having to explain myself to others, as i look fine. Advice needed please. I am going to make an appointment to see the doctor next week but all they tend to give me previously was anti depressants and paracetamol. xxx
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Re: Going back to work.

Postby UnderSiege » Tue Aug 11, 2015 5:27 pm

Hi Helen.

I don't know what to say other than your situation really strikes a chord with me...
For years (getting to actual decades now) I haven't been able to do the whole full time job/career thing either for much the same reasons as you... so I worked for me family instead as and when I could... never got recognition, respect or thanks just abuse but now that things with me are worse and I'm far less able to commit due to my ills and my lack of motivation and resentment I get recognition belatedly but only from them realising things they want done are no longer getting done... their response? get nastier... which fixes nothing.

As for advice... are you working full time hours or part time? Full time would probably imo be too much of a stretch to start with after so long 'off' whether ill or not... I'm guessing you may have made the same mistake I have countless times... the error of aiming too high (or biting off more than you can chew) No, it's not a bad thing at all though so don't feel bad for wanting to get out there and give it your best shot or for being confident.
I remember committing to a woodcrafting course 12 years ago which was only 2 days a week and although interesting and a good experience, it wiped me out (this was when, as far as I know, I only had osteoarthritis to deal with. I hadn't even heard of fibromyalgia back then)
Can they not provide a high stool or something behind the till for you to at least take the weight off your legs/feet a little?

I hope these issues get sorted as I know it would be a huge shame and a blow for you to have to give up on doing something that makes you feel a part of things again.
Enjoy your holiday (that's what it's for) go and see your GP and make it serious, get the help and meds you're entitled to ok. They may require some getting used to but will help somewhat.

Best of luck, take care and let us know how things go.
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Re: Going back to work.

Postby Joan 100 » Tue Aug 11, 2015 5:57 pm

Hi Helen

I think you should tell your employer about your illness, they will most likely be very understanding and ask what changes can be made so the job doesn't aggravate your symptoms so much. I would seriously consider what alterations may help like a chair/stool more breaks etc so you have some constructive suggestions ready. If this job is infeasible then why not consider becoming self employed :?: Anyway you've got 10 days off so don't worry about it relax, recuperate and enjoy your holiday :flowers:
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Re: Going back to work.

Postby FrenchJan » Wed Aug 12, 2015 9:06 am

Hi Helen. This illness we have is depressing at the best of times, so why pile on more stress. You are pushing yourself to your very limits and this can't be good for you or your relationship. Please don't feel a failure by having to give this job up. You tried and now you have a better understanding of your limits. I hope you have a lovely holiday x
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Re: Going back to work.

Postby FionaS » Mon Aug 17, 2015 2:57 pm

Hi I am sure if you tell your employer they will make provision. Although it might have been better to mention it at interview, you can still tell the employer now. The Equality Act does classify fibromyalgia as a disability, so they have a legal obligation to make provision for you. As for menopause, it is horrible. I have just about come out the other side of mine and I wouldn't want to do it again. I resorted to venlafaxine in the end as my GP wouldn't let me have HRT (each time she took my BP it was up in the sky, but those machines press right on one of my sore points when they inflate so no wonder but at home on my machine it's fine). If I was doing meno again I would say forget being natural, get anything and everything you can to help! Like childbirth, you grab anything at all if it will make it better.... hope you get a good outcome, Fiona
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