am i the most unluckiest or just wallowing

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am i the most unluckiest or just wallowing

Postby animalhouse » Sat Mar 26, 2016 8:50 am

2008 my sister got septicaemia and had amputation
2010 took son out of school suspected aspergers/autism to homeschool
week later had car accident diagnosed fibro, hypermobility, ptsd
bsuspect adult sister above also on spectrum
2013. Daughter drops out college suspected aspergers/ mental health but won't get help do does iu
took overdose can't stand long term abusive relationship any kinger
2014. Had hearing for court case and settled
2nd daughter drops out college no idea lazy or mental health
2015. bight caravan to feta away from partner half week too scared to leave
April mum rushed hospital diagnosed lung cancer
Oct. left family home to live nearer mum as partner was never going to leave

Partner didn't want to try make an effirt make a go of it and wanted to leave years ago apparently. Now got family home and pt 35 hiur week job so even when he having kids is working,

I have been dumped in it to homeschool sol and get my girls help when they re willing to take it.

I feel cast aside he was verbally abusive but did everything with me so haven't dine anything on my own or driven since car accident.

Infer abandoned and cast aside instead of relief I am out of that constant name calling, and proof he didn't want me that's why that I suspected all along and he denied.

I feel so socially anxious I think I have aspergers as well but feel if I powered out to Drs my life they would think I an hypochondriac.
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Re: am i the most unluckiest or just wallowing

Postby Gaia » Sat Mar 26, 2016 10:02 am

To be honest, and I don't mean to sound nasty, but in my opinion - yes you are wallowing. Most of the thing you have listed have happened to OTHER people, not you. Yes they may be your family, but don't we all have family problems from time to time. Here's mine:

Mum died of cancer - and she didn't even know she had it until 5 days before she died

Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer a week later and died 2 months later.

I almost died after a traumatic birth and haemorrhage with my first child.

Left an abusive relationship and got followed by my ex until he found me living almost 200 miles away. Had to move again for safety.


Met and married a wonderful man and had two more children.

Son diagnosed with Asperger's at age 10 and had to be home schooled by me. He flitted from job to job after school and now lives on disability benefits.

Daughter didn't bother enrolling college, preferring to move in with a much older man and now lives with him in squalid little flat, with no future for herself, yet she doesn't seem to care.

I was involved in a car accident and broke my back and left leg.

Later diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and then Fibro and had to give up my job, which I loved. I miss going to work and my independence.

Brother had a heart attack and later a minor stroke. He is now left with limited movement on his left side and is not yet 50.

Husband diagnosed with mental health problems (combat ptsd) from his days in the forces and a couple of years later he is now bed-ridden and needing 24/7 care after being diagnosed with Parkinson's disease.

See the pattern? We ALL have family problems - but wallowing in them is not good for mental or physical health. Deal with each "incident" and then move along. It is not only YOUR family who has problems. How you deal with them is the key. Constantly over thinking the past does your health no good and could be the reason your children have mental health problems. They may be unconsciously following your behaviour.

Fibro when compared to other illnesses is NOT the end of the world. Yes, it is sometimes limiting in the quality of life, but it's not life threatening. Look for the GOOD in your life, not the bad. I hope at some point you can see life in a better light. Mental health is horrid, but with therapy the right medication, you can get on top of it, even if only for a short period every now and again. Look for the sunshine, not the rain.

Sending you love and hugs. Today may be a better one for you xx
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Re: am i the most unluckiest or just wallowing

Postby Pharaoh66 » Sat Mar 26, 2016 10:36 am

Unfortunately, things happen to us that are beyond our control.

I have diabetes. In the last two years I've had two strokes. My father died in December 2014 and my mum committed suicide last August. Then I got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.

I am autistic. I have Aspergers.

None of these things happened to me because I'm a bad person or I lead such a lifestyle to bring them on. They just happened. Of course having Aspergers makes me very anxious and easily stressed which led to strokes and blood sugars all over the place and my mums death brought on my Fibro but I can't do anything about it.
I live a life full of pills, work in a job that's unsuitable and causes me daily stress, lack sleep and am still dealing with the fallout of my parents estate.
I didn't ask for any of this but what can I do ?.
You have to knuckle down, take things slowly, accept the good and bad days.... Or else you fall apart.
I'm sorry you have problems. Unfortunately you aren't alone. That's little comfort I know but someone, somewhere, is always worse off than you.

Keep strong!
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Re: am i the most unluckiest or just wallowing

Postby animalhouse » Sat Mar 26, 2016 10:41 am

Thank you you have helped me out into perspective.

Your life seems to have mirrored mine, I admire you for being able to puck yourself up. I need to break them down individually and deal one at a time.

just feel like I turn round and its the next thing and I know I depended on my ex, every time I have dealt with something like my mums radiotherapy I try and pat myself in the back to Say I can manage on my own.

My eldest did iu whilst at home, got her to take an adult ed sign language class that she lived so she now wants to apply to uni

We had to take our kitten to be put down yesterday so ......

I need to focus on the positives not feel the need to run away.
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Re: am i the most unluckiest or just wallowing

Postby Ivy67 » Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:22 pm

Yes you are wallowing. I'm not going into detail but my life has been a lot tougher than how you have described yours to be. However I always have a positive attitude, even when I got cancer last year people said I was amazing with how I dealt with it all.
I think that if you wallow and focus on all the bad things that happen then you will be eternally miserable. Turn your thoughts around and see yourself as being a stronger person to have come through the tough times. You kids will follow by example so if you're feeling sorry for yourself and let life get you down so will they, my son has Asperger's and daughter had severe depression and I brought them up totally alone without help from anyone and they are now both doing well due to the positive attitude I instilled in them.
We all want to run away sometimes but your head goes with you, face all your problems head on, you and only you are responsible for your happiness. Good luck and happy blessings x
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