Approaching a guy when you're ill and single

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Approaching a guy when you're ill and single

Postby cocobella » Fri Apr 08, 2016 11:10 pm

Hiya everyone, so sorry I haven't posted in ages or been on here. My only update is that I have a new and third autoimmune disease alongside fibro now. This is a bit of a funny subject and hoping some of you can give me some advice.

I moved into flats/apartments 9 months ago. Live alone now, still get lots of help from family and friends. Anyway, met my neighbour (extremely handsome, young guy) who stays across the corridor from me a few times and I know, like me he lives alone. The other day I was going away out to meet my friend and he was coming out his flat at the exact same time and we ended up going in the lift and walking out together. He was asking me how i was, formally introduced himself and shook my hand and asked my name, he was going away to work and asked me if thats where I was off to. I immediately seize up when people ask me this because I lost my job last year due to my illness, so I now work from home running a very small business. My response to his question was "no I don't work I'm unwell" about conversation ender lol. After it I was thinking I could have told him I'm unwell but still work from home, im just not employed. However, that was a bad case of verbal diahrrea. Anyway, we were chatting at the front door and he said it was really nice chatting to you and i HOPE I see you around. I then thought I cannot believe I live right next to an absolute BABE lol.
I am 29, he's 31. Anyway after this I went on to Facebook and found him and I know you can't tell much from a Facebook profile but we have a lot in common hobby wise, music taste and he's into vintage things which I am into aswell.
Now it is safe to say I totally fancy the guy. I don't know when we will next bump into each other but I want to explain in a jokey way why I siezed up a bit when he asked me if I was going to work. It's definitely an insecurity of mine after losing my job.
What the hell do you do when you fancy your neighbour who is definitely friend/more than friend material? Should I approach him or wait until we see each other again.which could be weeks?its amazing how little you sometimes see the person next door. I dont want to come across as desperate or creepy but I did get a "vibe" off of him that he liked me lol or I'm just completely nuts haha.
My dating history is...long term relationship 7 years, another relationship 1 year. Then past few years have been on a string of dates with all the wrong types of people (or maybe I'm the problem haha).

My friends have suggested adding him on facebook, I refused that as I think that can come across as creepy lol. Please be nice with me everyone and I hope I dont sound like a desperado.


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Re: Approaching a guy when you're ill and single

Postby Topcat0001 » Sat Apr 09, 2016 12:16 pm

Give him a knock and ask him if he fancies a coffee sometime.

It could go either way regardless of you being unwell, at the very least you might gain another friend out of it :-)
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Re: Approaching a guy when you're ill and single

Postby thesse » Sat Apr 09, 2016 1:24 pm

Adding him on Facebook is ok, I do it for people I just met once at a party.. but maybe a more concerted effort would be better? Ask him over for a coffee and show him some of the work you do. Ask him about his job and friends and see if you can get invited on a night out. Just be a mate but if you are interested make it clear, men like it to be clear. xx I hate being ill too and it does make you worry but a good man or any partner will know you are what is important not what kind of illness you have and will make accommodations and help you. xx
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