Help please

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Help please

Postby Gemini78 » Mon May 23, 2016 12:54 pm

Hello fellow sufferers, I hope you're all having as pain free a day as possible.
My name is Gemma and I'm 38 (although I currently feel about 98!) and it seems I may have had FM since the age of 11, brought on by trauma, so I know a lot about it, I have experienced many different symptoms, all of which are hitting me at once at the moment, and I have had many a flare up. My symptoms were fairly manageable before I had a very nasty fall from a loft three years ago. Since then they have been hounding me and I have not had one pain free day. My daily pain is just part of me now and I can cope with it sitting at around a five out of ten. However the flare up I am currently experiencing has the pain rising to a nine out of ten on most days. I had to go off sick from work in the middle of Feb this year and I am still signed off. My pain has been getting progressively worse and now I am at my wits end as it is all consuming. My hands, knees and back have been a constant nine for over week now and getting out of bed in the morning brings tears to my eyes.
All of my symptoms starting getting worse around about April time and then my partner had to have his hip replaced at the end of that month. When he came home from hospital I was having to do everything. I was keeping house whilst also tending to Him, lifting his leg into bed and in to the car etc. Which is very 'heavy' when resistant. I was also having to change the bed daily as his meds were making him sweat profusely. I was up and down the stairs to him all the time and the positions undertaken when washing him and helping him in to bed were back wrenching. He is very mobile now so things have gotten easier physically but I wonder if I am now suffering for all that I did then. I also have the stress of work and what is going to happen to my job. This is the second episode of long term sick I have taken in as many years. I fear my job may be at risk now and I have no idea how I will find another job should I lose this one. The job I have at he moment is not one I would chose (admin when I've always worked in care) but it's all I can do. The relationship my line manager has with me has been very volatile in the past, she has been personally attacking and we have had two nasty confrontations started off by her making false or unreasonable allegations against me. We were once friends and I think that's why she becomes very unprofessional towards me. This adds to my stress as I don't honestly know which is worse, losing my job or going back to working with her.

I have rambled, I apologise. My pain now is a mystery to me. I have never in the 27 years Of suffering with FM felt this bad and this out of control with it. Having been off work for so long I should be feeling better not worse. Can anyone help me please? Would you put this down to stress now and/or pay back for everything I did whilst my partner was in hospital and post-op at home? I'm very concerned and feel I am getting close to breaking down. Please help?

Gemma xx
Gemini78
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Re: Help please

Postby Hypnopian Faye » Mon May 23, 2016 2:56 pm

Hi Emma

I am sorry you're in so much pain. I know what is like to have the condition for so long, I can't remember a time without fibromyalgia. I had an episode in a period of high stress which left me pretty much bedridden, & between the pain and the meds, I lost my job and basically gave up. In the end though, I started self Hypnosis and managed to get my life back - it's the only thing that ever worked to help me manage the pain. The meds were rubbish - they took more life than they gave pain relief.

I hope you find a way to manage yours better. If stress is your big red button though, I would try since homeopathic stress busting methods - there are loads of them about.

Good luck!

- Faye
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Re: Help please

Postby divingforPearls » Fri May 27, 2016 5:14 am

Hi Emma, for sure you've done too much. My teenager usually does one load of washing up a day, but since she's been in exam mode, I've done it all for the past 2 weeks, and now I'm suffering for it. I seem to have an exact amount of what I can do- the usual routine - but anything extra, I should know to red flag it. Sometimes I know to do that, but at other times, there is no option, and I feel I just HAVE to do these things. Tough one, when things you HAVE to do YOU CAN'T. So there's still washing up to do - but I CAN'T physically do it. (and not enough water pressure in the summer to use the dish washer). So who is going to do it???????!!!!!!!The tricky thing for me now is to state this clearly to my family without breaking down in tears, even less helpful for them to have a tearful incompetent mess. It sounds like you could do with some outside help, to get you through this; whether that's a cleaner, or a therapist. Heck we can't afford a cleaner, cos I can't work! Either that or let go of some things - the extra things....I can't work any more, and that's the only reason I have enough energy usually to do house and kids stuff. Work is out of the question for me; well unless I worked and then did NOTHING else. I guess I am fortunate to have a husband who supports me. I feel massively guilty about it, but work is not possible for me at the moment, instead, my kids have a mother who can look after them properly. More or less!! You can't do everything with this, you just can't.
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Re: Help please

Postby Gemini78 » Tue Jun 28, 2016 2:50 pm

Sorry it's taken so long but sending you both a massive thank you for your replies. I haven't had the inclination to try your suggestions yet because I've been so tired just trying to get through the day. I have also been wallowing a bit. I'm so emotional at the moment I can cry at the drop of a hat.
Anyways, sending you both good wishes for better days (with any luck). I really hope things get better for you both xx
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