So overwhelmed :-(

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So overwhelmed :-(

Postby Tisa » Mon Sep 19, 2016 8:01 pm

Hi everyone

I thought I would come on here as I'm feeling particularly lonely in this pain at the moment. I'm having the worst flare up (even typing this is difficult) I've caught a cold, a depressive episode is starting (I have Bipolar disorder) my thyroiditis has kicked in again and I'm so tired :sleep: ...sorry for the list of negatives but people keep asking me 'are you tired because you look tired' and I think 'oh no!' because 1) I'm trying to pretend I'm not exhausted and they've blown my cover and 2) my vanity doesn't like it (no makeup has managed to hide the bags under my eyes yet!)

Does anyone else feel physically sick from the pain sometimes? How do you cope with that feeling of being isolated in your pain (if that makes sense)? On the one hand, I want reassurance and empathy but then when people give it to me, I feel that I'm causing a fuss and play it down until I'm saying 'yeah but you see I have pain every day so you just have to get on with it' which is true but it's also a really difficult truth to live with :cry:
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Re: So overwhelmed :-(

Postby LindyM66 » Mon Sep 19, 2016 11:28 pm

Hi Tisa

Sorry to read you're having a difficult time at the moment. I hope it soon passes.
No winder you're feeling overwhelmed - everything seems to be hitting you at once.
We do tend to put on " the outside" face don't we. Soldiering on! But you know Tisa, sometimes we have to stop, and give ourselves a little TLC and recharge. We need to be open to others giving us a little support too.
I have felt close to vomitting with the pain yes. Not so much now the Gabapentin has kicked in properly though. I'm lucky asthe Gabapentin and tramadol work well for me and keep the pain manageable.
Easier said than done, but try and remember - good, bad or ugly - things pass. Nothing stays the same. This sh*tty time will pass.

Much Love
Lindy x
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Re: So overwhelmed :-(

Postby Tisa » Fri Sep 23, 2016 7:18 pm

Thanks Lindy, really appreciate your kind words and for taking the time to reassure me

I know this is such an obvious question but is it normal to feel exhausted every single day like this? My eyes actually hurt! I feel like I'll never have normal refreshing sleep again. I'm a real fighter and always keep going but this week has been tough!
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Re: So overwhelmed :-(

Postby Andyp » Fri Sep 23, 2016 11:17 pm

Tisa:

I wish I could say something more positive, but I also feel exhausted all the time. I also have long term depression, which as much as I try can't seem to shake off.

Nearly 3 years on from my fibro diagnosis, I'm still really struggling to accept it which I think adds to my depression.
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Re: So overwhelmed :-(

Postby LindyM66 » Sat Sep 24, 2016 7:43 am

Hi Tisa,

Yes, the fatigue can be absolutely awful. I usually find it "hits me like a sledgehammer around 2pm, every single day. Like you, I don't wake up feeling refreshed at all. Takes me a good 2 hours to "limber up" in the mornings.
Although these symptoms are a pain (literally), it's about managing them as best we can, in a way that suits us. Sometimes we can do that, and sometimes it doesn't work. I think it's just the nature of this b*ggering thing Tisa.
And of course, when we have a cold or some other "bug", that seems to make us feel worse anyway, doesn't it?
Andyp made a good point, about "acceptance". To accept we have a condition, doesn't mean we're throwing in the towel. No, acceptance , for me anyway, means " ok, I have this sh*tty" thing - it's not going to go away - what can I do to lessen the impact". Make sense Tisa?
Yes, I get frustrated at times, as I have to do things differently now, or can't do somethings I used to. But I try not to let that eat me up. Saying that, I still have days where I have a good old rant and swear til the air is blue :-) I find it helps to "let rip" now and then.

One day at a time Tisa. You too Andyp.

Much Love
Lindy x
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Re: So overwhelmed :-(

Postby Roselil » Sun Sep 25, 2016 3:12 pm

Dear Tisa, So overwhelmed.

How I feel for you, for I know exactly how you are feeling! My heart goes out to you. It is living with pain every day, with most days severely, and trying everything possible to ease your pain, but little helps. I have been very ill and disabled for many years, but then I am sure I am much older than yourself.

I do not know if you have tried Bio-freeze gel for the severest parts, but that does help me, especially if I have to do even a short journey in a car. I am unable to take any movement, so always suffer afterwards. I also suffer after any outing in my wheelchair, because my husband/carer has to push me around, and again Bio-freeze does give some relief, the only trouble being the sensitivity of my eyes, as it is quite strong smell.

I must admit that the utter fatigue is hard to cope with too, and hours and hours spent in bed, seems to alleviate it very little, but perhaps one gets a couple of days being up on the best days.

I think one of the hardest things is that friends or relatives just do not understand us, nor the severity of pain which we endure on a daily basis. I know it has taken years for my husband to realise this, and still he does not get it, that I am constantly ill and disabled. People cannot understand that you just cannot make any plans, as it is not only a day by day situation, but an hour by hour situation.

We are Christians, so we do have our trust in the Lord, which carries us through many difficult situations and trials.

I sincerely hope you get some relief soon. I am sure you may have already tried some of the drugs available. Having tried many years ago, I had to stop them, as for me the side effects were far too unbearable. As I am hardly able to swallow, I take liquid Panadol Extra with caffeine and need to crush anything else, unless the tablets are silky smooth to swallow, and even then I can choke frequently.

My love and prayers, from Roselil
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