advice

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advice

Postby hcp81 » Wed Nov 02, 2016 8:11 pm

I have cfs/fibro - still docs are unsure which. I had a miscarriage in July (I was on the pill) and this experience has made us realise we want to have a child together. However, I'm very worried about my health and I know I would struggle. If I go out for a few hours I need at least 3 days to recover from it. I really really want a baby but I'm scared if I might not cope. I'm 36. Has anyone else been in this situation?
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Re: advice

Postby *Lisa* » Thu Nov 03, 2016 1:56 pm

Hi,

I cannot tell you what to do but can advise you in working out what you need to think of.

The main issue with chronic health and having babies is support. Do you/will you have daily support looking after baby so when your feeling very fatigued and needing your bed you can go off and get some rest? This is not for the for the first few months this is for many years because as soon as baby is on the move and gets heavier it comes with its own set of problems.

I have a grandchild, she is 11months and crawling. Shes also into everything and has a loud voice :lol: when she visits its like a huge whirlwind coming through the door and within an hour im completely exhausted! :sleep: and in pain from picking her up etc...

Dont get me wrong i love my grandbaby dearly and this is not her fault, shes a normal baby doing baby things :-D its me! I cannot cope with the noise, the picking her up etc... She also loves to jump all over me :lol: OUCH! :lol: bless her. So i have her mum about always so when im unable to do much more with her mum takes over. Its sad in ways as i wish i could babysit and spend more time with her but my health just does not allow it.

I am able tho to spend quality time with grandbaby if my daughter is around to take over when i start flagging. Once they have left i go to bed and stay there for days after recovering! My daughter has fibro also and her partner is not of much help. She struggles alot but just about manages to cope.

The success i feel lies in routine. When baby sleeps, you sleep. Trying to get baby into bedtime routine as quick as you can so you can rest in the evenings and get a night sleep.

Organisation. Your support can lie in things like making up bottles and maintaning housework/food shopping etc so all energies are given to baby.

When the baby is on the go its making sure things in the home are baby proof :lol: so you dont have to keep on getting up and down and moving items and chasing baby through the house with the remote control he/she has dashed off with :lol: i know! my little minx is into everything :lol:

So its not that you cannot have a baby its working out support and putting things into place and organisation :mrgreen:

Its not about the first few months, its about support for the first 3 years at least or when they start nursery which is around the 2 & half to 3 years.
As a Public Moderator & Admin of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia...Lisa
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