Dealing with someone whos got fibro

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Dealing with someone whos got fibro

Postby paulfoel » Tue Nov 15, 2016 9:25 am

As a husband I find it very difficult so looking for bit of advice...

Wife has had for years. We've got two children - one teenager one 3 yr old. Its tough and has been even more so recently.

Wife has now also got problems with her knee (unrelated). We've had serious issues with our teenager in school (which has really upset wife). 3yr old seems to be going through a particularly demanding phase at the moment and wont leave wife get 5 mins peace. It never rains....

As for me, I try to help her. But Im up at 530am for work every day (tired!). Ive got problems with my elderly father and top it all off I've just started medication for anxiety/depression... Great eh?

Biggest problem I've got is I get home at night and wife just seems to have zero patience and is irritable with EVERYTHING. Its hard for me to take. She seems to have no manners, can be really rude, and just cant even be bother to try with anyone. She'll say the first thing that comes into her head not even thinking if its hurtful or not.

Now I know that shes having a really bad time at the moment. All the stress is making her fibro much worse too. But I find it difficult to cope. I just cant ignore it when I should. Can someone explain how it is? Do you all feel like this at times?

An example, she wanted to get into a cupboard last night and I was standing there (not on purpose!) so she shoved past me. I was really annoyed and told her. Her answer dont be so irritating and get in the way! I tried not to but we had a huge argument. I was just so annoyed that she has no manners, says hurtful things and shoved past me like that!
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Re: Dealing with someone whos got fibro

Postby LindyM66 » Tue Nov 15, 2016 10:03 pm

Hi there,

I think we can all relate to the pain and frustration of FM. It can be so difficult at times, and of course, lack of sleep and constantly trying to manage pain, can really drag a person down.
However, in my opinion, there is no excuse for rudeness. It may be more beneficial if your wife explained to you how she was feeling. Also, she has to realise that you get tired too. Communication to create understanding - it's a 2 way street.
Would she speak to others that way? Her friends? If so, her friends won't hang around long.
It's not your fault that your wife has FM and having a family sure can be stressful at times, but I think it's normal to experience these things.
I hope you both manage to have a chat and feel better.

Much Love
Lindy x
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Re: Dealing with someone whos got fibro

Postby paulfoel » Wed Nov 16, 2016 10:35 am

Thanks Lindy - I know what you mean..

She does speak to her mother like this too - its not just me. She has had issues in the past with friends too as well. I guess the old saying "you hurt those closest to you"

BUT, you're right. I'm just trying to be tolerant and understand a little rather than just go off on one myself. She is having a really hard time at the moment.
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