so fed up with meds and medics

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so fed up with meds and medics

Postby sugar plum » Sat Jun 06, 2009 10:31 pm

So fed up with all this rubbish.... loads of medication, some causing symptoms they're supposed to cure. :banghead:
I was a fit and active professional 42 year old working full time, gym 5 + times a week :crazy: - 3 years later after a journey of tests, scepticism and less than supportive gp's ... I'm diagnosed... more meds, my life is getting more and more narrow, my achievements almost non existent.
:cry:
I don't know where to go...or what to do :oops: :oops: :oops:
My quality of life is disappearing and I have no control... I wonder if I should just stop all the meds and try healthy diet, relaxation, exercise... I'm desperate to get my life back :cry: :cry: :cry:
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Re: so fed up with meds and medics

Postby armanisgirl » Sat Jun 06, 2009 10:51 pm

Ohhhh sugarplum :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

I must be sharing your feelings today. I've just not long finished saying I am so fed up of just existing. I keep trying to motivate myself....stupid things like getting a job :crazy: or thinking of a holiday.

Then I sit, in constant pain, exhausted after doing nothing all day, miserable and thinking, my life is going past me and I can't stop it. I watch that stupid Bupa advert, and think "I wish I could pop in there and get an MOT and come out 100% again"!

I feel like I haven't smiled for months, yet I know I have and have even been in fits of laughter, but the constant pain of fibro makes the days drag so slowly, that it does feel like months since I last smiled.

I guess I'm in a depressive rut, not depression, but fibro depressed, if that makes sense? But, I'm not on meds......still. I have to wait for new rheumy to re-confirm fibro :banghead:

I know the meds are getting you down, but how would you be if you didn't take them? Possibly suicidal?!? It is very depressing to watch others do what you used to be able to do, and know you can't risk doing them again. I guess when you first became ill, like many of us, you did the healthy eating etc, to no effect. You were fit and healthy and very active before fibro took over. Not taking the meds will not change the fact that you have fibro, and is likely to leave you feeling a lot lot worse than you currently are.

Today has been one of the days where I want to scream and shout and blame someone for me having this condition, but I can't, coz nobody caused it, it has caused me. In the last few weeks, I have lost interest in almost everything, I haven't gone out the door, I stumble from day to day and feel very alone, even when I have my OH and my kids beside me. Fibro stinks. And I'm annoyed at myself for letting it beat me emotionally, as I usually try to be so positive.

You are far from alone in how you feel, but don't stop the meds, not without discussing alternatives with the GP/rheumy or you will become even more ill. Maybe changing the combination of meds might help, or maybe the healthy diet, relaxation etc along with the meds might help?

I hope you feel a bit brighter soon. It's not easy staying positive and hopeful, but we're all here and send you lots of gentle :grouphug: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: xx
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Re: so fed up with meds and medics

Postby sugar plum » Sat Jun 06, 2009 11:11 pm

Thank you so much for being there :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
I know, it's silly but I feel so powerless.... my self esteem is in my boots and every day just rolls into the next.
I don't want to die, but I really don't want to carry on living like this :banghead: .... I wish I could just hibenate and eventually wake up refreshed .
I want to get back to work, but my battery is only about 20% charged.... oh god this is just awful.
My yougest son is 11 and my grandaughter is 6 they are the light in my life, but what am I now, no playing in the parks with the football, no swimming races, or long walks in the woods.
Ive given my lovely leather briefcase and work bag to my daughter as I can't bear the pain of carrying them over my shoulder...... there must be an end to all this :cry: :cry: :cry:
I feel bereaved... and as a nurse I worked in a hospice for many years and now realise that identifying the process doesn't help the feelings :(
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Re: so fed up with meds and medics

Postby shazq » Sun Jun 07, 2009 10:15 am

I am so sorry you are feeling like this, at least we can all sympathise with you.
I am on 23 & more if needed pills a day, i just wish i could take 1 and make all the pain anaxicty go away.

We all go through periods of depression and want our lives back to the way we were.
We get very frustrated, not being able to do the things we used to do.
I get very frustrated over house work, i used to work then come home and hover every day polish the sides, do the ironing.
Now i am lucky if i can do just one of them jobs a day.
Like you i was very active.

Please don't just stop your meds, that in itself can make you very ill...
Go have another chat to your GP, let them know how you are feeling.
Have you been to a pain clinic? if not ask your GP if he can send you on one.


Fibro affects our nervous system, so although healthy eating will be good for our weight gain it will not help the fibro.
Hope you are feeling better soon. :hugs: :hugs:
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Re: so fed up with meds and medics

Postby sugar plum » Sun Jun 07, 2009 11:18 am

Morning guys,

Thanks so much for the messages. :hugs:
I know your right of course, having woke up a 5am, stiff as hell, there was no contest between the lightly stewed fresh fruit... or the acupan & co codamol, lol thanks Shaz, just need someone to remind you sometimes I guess! :crazy:
Armanisgirl, I hope your feeling a bit better today, it's amazing how this illness has the ability to rob us of so much both physically and emotionally, I hope you soon get some more help from the specialist..
I think I need to find a focus, or hobbie, Ive always been so used to ticking the jobs off, and like you say Shaz, my achievements nowadays are hard to measure by previous lifestyle. I can't help feeling embarrasssed :oops: :oops: I went out to one shop and had coffee with my sister yesterday afternoon, 1 hour, needed help to walk and felt I'd completed a workout... this is so scary, I'm on sick from work (14th weeks) and I'm still desperately holding onto the hope of returning to 'normality' yet improvement in symptoms is in direct relation to decreased effort, gentle pacing, regular rest periods... somehow can't imagine I'll be able to manage working when it takes me all my time just to get through the daily essentials :dunno:
Love to all x
:grouphug:
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Re: so fed up with meds and medics

Postby princess P » Sun Jun 07, 2009 12:01 pm

Hi im sorry you are feeling so bad at the moment, its hard 1 miniute you want to be back to your old self ,+the next you realise its not entirly realistic. No one asks for this terrible disease to happen but it hits somtimes gradually and other times like a tun of bricks. You are still you, just have to hope tomorrow is a better day ( god that was a bit scarrlett oh'hara) hope for some is the only thing that keeps us going, i hate the fact that i cannot do stuff with my kids which i would like to do :cry: , i feel im letting people down most of the time. But gotta hope for everyones sake things get betta. For all of us.x
Hi any one I have a preliminary diagnosis of chronic widespread pain syndrome, whatever that is but g.p. is convinced its F.M. Sending out good vibes to all . x
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Re: so fed up with meds and medics

Postby armanisgirl » Sun Jun 07, 2009 1:08 pm

Hi sugarplum,

Hope you're feeling a bit brighter today. It can be difficult looking for the positives when feeling so down and fed up though.

I've also been trying to think (that hurts! :lol: ) of hobbies I could take up. Some members do craft things such as card making, which I'd like to try. Perhaps you could merge the hobby with spending quality time with your son and grandaughter? Have quiet afternoons doing something such as cardmaking together? You don't have to overdo things and think you ought to be taking them to the park etc; just doing something slightly different with them, such as arts and crafts, should (?) be a lot less exhauting for you, but also give you great pleasure, as you'll be spending time with them. Maybe start off by making a memory box or something, and then making things to put in the memory box? Then you can sit and look through it and have fond memories of this quality time spent together.

My mum is an artist (I haven't got the genes from her sadly) and my kids absolutely adore going to spend a night or two with her, and she has them making all kinds of things; from silk batik paintings to collages of historical figures such as Henry 8th! They love this time spent with her, she loves spending this 'quiet' active time with them, as she gets quickly exhausted taking them to the park (well, she is 74 this year lol), and as she lives 2 hours away, they don't get to see her that often, which makes it all the more special.

Your son is still young enough to enjoy activities that don't involve football; making arty things based on whatever he is 'into' should interest him. And your grandaughter will probably love making things too, if she's like my daughter, she'll love all the glitter and coloured cards!

Hope this helps and you can start to feel 'a proper' mum/grandmother again. And who knows, after a few practice sessions, you might be able to start selling your creations!!!

Take care and gentle hugs for you :hugs:
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Re: so fed up with meds and medics

Postby sugar plum » Tue Jun 09, 2009 11:12 pm

Hi Armanisgirl,
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.
Some really great idea's. my grandaughter loves her art, I've brought her a special box, full of everything, stickers, sparkles, cards, foils the works. She's very arty, much better than me!
I tried cross stitch yrs ago, loved that, but I'm rather inpatient so rather like the short projects, as I want to see results!
I definately, need to feel Ive achieved something, which as you know when you live with fibro can be really tough!
Hope your having a good week :hugs:
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