how to deal with a doubting doctor

Anything to do with the NHS or Private Healthcare.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

how to deal with a doubting doctor

Postby virusqueen » Fri Aug 14, 2009 1:54 am

Hi All,

Im new here so hello to one and all......

I am 37 years old and for many many years i have suffered badly with aches and pains, depression, ibs and a catalogue of different ailments. I have visited my doctor on countless occasions complaining about my seemingly endless problems.

I originally thought that i may have arthritis as my fingers would swell and started to go a funny shape but after testing was told there was nothing. Over the years the pain i have experienced has spread all over my body, i cant even walk my children to school as the pain i get can be unbearable....A friend dropped me at my local shop last week and i bought a loaf, the walk home is about 400 yards and by the time i got home i was crying in pain and my arm was burning after carrying just a loaf, it felt as though id carried heavy weights.

In my youth i was very strong and now i cannot pour a kettle without pain, i cant even peel potatoes and have had to start bying ready made stuff. Its just getting hard to do anything for myself.

After trawling the internet to see if all these problems were related i came across something called fibromyalgia......i was amazed as i read the symptoms, even down to bruxism (teeth grinding) that keeps me awake most nights, i knew that was me, and now im stuck.

My problem is, how do i go and talk to my doctor about it....i have been so many times over the years im just scared she wont believe me and send me packing with a box of paracetamol.....

My pain is so bad that my mobilty is severly affected, im so tired simple chores feel like a full days hard labour, some mornings i am so stiff my husband has to help me on the loo (im so embarrased to say).

I read somewhere that sometimes a trauma can trigger it off, i had a riding accident when i was a child and a horse jumped on back pain has just got worse and worse and i would say that it has reached its peak in the last 5 years.....

On every visit i try to talk to my doctor about my pain but its like talking to a brick wall.

Any advice would be gratefully i perservere with my current doctor and go in loaded with information or shall i find a new doctor who may be a bit more understanding

thank you
UKFM Newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Aug 13, 2009 1:13 am

Re: how to deal with a doubting doctor

Postby shazq » Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:08 am

Have you another GP in your surgery you can see?
If not go back and explain how you are feeling and ask if you can be sent to see a Rheumy.

The Rheumy would do some tests to rule everything else out, and it would be a Rheumy who would DX you for fibro.
Some people have had a DX from their GP, but most are seen by a Rheumy.

Good luck.
keep us updated. :hugs:
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
Fibromyalgia Awareness Day May 12TH.
User avatar
UKFM Veteran
Posts: 11449
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2009 8:16 pm
Location: wrapped up under my duvet at home.

Re: how to deal with a doubting doctor

Postby cariad » Sat Aug 15, 2009 1:08 pm

Hi I had a similar reaction to most of the GPs in my sugery but I kept on seeing new ones until I finally met one who understood. He referred to a rheumy and i was diagnosed. Although there is little to ease the pain at least he is sympathetic, always ready to listen and believes me. So try other GP.s in your practice. :hugs:
UKFM Member
Posts: 776
Joined: Fri May 15, 2009 6:00 pm

Re: how to deal with a doubting doctor

Postby virusqueen » Sun Aug 16, 2009 2:58 am

Thanks for the replies, i appreciate it.

Unfortunately i live in a rural area and there is only one doctor in the next nearest one is only a few miles away. I guess i will go and try again and request to be seen by a rheumy, if that fails then i will have to consider moving doctors.

Its such a hard thing to live with, constant pain, being tired all the time and basically feeling miserable, it would be so good to actually know why these things are happening, then i suppose its easier to deal with as it has a name.

My best friend laughs at me when i talk about it.....she just says 'your always ill' or that its all in my head, im sure most of you on here have come across that. I told her that just because i look ok on the outside doesnt mean im ok on the inside, I hurt, badly, and have just learnt to hide the pain.

I will certainly keep you updated, im glad ive found somewhere i can share my issue with.
UKFM Newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Aug 13, 2009 1:13 am

Re: how to deal with a doubting doctor

Postby dollydaydream » Sun Aug 16, 2009 2:45 pm


I'm quite shocked at the lack of support you are getting from your best friend. I can't imagine how stressful that miust be for you.

I have posted a link to something called 'letter to normals' which is very good at describing what it is like living with Fibro. I really recommend the second one, but the first is very good to. ... ormals.htm

I have these posted on my facebook page! I have no idea if my friends have read them, but it givess them the opportunity if they are so minded.

I have to say I have found everyone one here to be loving and warm and friendly, even when wracked with pain, there is a great sense of community and family. I myself have a bit of a dry if not macabre sense of humour, but they forgive me!

Take Care
Sending you love and light

Sarah xxx
User avatar
UKFM Member
Posts: 109
Joined: Sat Jul 18, 2009 9:19 pm

Re: how to deal with a doubting doctor

Postby shrimp » Tue Aug 18, 2009 1:12 pm

go back and see your gp and say you think it could be fibro and could he refer you to a rheumy who will then do several tests to rule out things such as arthritis, gout etc.....

please keep on at your gp, i went to my mr and mrs gp for 18 months with my symptoms - which started after my twins were born via c section feb 07...they kept fobbing me off - eventually saw another gp who referred me straight away and six months later finally got diagnosed.....i am 38 and my OH has to help me with loo as well, i have 2 1/2 year old twins who i can barely pick up, i have terrible pains in my feet and can barely walk some days - have very weak hands to cannot cook.........i wrote a letter of complaint against the 2 gp;s and now the nice doc is bending over backwards to help me.
apply for dla - i got awarded low rate care cos i cant lift and carry in the kitchen, but all the things i said i couldnt do they said i could !!!....
also, i had occupational therapist round who got me a toilet frame - it looks like metal frame with potty without a bottom in it - its higher up than your loo so helps with the sitting/standing to far.
this fibro has effected me mentally, physically and emotionally. and also effects my kids life - i cant even go to the park with them cos i cant run after them....!!!!........SO keep on at your gp....i think if mine had of listened to me then i might not have deteriorated to the point i have and still getting worse......?? who knows

take care

shrimp cc
I like to make people laugh xxx
UKFM Member
Posts: 323
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 4:18 pm
Location: essex

Return to Doctors & Health Services

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest