Hi i'm new and need advice please.

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Re: Hi i'm new and need advice please.

Postby whitebutterflies » Sun Jul 17, 2011 11:09 am

Just like to say a huge thank you to everyone who replied and gave advice/support. I dont usually have a good experience with these forum's im usually ignored lol.

Anyway bf has said that he will use the forum through me, which is good hes now asking and looking for help advice for himself which makes me very :D .

Im going to sit and make the list of all his symptoms this week with him, and i will refuse to be ignored now. Bf has lost his fight when it comes to gp's me on the other hand hasnt and i will not bow down any longer i will get him seen to and treated properly.

Thanks again to everyone who helped means a lot to us both. Bf may register himself at some point :clap:
Been with my gorgeous man since 16-10-07 :)
Still trying to come to terms with his d/x of FM which was made on 14-07-11
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Re: Hi i'm new and need advice please.

Postby whitebutterflies » Sun Jul 17, 2011 11:20 am

I'm a bit concerned though he admitted last night he had had thoughts of ending our relationship, because he doesnt think it's fair to make me or the kids suffer. I dont see it this way and i defo dont see it as huge life changes like he does.

hings will change yes but i dont think our relationship will change as a result of his illness. Maybe he's scared that i will leave him which is silly but i guess he has his own fears right now. I'm hoping his thoughts like this will settle in time, and we can move forward from this, and well just get on with it i guess.
Been with my gorgeous man since 16-10-07 :)
Still trying to come to terms with his d/x of FM which was made on 14-07-11
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Re: Hi i'm new and need advice please.

Postby SuziM » Sun Jul 17, 2011 11:30 am

He's very lucky to have you fighting in his corner! You obviously love him very much and that's what people who are 'special' :crazy: need!!! Hopefully he will soon develop our 'laugh or you'll cry' sense of humour that reallt keeps your spirits up....if I couldn't laugh at myself I'd probably be a lot worse off than I am!! It's harder for a young man I suppose...but I'm sure with your help he'll get there!!! :blowkiss: ...
oh dear..I just read your last post...he's very down isn't he...I have to admit to sometimes feeling a burden to my family...I guess it comes with the teritory! Mention his frame of mind to your doc....depression is common with illnesses such as ours...it's not a mental issue, its chemical...my hubby is an expert at snapping me out of it....just tell him how much you and the kids need him, and tell him good times follow bad! Big hugs flower...I feel for you :hugs:
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Re: Hi i'm new and need advice please.

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sun Jul 17, 2011 12:19 pm

whitebutterflies wrote:I'm a bit concerned though he admitted last night he had had thoughts of ending our relationship, because he doesnt think it's fair to make me or the kids suffer. I dont see it this way and i defo dont see it as huge life changes like he does.

hings will change yes but i dont think our relationship will change as a result of his illness. Maybe he's scared that i will leave him which is silly but i guess he has his own fears right now. I'm hoping his thoughts like this will settle in time, and we can move forward from this, and well just get on with it i guess.


I can understand why he was having those sort of thoughts, as I've often had them myself. He could have been thinking and feeling he had become a burden to you as he is no longer able to do things like he used to. He may believe that he has no quality of life, which in turn means you have the same poor quality, so ending the relationship means you could find someone "normal" and healthy and have a better life instead of the existence you have with him :dunno: :dunno:

As you'll probably have gathered, we've all had similar experiences which helps us understand the things fellow sufferers are going thru. I read your post where you've said about him being down. Do as suzi has said and bring it up with the gp (it's possible that your OH won't want to bring it up himself as it can be difficult for us to admit that we have other problems as well :facepalm: :facepalm: ) There are talking therapies as well as a meds approach to try if he is depressed, as it is quite common for us to be affected by it.

You sound like a very special partner, just like my OH is, and even tho he had thoughts about ending the relationship, it's not what he would have really wanted. It must have taken an awful lot for him to tell you about those thoughts :oops: :oops: With your help he'll find his way thru things, and you'll have happier times despite FM now being part of the family :grouphug: :blowkiss: :grouphug: :blowkiss: :grouphug: :blowkiss:
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Re: Hi i'm new and need advice please.

Postby whitebutterflies » Sun Jul 17, 2011 1:00 pm

Thank you so much for your kind words i wouldnt let him go without a fight anyway :D so hes stuck with me :tongueout:

We will get through this it will take time but we will im hopeful for good things and happier days as well as the bad and low.

I think plenty of hugs and reassurance will be good.
Been with my gorgeous man since 16-10-07 :)
Still trying to come to terms with his d/x of FM which was made on 14-07-11
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Re: Hi i'm new and need advice please.

Postby whitebutterflies » Sun Jul 17, 2011 1:17 pm

Forgot to ask does any one know if FM is hereditary???????????
Been with my gorgeous man since 16-10-07 :)
Still trying to come to terms with his d/x of FM which was made on 14-07-11
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Re: Hi i'm new and need advice please.

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sun Jul 17, 2011 1:46 pm

There is a lot that is still unknown about FM, including if it is hereditary. However, there are members who have relatives with it, so altho there isn't a definite yes or no answer, we think there is something in the idea of it being hereditary or being passed on genetically.

There's not much chance of you being ignored on here, as you've hopefully seen :wave: :wave: :wave: Even if we don't have an answer for what you you are asking, we still tend to leave a reply, even if it's just to say :goodluck2: or give you a few :grouphug: :hugs: as well as breaking out the [chocolate] [chocolate] :wine: :wine: :twodrinking1: :twodrinking1: :beer: :beer: :twodrinking2: :twodrinking2:

As well as all the info, advice and things, we also have the odd outbreaks of :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: to help get us thru the day as :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: is always better than :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: so feel free to join in :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.

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Re: Hi i'm new and need advice please.

Postby whitebutterflies » Sun Jul 17, 2011 1:54 pm

thank you your post defo made me lol :clap:
Been with my gorgeous man since 16-10-07 :)
Still trying to come to terms with his d/x of FM which was made on 14-07-11
whitebutterflies
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Re: Hi i'm new and need advice please.

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sun Jul 17, 2011 2:45 pm

YAY!!! :clap: :clap: :lol: :lol: :lol:
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.

If your dog doesn't like someone, then you probably shouldn't either
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Re: Hi i'm new and need advice please.

Postby denys » Sun Jul 17, 2011 3:11 pm

Good for you, stick with him and he'll get over this bit. sometimes its hard to make the effort and so it seems easier to push everyone away sounds like he'd have a hard job shaking you off :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: Dont ever worry about being ignored on here, we're far to nosy to ignore anyone :tongueout: :tongueout: :tongueout: :tongueout: :tongueout:
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Re: Hi i'm new and need advice please.

Postby whitebutterflies » Sun Jul 17, 2011 3:24 pm

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: so glad everyone is too nosey to ignore me yay. Hahahaha.

Yes will damn hard for him to shake me off lol im like a bad penny :tongueout: :tongueout:
Been with my gorgeous man since 16-10-07 :)
Still trying to come to terms with his d/x of FM which was made on 14-07-11
whitebutterflies
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Re: Hi i'm new and need advice please.

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sun Jul 17, 2011 3:29 pm

Good for you!! Altho he may not say much about it, having support and reassurance from someone can make a huge difference :grouphug:
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.

If your dog doesn't like someone, then you probably shouldn't either
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Re: Hi i'm new and need advice please.

Postby whitebutterflies » Sun Jul 17, 2011 3:43 pm

Today is a good day took your advice and had a read through the brain fog posts and they have had us lol-ing for a while bf even admitted to one of his episodes and we lol-d together over it. Nice to see him laugh :D :D :D :D :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

This forum has been more help than any member could ever imagine with out it doubt he would be as keen to open up and its good hes not taken some stuff too seriously today yay :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Been with my gorgeous man since 16-10-07 :)
Still trying to come to terms with his d/x of FM which was made on 14-07-11
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Re: Hi i'm new and need advice please.

Postby denys » Sun Jul 17, 2011 4:16 pm

Glad the forum is helping laughter is definitely the best way through it :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
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Re: Hi i'm new and need advice please.

Postby whitebutterflies » Sun Jul 17, 2011 4:27 pm

I agree it's definatly the best medicine :D :D :D

Here's to more good day's :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
Been with my gorgeous man since 16-10-07 :)
Still trying to come to terms with his d/x of FM which was made on 14-07-11
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