fibromyalgia

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fibromyalgia

Postby Coping » Sun Aug 21, 2011 8:49 pm

Well I'm here to try to understand what my mother is going through and thanks for having me. My wife and I both work and my mother is at a nursing home but we might have to bring her home with us. She is not happy there and is giving the nurses a very hard time. I work close enough that I could come home for lunch but she would be spending a lot of time alone. I am not sure what to do here and I just want to make it as easy on her as I can.Is anybody familiar with Minneapolis doctors that specializes in fibromyalgia because I need to get a second opinion.
Last edited by Coping on Wed Aug 31, 2011 1:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: fibromyalgia

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sun Aug 21, 2011 9:42 pm

:welcome: to the forum :wave: I've split your post from the topic you'd attached it to as it's still active and adding your post to it could have caused confusion and made things digress from what the op was asking about. In here, with it being your intro post, you'll probably get more replies than where you'd originally made it.

With FM, it can be very difficult for those who don't have it to fully understand what it's like to be in pain, feel so tired even after sleeping and slow and stiff. It's not just a case of a few aches and pains, it runs a lot lot deeper than that :facepalm: :facepalm: To try and help you know what she's going thru, there are some posts on here that do an excellent job of describing what FM is like. They are called "One For The Non-Believers" "The Spoon Theory" and "Fibromyalgia and Grief" The last one is a very recent addition and helps with explaining the sort of stages we go thru before we finally accept that FM will always be with us. Maybe reading them, letting your mother read them, then asking her how it affects her personally will give you more of an insight into how things are for her :?: :?:

Has your mother only recently become a resident in the nursing home :?: :?: If so, that may be contributing to why she is giving the nurses a rough time, as she may not have settled in yet :dunno: :dunno: Or it could simply be that it isn't the right place for her, and she doesn't like it :dunno: :dunno: Considering her coming to live with you and your wife is a major undertaking which will impact on everyone, with her being on her alone a lot thru the day just one of the things you'll need to consider. Being alone for long periods of time can be equally upsetting as being somewhere that you don't like. The solidarity could have an effect on her psychological well being, what would happen if she as to fall or hurt herself and be unable to do anything to hurt herself :?: :?: She could be alone, in pain, and in a real mess for several hours before someone comes home from work :? :? :?

I know you're wanting to do the best for her, but you also need to take into account how it could affect yourself and your wife. If one or both of you had to be up in the night with your mother, would you be OK not going into work the following day so you can try and catch up on the sleep you missed :?: :?:

If you feel her meds aren't really helping her, then you see about a review or second opinion. However, a lot of things used to try and manage FM can take quite a while to build up and take effect, and some of them come with rather unpleasant side effects that can take a little while to settle down. Putting your mother thru a change of meds to see if there is any improvement could quite easily be cancelled out if getting used to the med makes her feel worse in other ways.

I haven't heard of a nursing home either here in the UK, or where you are in the States that specialises in FM. Sorry I've not really posted anything really positive for you, I'm just trying to be realistic and give you an idea of things that could happen. Ultimately the choices of the available options lay with you, and whatever you choose, it will probably come with it's own additional issues as well :facepalm: :facepalm: Wanting to have your mother live with you is a noble thing as there are many who would just leave their parents in the first care home that would accept them. Unfortunately it's not a roses around the door solution. It will have it's own foibles and affect everyone involved.

Maybe talking with her care team might help with deciding what to do. It could also help them with looking after her, as there could be tiny but important things that the staff are unaware of that could help make being in the nursing home much more pleasant for her, and less worrying for you.
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Re: fibromyalgia

Postby denys » Mon Aug 22, 2011 12:27 am

Hi Coping and :welcome: to the forum, unfortuantly I agree with what Fluppy has written and have to say I dont know of any nursing home that specialises in FM over here and couldnt find anything on the internet regarding your area I would suggest you speaking to your mothers doctor and seeing if they can help you :fingerscrossed: and :goodluck2: :goodluck2: :goodluck2:
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Re: fibromyalgia

Postby shazq » Mon Aug 22, 2011 1:46 pm

:welcome: to the forum coping :wave:
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Re: fibromyalgia

Postby Coping » Mon Aug 22, 2011 11:42 pm

Wow... Thanks for the welcome and the info and it's appreciated.
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