New to FM & New to the forum

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New to FM & New to the forum

Postby silverspoon » Fri Jun 15, 2012 11:24 am

Hi everyone,

I have never posted on a Forum of any kind before, didnt think it was really my thing, but I really need to be in touch with people who 'get' what I'm going through.
A little introduction to my FM situation. I have been very lucky I think, compared to so many people who seem to have suffered with FM for months/years without a diagnosis & having not been taken seriously by health professionals.
I can't say for sure how long I have had FM for, but I started to really notice something wasnt right back at the beginning of February when I was getting chronic headaches - every day, all day, sometimes the only thing i could do was go to bed with the curtains closed but even that didnt get rid of them. After being told they were chronic tension headaches, and given a load of pain killers, which did nothing, and then being told they were migraines, but the painkillers for that didnt work either, I started to develop other symptoms, which i now know are typical of FM. Pains around my joints, in my muscles, urinating every hour or so, dizziness, lack of concentration etc.
A couple of close friends tentatively suggested 'M.E' and I was lucky that at the time I was seeing a GP who was very nearly qualified, and she is very thorough & enthusiastic. I told her that M.E had been mentioned, and from then on, the diagnosis has been straightforward & quick. After my first appointment with a rheumatologist, I was definitely diagnosed.

So where does that leave me? Well, on the 'good' days, I kind of see FM as a's happened for a reason, and it's given me the wake up call (all be it, a bit of a harsh one!!) to change things in my life that really needed to change. It helps me to appreciate what I do have, and to not focus so much on the material things in life ( I worried so much about money, and seemed to hanker after more material 'stuff'). I worry less about the house being clean because I can't do much about it now anyway!!!

On the bad days though, it all goes out the window. Its early days, i know, but I feel so blinkin angry. :evil: You name it, I get angry at it....mostly at everyone else who doesnt have FM!! I feel sorry for myself, everything hurts, and it's like the pain is a constant reminder that I'm not O.K. and that I'm not who I used to be. I'm grieving....that much I know. Grieving for the life I had before I started feeling ill, and grieving for who i used to be. It sometimes feels like that person has disappeared completely.
I'm told I need to 'accept' this. But I dont know where to begin. How do i accept something that one day takes over me, and another day has little impact on my life? It's so up and down, I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster that I cant get off of.
I want the people around me to understand, but I guess like so many experiences in life, unless you've lived it, you can't fully understand it. But it frustrates me that they dont 'get' it. And it leaves me feeling pretty lonely sometimes.
So i guess that is what's brought me here..........sorry about the longwinded intro.......I can't promise they'll get any shorter!

I'd really like to hear from you all, I think it would be comforting to speak to people who can see things from the same perspective. :-D
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Re: New to FM & New to the forum

Postby ChristineMurray » Fri Jun 15, 2012 12:15 pm

Well, on the 'good' days, I kind of see FM as a's happened for a reason, and it's given me the wake up call (all be it, a bit of a harsh one!!) to change things in my life that really needed to change.

I find this too. I have so little energy that I tend to want to put it towards the things I really care about. But on bad days it's hard to hold on to those kind of thoughts.

Welcome from a fellow newbie :)
Winston Churchill: 'If you're going through hell, keep going.'
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Re: New to FM & New to the forum

Postby pugbear » Fri Jun 15, 2012 12:33 pm

WOW Silversoon,
If i was asked to write how FMS impacts on my life, i am 100% postive that i would use the words that you used in your intro!!!
Migraines, pain killers, a"get over-it or a justdeal with-it" attitude from people that do not suffer from it....BUT especially the period of grieving....I am angry at the world some days; however i now focus what energy i have on the important things in life.
some days i appreciate people wanting to help me and other days, i want to shout "LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE, I AM NOT A BLOODY CRIPPLE!!!! but that is just my pride talking, inside i am shouting "yes please, open the door for me, peel the spuds for me, yes, help me up from the chair!!! The think the hard part for me is knowing that this is magic cure or operation, it could get worse, i may have to consider reducing or even leaving the challenging job that i have, i may have to consider a whole new wardrobe, (I love my lace up combat/Timberland style boots, but bending over to lace them up is excruciatinly painful and sometimes my fingers revolt and refuse to work for me)
This forum and all of the amazing people that have posted on here has been so helpful to me and my partner in understanding and building up an awareness of FMS, i visit the forum daily just to read the comments and to keep me sane on a bad day...

Anyway as another newbie to the site, i just wanted to also say welcome and you not alone
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Re: New to FM & New to the forum

Postby shazq » Sat Jun 16, 2012 10:13 pm

:welcome: to the forum silverspoon :wave:
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
Fibromyalgia Awareness Day May 12TH.
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Re: New to FM & New to the forum

Postby silverspoon » Mon Jun 18, 2012 4:28 pm

Thank you so much for your responses, its really uplifting & has brightened my day! As grim as it is that you both face the same challenges, its very comforting too. Hope that makes sense & doesn't sound heartless.
I am also in a challenging job.....have returned to work on a phased return some weeks back & still haven't got anywhere near my normal hours. Work are thankfully being very supportive but I do still find it frustrating. At the moment I know I can't do any more than I'm doing & have to keep repeating 'a day at a time' in my head! The future is too unknown at the moment!
Good luck to you both :-D
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