Hello im new

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Hello im new

Postby littlehoney1983 » Fri Sep 07, 2012 10:38 am

Morning everyone
My name is Sian I'm 28 married to mark and have 2 gorgeous boys Andrew who's 6 and Anthony (Tony) who's 4.
I have been really poorly for about 5 years, I suppose it all started when I was pregnant with Tony I had really bad SPD (Pelvis was to soft) it hurt to walk felt like i was being kicked in the privates all the time, I was on crutch's from week 9 of my pregnancy until the end but for the last 3 months of my pregnancy I couldn't walk for even 5 mins so I was housebound.

I had my 1st of many falls down the stairs when i was pregnant I had Andrew in my arms at the time (He was fine).As soon as I had Tony the pain in my pelvis eased but my back started hurting but I thought nothing of it, the tiredness and sleeping to much also started but I thought it was down to having a newborn and a 2 year old. When tony was a couple of months old I fell down the stairs again and was rushed to hospital with a suspected broken back, they then told me I had badly bruised it but would be ok in a couple of weeks time, well I never did recover from it and ended up bend bound for months (could only walk to the bathroom but that took 20mins).

I was put on tramdol and then they upped the doseage and put me on Gabapentin aswell. I was diagonsed with postnatel depression and normal depression and anxiety, my depression started to get worse and they upped my prozac but it didn't seem to help. Mark lost his job because he had to care for me and the boys and things just seemed to get worse not better. The doctors sent me to physio which didnt help and then to back rehab which only helped a little bit. I was feeling like a complete failure as a person/wife and mother I couldnt care for myself let alone my newborn son and my 2 year old, I felt so bad that I couldnt play with them.

Over the period of the next 3 years I fell down the stairs another 5 times the doctors struggled to find a reason why I was falling down the stairs and why i was sleeping way to much and had no energy and lots of other problems. I was sent for test after test after test. They reffered me to a back doctor at the hospital (cant remeber the name of the department) who just called me fat and said it was muscle.,tendon and nerve damage. A couple of years after seeing him (Jan this year) I got the guts to go to weight watchers, I have lost 2 stone so far but the last month I've fallen off the wagon but today is a fresh start and I will get there and lose more.

I have kept going back and forth to the doctors for years pleading with them to find out whats wrong with me, so they sent me for more tests and reffered me back to the hospital, the hospital doctor said to me well done for losing weight but there was still nothing he could do so back to my normal doctors I went. Things at home were getting worse my depression was getting worse as I still feel failure because I want to be a normal mum and run round after my boys, not stay in bed and sleep lots which is what I keep doing and I can't help it I just can't wake up. My boys say to me mummy needs to rest, mummy can't do that with us, they shouldn''t have to worry about me at their age but they do.

I am ashamed to admit I tried to take the easy way out and took an overdose while mark and the kids were at the park. Things got worse between me and mark as i feel a failure and we started to argue, hes lost 3 jobs in total cause of my health and i feel so guilty its all my fault.

I decided I would see a different doctor in my surgery to see if he could help me get some answers at last. A few people had mentioned MS to me but I had never thought about that before but I have a big family history of MS (13 members on 1 side but they say its not heridatory) I mentioned it to the different doctor and he started writing it down in big letters and circelling it and underlining it, he sent me for yet again more tests and reffered me to a different department at the hospital.

My blood tests came back showing something to do with my imune system levels being way to high and apparently had showed to high on every blood test I had for 5 years but the other doctor hadnt picked up on it. The hospital said to me that I had MS but wanted me to have a MRI to see how bad it was and to go back to them in a month. I finally thought I had some answers, I was devestated to be told that I had MS but i was looking forward to finally getting the help I needed so that life could get back to normal (if you know what I mean) and that I could start treament and fight it.

Well I had my MRI over the school hoildays and I went back to the hospital on Wednesday for my results. I took my mum with me for support an also because my memory has got so bad and I get very confused easily. It was a different doctor I saw this time but in the same department. He started off by saying that the MRI was all clear so it wasnt MS, I said to him well what on earth is it then im so confused and frustrated as i want anwers and i thought i was getting somewhere. I wass crying and he was shocked he didnt know what to do he moved towards me like he was going to hug me but he didnt. He then said well you already know its fibromyalgia as it says in your notes that you have had that for years.

I was shocked and so was my mum as I have never been told this before and when I told the doctor this he was gobsmacked and said I thought you would of known. He then told me that i might have a lot of other problems but to get to the bottom of them I need to see a neurologist so he was referring me to one. He said as for the fibromyalgia i would need to talk to my doctor and that his department didn't need to see me again. I came out of his office shocked,upset,angry and relieved. Reliever that it wasn't MS but angry that I hadn't been told sooner that it was fibromyalgia. I have rang my doctor and got him to ring me back so I could talk to him about the next step as the earliest appointment i could get with him is 5th October. He rang me back in the afternoon and basically said to me that he doesn't know what to do as I can't take anti-inflammatory because of my asthma (causes me to have major asthma attacks) im already on Tramadol, gabapentin and anti-depressants so he doesn't know what else to do to treat me.

He has booked me an appointment for the 17th with another doctor to try and discuss things in more detail about treatment. So I'm left feeling in limbo land still even though I now know what it is I don't know how its going to be treated and when life is going to get a better. All i want to be able to do is spend more time with my boys and hubby rather than spend it in bed as at the moment i have more bad days than good, we went on holiday the other week and i over did it and its taken me over a week to recover.

Sorry about the long post but wanted to try and fit it all in but my mind isn't what it used to be so I've most probably left bits out.
As for today well I'm feeling very very tired and keep nodding off while typing this, its also Tony's first day at school so feeling emotional (hes only in till 12 today).
Last edited by FluppyPuffy on Fri Sep 07, 2012 11:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Split into small paragraphs for easier reading.
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Re: Hello im new

Postby FluppyPuffy » Fri Sep 07, 2012 12:52 pm

:welcome: to the forum Sian :wave: :wave: I've split your post into small paragraphs as a number of members on here struggle with reading large blocks of text.

This is my 3rd attempt to say Hello to you, my previous attempts have all floated off into the void, either that or the Gremlins are pinching my posts again :facepalm: :facepalm:

Sadly your story about taking so long to get a dx is all too common :( :( Now you've found us tho, hopefully things will start to seem a little lighter and brighter for you :fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed: There is a lot of info and advice on here, so have a look and a read around, you may come across some things that could help you.

I don't think attempting suicide is an easy way out. To find yourself in the situation where this seems to be the only answer to problems means you must have gone thru some very desperate times. It's good that you're still with us :squirrel_nut: :bear-dancing: :penguin:

Meds and treatments wise, there are a number of things that can help with FM. This linky tells you about some of the meds used http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Fibromyalg ... tment.aspx Altho the ones that you've mentioned are used to try and manage FM, there are others that can be added to your cocktail, so see what your GP has to say about them. Treatments wise, things like physio, hydrotherapy and acupuncture can help, so ask your GP what is available in your area. A number of areas also have Pain Clinics, which literally just deal with pain and it's management, so that might be another option to enquire about. Counselling/talking therapies can also be of help, from helping you accept that FM is now a part of your life to helping devise strategies to live more effectively with FM.

I'm sure there's much more I should be adding to this, but the fog comes rolling in at the most inconvenient times :facepalm: :facepalm: Anything that you want to know about, just ask and we'll try to help you with it :wave: :wave: :wave:
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.

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Re: Hello im new

Postby denys » Fri Sep 07, 2012 7:35 pm

Hi Sian sounds like you have been through the mill, but unfortuantely your story isnt unique there are loads of people on here that can talk to you and hopefully help you through this difficult time so :welcome: to the forum :wave:

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