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The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - Older sufferers



Older sufferers

Introduce yourself and find fellow sufferers in your area or who share the same interests.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

Older sufferers

Postby Izzy44 » Sat Jan 12, 2013 12:25 pm

I live alone with my spaniel Benjie and I am 69 in Feb. and was diagnosed with fibro about 11 yrs ago after suffering several auto immune conditions through my life, discoid lupus since 18 and sarcoidosis when I was in my 50s and this attacked my lungs. I am finding now that the attitude is getting to be 'what can you expect at your age' syndrome. I do everything to keep myself fit (within my limited ability) and keep my life style interesting. However, I am getting concerned that older people are often being shrugged off.
I would like to hear the experiences of others who are older and if they find this same attitude. I belong to a support group where most are younger than me and I really feel for the younger ones struggling to work and bring up families. So I hope I don't sound too selfish or self centred but I do feel older people are being overlooked.
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Re: Older sufferers

Postby maxtomads » Sat Jan 12, 2013 1:58 pm

Hi Izzy & welcome. I'm 52 and diagnosed last year after a long history - typical story really. I'm lucky as I still manage to work part time, and have an excellent counsellor who is helping me to change my perception of the pain, fatigue etc so I can reach acceptance & learn to live with it. My gp has been brilliant from the start, discussing all my options & allowing me to find my own way through this with his support.
My next door neighbour has very recently been diagnosed aged 72. She's always been fit as a flea, very active & outgoing. She has the same gp. She was handed a prescription for a bucketload of meds & told to go home & not do anything that aggravated it!
We obviously chat about things, & I suggested she went back to the gp & asked in a non-confrontational way about what all the options were, & then be helped to decide what route she might like to try in order to learn to manage her symptoms. She did this, same gp, and how different. He apologised unreservedly for not doing that in the first place, saying that he assumed that at her age she would just want to stop the pain with meds. He said she had taught him a valuable lesson & would not make that ageist mistake again.
It does go to show that age can influence how people treat you...

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Re: Older sufferers

Postby denys » Sat Jan 12, 2013 8:14 pm

Hi Izzy and :welcome: to the forum :wave: I'm 52 as well I definitely think there is a point were age becomes an issue and the medical profession become less keen to try new ideas. Max's neighbour being a prime example but hopefully with a bit of straight talking they can be persuaded to try :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Denys

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Re: Older sufferers

Postby shazq » Sat Jan 12, 2013 8:16 pm

:welcome: to the forum Izzy :wave:
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
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Re: Older sufferers

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sat Jan 12, 2013 10:18 pm

:welcome: to the forum Izzy :wave: :wave:

Not much I can add to what has been said as I'm not quite as old you, so haven't experienced being shrugged off just yet. I have come across some people who are dismissive of the condition tho, as well as those who have tried to patronise me at times. In such circumstances I've also found that using a similar approach to what maxtomads suggested to her neighbour tends to be quite effective. It can be quite daunting at first, esp if it's not the way you're used to dealing with things, but it does get easier each time you try.

What sort of spaniel is Benjie?? I'm owned by a springie girlie and I wouldn't be without her as she's funny company for me on the days when my OH is working and my teenager is at school :dogrun1:


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Re: Older sufferers

Postby Izzy44 » Sat Jan 12, 2013 10:54 pm

Thanks for the suggestions. I guess I never want to keep the doctor long, don't tend to visit that often. I get the impression he/she is always behind, short of time. Money, cost of things has been mentioned on more than one occasion. When I asked for physio when my back gave out as well, I was told the waiting list would be too long, I insisted politely and was in within a week and it was great.
I could see someone without the support of friends etc. could become very depressed over such a situation.
Having been a special needs co-ordinator and teacher, I am (was) use to dealing with delicate situations and knew not to be patronising and dislike that when it happens to me. I am a good listener (apparently) but obviously not so good at putting my own concerns across.
My spaniel is a cocker, he is just over 3 yrs and is a wonderful help. He empties the washing machine, he collects the post for me and picks up anything I drop - usually now without being asked. These are just of a few things he has learned to help me. I have a Home group here from church and a few of the ladies are older than me and quite delicate and he is wonderful with them. He has a very good nose on him too!!
When the Spring comes, I intend to train him to go up the steps to peg the washing out - or do you think that may be a paw too far???
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Re: Older sufferers

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sat Jan 12, 2013 11:09 pm

I think your Benjie needs to come and show my DeeDee how to do a few things, he sounds a very special, clever boy :blowkiss: :blowkiss: DeeDee's version of collecting the post is to try and eat it :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: She bonkers in a completely different way to most springies and I wouldn't have her any other way, eaten letters and all :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss:


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Re: Older sufferers

Postby millymoodoo » Sun Jan 13, 2013 1:19 pm

Hi izzy

I think it is bad that once you get to a certain age dr's can be dismissive of your problems it really shouldnt matter what age you are as pain is pain and it hurts no matter how old you are. I am 48 and to date my gp and consultant have been really good with me and trying different treatments but i know i am fortunate. I know what you mean though about them always being in a rush and you are concious if they are running behind. I always take a list with me but i only ever put the 3 most important issues that i have at the request of my gp and i book a double appointment and i always am able to discuss these issues. When i go in i give my list to my gp and she works through my problems. I never used to go to see my gp very often but when i did go there was a lot to discuss, so my gp said all my issues are important and need dealing with but she cant possibly go through all my problems in a 10 minute appointment. My gp asked me to see her more often with maximum 3 problems each time and book a double appointment. This has worked really well, i think my problem was i dont like taking up their time and using an appointment for something small so i tollerated until it was really necessary to see the dr and by this time there were more problems than could be dealt with. Just a thought it might work for you as i know i dont feel guilty at taking their time anymore.

Its lovely that you have such a special dog who helps with things, they are so receptive of our moods and needs. I have a special rescue dog called Milly who has taught herself to do things and i love her very much, in fact i dont know how i would cope without her. Milly wont bring the post as she had an experience where by someone put a telephone directory through my letterbox and Milly was asleep under it and it fell and clonked her on the head which made her jump. Although it wasnt the post lady who did it Milly thinks that anyone who puts anything through the letterbox is the person responsible for dropping the book on her head so she goes absoloutly mad at them barking and she continues until they are out of sight. Now she doesnt go anywhere near the letterbox but at least i am allerted when my post arrives which is helpful!!!! One of the main things that Milly does is howl if i fall or am unwell until help comes, my neighbours are fully aware of Milly's distress call and will get help just by Milly's howl. I am also diabetic and my blood sugars are all over the place and often drops without warning but if this happens Milly licks me so roughly that it allerts me to check my blood sugars and every single time it has dropped to a dangerous level without any symptoms!!!

Sending you :hugs:
Milly xxx :-)
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Re: Older sufferers

Postby jennib54 » Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:39 pm

:-) Hi' Izzy I know what you mean about the ageist thing. my gp thinks i've got MS. He told me that it was to much hassle to find out(them were his exact words).I had to see him a couple of weeks ago to have my meds reveiwed and he did'nt mention anything b ut i'm going to see him when the snow goes or at least stops .I've been looking o the internet about MS as i have all the symptoms associated with it.hopefully he will tell me one way or another.
Take care :-)
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Re: hi izzie, older sufferers

Postby Jules Robin » Thu Jan 31, 2013 2:10 pm

I'm new to the forum and I've been feeling my way round the various sites. Came across the older sufferers section and interested to read of your experiences with GPS; attitude and the like. Since I was finally diagnosed in 2007 I have had mixed reactions from the medical profession; not so much disinterest, rather a lack of awareness re the condition and its devastating effects on the lives of sufferers whether young or elderly. I'm 66 and have a marvelous partner, also with fibro ( tho less affected thankgoodness) who is happy to accompany me on gp visits to make sure we are heard and to clarify anything we feel unsure of. As I also have anxiety and panick attacks, especially when an appt is imminent I tend to forget what I want say.To have someone with me makes such a difference.Had a visit from Social Care Services this am and the young woman was extremely sensitive to my condition and needs and showed real empathy. She assessed my needs generally and is organizing grab rails to be fitted. She also came with a list of luncheon clubs in and around the area I live as I feel very desperate for company when my partner is at work. So, hopefully I can find one or more that I can try out. Big gentle hug for you and your special dog. What an amazing companion Benjie is. Take care. Jules Robin
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Re: Older sufferers

Postby Izzy44 » Thu Jan 31, 2013 8:57 pm

Thanks again to everyone replying. I shall be returning to the doctor again in the next week or so but I sometimes think that the information and ideas we get from other sufferers is better in many ways. I do not expect miracle cures or special treatment - just to be treated with respect and taken seriously. I shall see how things progress in the future and report back.
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Re: Older sufferers

Postby cowsrock » Fri Feb 01, 2013 4:01 pm

Hi

Im 49, 50 this year.

I have had fm since 2003 :( and would like to chat to people in my area of Andover Hants, :-) but will chat to anyone with fm as you all understand here.

Regards

Cowsrock :-D
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Re: Older sufferers

Postby penfriend » Fri Feb 01, 2013 8:01 pm

dear young oldies, I think I must be the oldest at 79 - and have had the privilege of being a sufferer of M.E. and Fibro, most of my life, and now carpal tunnel. My own doctor died almost a year ago so apart from seeing one lady doctor in for a day, have not really got to grips with anything much, as just been too ill to get out of bed but am hoping to see another doctor in the near future. I think she has not been at the practice long, and is probably only doing a couple of days a week, but certainly as she came today to see my husband/carer, ill with a chest infection, she is the one which I know I could talk to and she would help, I am sure. She was so sweet, she was a blessing.

Things certainly do not get easier as one gets older, and I am totally dependant upon my husband so when he is ill, I am absolutely useless.

However, there has been today a 25% reduction in all my pain, including my hands today, because I took a 300 aspirin, 200 paracetemol with 45 caffeine, which gives me the best days, so have managed to make up a strawberry build up and even have some rice krispies for dinner!
Such a shame that one cannot take these regularly but I would not do so because of the stomach situation particularly with aspirin, having other problems.

For those who can take the smell of menthol, I can so recommend Biofreeze, to rub on the painful areas, it is the best I know but rather expensive. I only wish I could repeat it, but my eyes are far too sensitive to take it.

it certainly is taking one day at a time, and not looking to tomorrow. Kind regards to you all. penfriend
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Re: Older sufferers

Postby GeeJay » Fri Feb 22, 2013 10:32 pm

Hi :wave:
I think it depends on the dr (or what mood he/she is in), when I was younger the drs said "you can't be feeling that tired at your age" :nono: , now I'm 53 the drs said it was general wear and tear and I should expect that at my age :roll: . I only just got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Arthritis last week.
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Re: Older sufferers

Postby sweetie pie » Mon Mar 25, 2013 7:57 pm

Agree it shouldnt matter what age we all are,what ever the illness Everyone should be treated the same with care and respect,im 51 gosh had 2 think there for a minute 2 much fog in my head 2day :yikes: and thats @ 51 :-) xox
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