hello to you all

Introduce yourself and find fellow sufferers in your area or who share the same interests.

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hello to you all

Postby florrie » Tue Mar 12, 2013 10:31 pm

I have been a regular visitor to this site for sometime and have now decided to join you. I still do not have a definite diagnosis of fibromyalgia as the specialists I have seen seem reluctant to commit themselves to saying "yes that's what you have"! I have had numerous blood tests and xrays relating to the generalised body pains I have, all results keep coming back as normal, which is good generally but does not give me the answer I want, I said to the rheumatologist 2 weeks ago that I would be able to accept the way I feel if only someone would tell me what is wrong! I know FM is difficult to diagnose but the daily pain and muzzy headed confusion is also difficult to deal with.

The rheumatologist said it could be psychosomatic pain! I have been a nursing sister for 27 years, I know the difference between this pain and physical pain, and am sure you will all agree that the pain is very real and not all in my head!!! I think he came to this conclusion as he didn't seem to want to help me or offer any diagnosis and was reflecting on the fact that 3 years ago I had a severe nervous breakdown, severe anxiety and panic.

I went back to nursing after 4 months leave but struggled so much to continue that I sunk deeper and deeper into a black pit of anxiety and panic, despite having a very loving supportive family my symptoms did not ease, I did not know how to get out of the pit I was in, tried all sorts of medication, CBT and paid hundreds of pounds on private counselling/therapy, nothing seemed to work.

I became desperate, in June 2011 I wrote letters to all my family, gathered up approx 100 diazepam, I had been prescribed them but they made no difference, waited for my husband to pop up town and took the lot, then had a panic attack that they wouldn't work so I sat in the bath and slit my wrists, my husband found me semi-conscious in the bath 3 hours later, as you can tell by me writing this that I have lived to tell the tale!!

With my husband and son's support I got through it, will never probably get over it or forget how it felt in that black pit but with massive help from the mental health team and getting on medication that suits me at last I am glad now that it didn't work, and NEVER want to feel like that again, I gave up work, handed in my uniform and cancelled my registration to nurse. I am now a housewife aged 46yrs, very happy not to be working and love my husband and 25yr old son dearly.

But I have found that every other ailment that comes along is blamed on my mental health history and is probably psychological! But the daily pain, stiffness, foggy confusion, fatigue and insomnia are not symptoms that are easily imagined!! I just wish there was a definite test to prove what was wrong!

Sorry for going on and on! but I must say it feels good to be able to tell others how i have felt over the years, at times I feel so alone with these symptoms and of course because you look ok nobody knows just how you feel.
I am looking forward to chatting again sometime with any of you out there! As they say it's good to talk!!!

kind regards

Florrie xxxxxxxxxxxx
Last edited by FluppyPuffy on Tue Mar 12, 2013 11:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Split into smaller and clearer paragraphs for easier reading.
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Re: hello to you all

Postby FluppyPuffy » Wed Mar 13, 2013 12:18 am

:welcome: to our little sanctuary florrie :cow-wave: :cow-wave: :cow-wave:

I've split your post up into smaller, clearer paragraphs to make it a bit easier to read as quite a few of us on here find reading large blocks of text difficult.

I had a rather blurry screen reading what you were driven to and what it almost led to :cry: :cry: :cry: From my own experiences, it does stay with you, esp the feeling in the pit, but each step you take on your way out of there makes it that little bit easier to manage until you get to the point where things start to feel that bit lighter and brighter.

Sadly, what you've found in trying to get some answers as to the cause of your pain and things is something that far too many others have and still are experiencing in trying to get a dx.

Don't worry about going on, it's something that most of us do at some point, and now you've found us, you're definitely in good company :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing:

Wherever anyone is along their journey, be it pre~dx or having lived with the condition for a number of years, we try to offer them the support and understanding we have for each other on here. There is also loads of info and advice and people's experiences which can be helpful along the way. We also try to throw in a little light relief along the way to help with getting thru the Fibroday

Anything you want to know about, don't be afraid to ask. It doesn't usually take long for someone to :penguin: :penguin: :penguin: :penguin: :penguin: along with a reply :cow-wave: :cow-wave: :cow-wave: :cow-wave: :cow-wave:
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Re: hello to you all

Postby Flaw » Wed Mar 13, 2013 1:22 am

Hi florid, welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry to hear about your story but am very glad you're here to tell it. Here's hoping you get a diagnosis soon as it is definitely not in your head.
The majority of us seem to battle with our demons every day and parts of my own story are similar to yours. I find the forum really helps me feel less like a crazy outsider and more a part of a team of little warriors battling on.

Looking forward to hearing more from you and you're sure to find tons of advice and support from here, I know I have.

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Re: hello to you all

Postby moomoos » Wed Mar 13, 2013 4:26 am

Hi Florrie, thats a very interesting post, very thought provoking. Welcome as well :-)

I'v been in that pit you talk about as far as the breakdown, severe anxiety and panic are concerned. Someone wanted to do away with me two and a half years previous to my breakdown and the breakdown was as a result of that. That was 10 years ago. I was in absolute terror with the panic attacks and anxiety, so much so that I couldnt step outside the house I was living in, even to go onto the doorstep outside or into the garden. I was absolutely terrified to. For those two and a half years previous to the breakdown I had been running and I broke down the minute I was able to relax for a minute. I had more running to do during the breakdown too and its been a very long and incredibly hard road to get to where I am now. I too have tried loads of things to help with the anxiety..... 3 anxiety management courses, CBT, counselling. My medication helped no end once it kicked in. Since then I have found meditation and Bach Flower Remedies a real help.

Your story brought back to me how it used to be. I have clawed my way back up to where I am now. Things arent perfect as far as the anxiety and panic are concerned, but they are a million miles away from where I was back then, and like you I NEVER want to go back there.

I think we should be very proud of where we are today. I know its taken me a huge amount of hard work, and never giving up no matter what has been thrown at me.

I know where you are coming from about things being blamed on your anxiety. I too have been told everything I'v been to the GP about has been down to my anxiety. This FM so reminds me of it. Everything is said to be part of it. Maybe it is??? How do we know for sure on some things?? As you say....people cant tell by looking at us that we are ill, just like with the mental health!!!!!

Sorry for wittering on

Thank you for sharing your story with us. You have made me realise we are just so strong, thank you. Take good care xx
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Re: hello to you all

Postby florrie » Wed Mar 13, 2013 2:34 pm

Thank you for replying, it really helps to know that there are people out there who have or still are feeling like I have. None of my family or friends have been through anything like this so I don't really have anyone to talk to about it.

We moved to Essex from Northamptonshire 18 months ago with my husband's work, he's a Church Of England Priest so I get loads of support from him and enjoy helping him with church life now that I don't work. The move was the best thing we ever did as I have no reminders here of my bad time.

I would welcome replies from anyone who has been through a similar episode in their life, and I send my best wishes to keep strong!

Love Florrie xx
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Re: hello to you all

Postby *Lisa* » Wed Mar 13, 2013 5:34 pm

This may help with a diagnoses if you have not tried the path...

If you see a physiotherapist/chiropractor/oesteopath they can asses you and see if they feel fibro is present. If so they can write to your GP with there findings and you go from there. Just a thought :?:
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Re: hello to you all

Postby shazq » Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:17 pm

:welcome: to the forum florrie :wave:
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Re: hello to you all

Postby denys » Fri Mar 15, 2013 12:43 am

:welcome: to the forum :wave: we are glad the attempt didnt work as well and are glad to have you with us :-D :-D :-D

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Re: hello to you all

Postby florrie » Tue Mar 19, 2013 11:21 pm

Am off to see a different GP on Thursday, mine is on maternity leave, I'm hoping for some answers, don't know whether I'll get any but perhaps seeing someone different might not be a bad thing. :-?

I wouldn't mind seeing a neurologist too, I get dreadful pins and needles in my hands and feet and at times my whole body feels tingly as if my skin is crawling, which is worse if my pains are bad or if I'm really tired. :sleep:

Thank you Moomoos for your reply and am sorry that you too have been through a bad time, even though the years roll on you never quite get over an episode like that in your life, I talk to my Husband about it at times and now I'm better I feel dreadful for putting him through that, but he reasures me all the time and says that it was beyond my control, I was ill.

Thank you Flaw for your reply, you're right about fighting our demons everyday, I often call it "The Enemy within"!!

Fortunately I have a good sense of humour and I love a good laugh so when my brain is in "fog mode" and I can't seem to say what I want to say I now just laugh at myself, it's better than getting upset and frustrated! :crazy:

Do any of you have problems getting up when you've been sitting for while? My legs go so stiff and are so painful when I then stand, it takes me a few seconds to then start walking. I feel like a 90yr old crippled with arthritis, even though I'm 46. :!:

Will post another up-date after I've seen this other GP.

Night night all, lets hope we all sleep well tonight!!!! ;-)
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