I don't want sympathy.....I just need understanding.

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I don't want sympathy.....I just need understanding.

Postby degsy » Tue Dec 17, 2013 1:16 pm

Hi fellow FM sufferers. I am a newbie to this site and want to explain what I am feeling. I am a male and am 65 next week. My FM came as a result of serving in gulf war 1 and has been admitted by the MOD. Over the years it has got progressivly worse, to such an extent that now I am being tested for MS. My Neurologist doesn't think it is but wants to carry out the tests if just to rule it out.

Having read some of the forums, I can identify alot of what I am going through. As a male, I find it particulally hard to accept that I now have limitations. I used to be very active and now struggle to do the most basic things. (My arms are hurting like hell just typing this) To look at me, you would think there is nothing wrong and that lead to the breakdown of my marriage, but thats another story.

I feel the lack of understanding from my family amd find it hard to explain to them what I am going through. I have been using a stick and a walker. I have a little Westie who loves going for his walks, but now, even just a short distance is agony. To this extent, I have now got an electric wheelchair which enables me to take him on great long walks without all the pain of doing it. My son has said, once you get into a wheelchair, you never get out of it. But he is so wrong. I still take jack by walking even though it is painfull, but I feel the need to keep going as much as possible. I am not ready to give up totally just yet.

I wish I could get people to try and understand what is happening to me, I do find it difficule to talk about as I feel my "Manly" image has been shattered and I feel little self worth.

I am writing on here because, maybe like minded people read and can understand me a little.
Last edited by FluppyPuffy on Tue Dec 17, 2013 5:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Made paragraphs smaller and clearer for easier reading.
degsy
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Re: I don't want sympathy.....I just need understanding.

Postby denys » Tue Dec 17, 2013 5:02 pm

Hi Degsy, we have quite a few men on here who will understand what you are going through, not that we women dont but from what other men have said it is this 'manly' idea that its a 'womans' condition.

Fact is it is now acknowledged that a lot of men suffer too and some of them quite badly, its being diagnosed in younger and younger people which I think is quite sad just how many are suffering with it.

I hope you get the support and help that you need, we always try our best, if you have any specific questions then just ask away, the search facility at the top of the page is also quite useful as lots of stuff has been asked before and it can give you some valuable tips :-D :-D :-D
Denys

As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
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Re: I don't want sympathy.....I just need understanding.

Postby FluppyPuffy » Tue Dec 17, 2013 5:42 pm

:cow-wave: :cow-wave: Degsy and :welcome: to our FibroFamily :cow-wave: :cow-wave:

When FM gets its hold on us and turns everything we knew as life on it's head, it is difficult to accept how things, and we as people, change. Like you, pre~FM, a good number of us were active and busy, but now find ourselves struggling with the simplest things at time, so you're in good company on here, both male and female.

For trying to explain what life can be like with FM, you might want to have a look at One To Show The Non~Believers and The Spoon Theory. They both do a really good job of explaining what it is like to live with something like FM, and others have printed them up to give to people to read.

Your attitude of not being ready to give in to things yet is a good one to have :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing: And using your wheelchair as an aid so you can go further afield with your furry friend, whilst trying to keep yourself physically active and walking whenever possible sounds a sensible approach. Rather than getting in the chair and not getting out of it again, it sounds like you're adapting and changing to make the best of your situation for both you and Jack.

Hopefully, with joining us, and finding some fellow male FMers to bounce thoughts and ideas around with, you'll start to find some of those shattered pieces from your "manly" image and start to reconstruct it, along with finding that a little of your self worth starts to grow again.
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.

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Re: I don't want sympathy.....I just need understanding.

Postby degsy » Tue Dec 17, 2013 6:26 pm

Thanks Denys and Fluppyfuffy, comments taken on board
degsy
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