New to group and feeling like a burden

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New to group and feeling like a burden

Postby Angie376 » Thu Apr 10, 2014 7:22 pm

Hi everyone. I have been to the doctors today and told that i should try and use these forums. I was diagnosed with fibro in sept last year after having pain since in my teens. As I also have joint hypermobility my old Dr use to just blame the everything on that. Anyway recently my depression has got worse and hit an all time low this week, and now I seem to be stuck in a dark place. I have two wonderful kids but that upsets me as I feel like I am failing them as I can't do what I want to with them due to pain or mobility problems. I do have a wonderful partner but I hate talking to people about my problems and how I am feeling as I feel like I am being a burden.

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Re: New to group and feeling like a burden

Postby jezebellow » Thu Apr 10, 2014 7:50 pm

Hello Angie, I'm sorry to hear about the way you are feeling at the moment. Have you spoken to your doctor about your low mood? Chemical imbalance is common in FM and it may be that you need something to boost your mood. Don't fight it! When I get low mood days I write a gratitude list of all the people and things in my life and then watch Pollyanna. :-? I focus on the good things and people in my life. That isn't to say that I shouldn't be feeling what I'm feeling. Situations can be s**t sometimes and it appropriate to feel and acknowledge that. But, please go and explore your options such as talking therapies or medication if appropriate with your doctor. I hope that you will be seeing some light at the end of the tunnel. :idea:
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Re: New to group and feeling like a burden

Postby Angie376 » Thu Apr 10, 2014 7:56 pm

Thanks for your reply jezebellow. I am already on 40mg of prozac, talked to Dr today and she is going to refer me to the local mental health team. I have been through therapy before and tried CBT but I am to chat to them and see if they can help.

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Re: New to group and feeling like a burden

Postby Garyl » Thu Apr 10, 2014 7:57 pm

Angie

1 you are not a burden
2 we fellow suffers feel the same at times
3 let us help if we can

I am one of the minority a male sufferer and i feel at times there's no where to go reading the forums helps me and a few friends i do have understand what i am suffering.

Join in and share if we can help we will
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Re: New to group and feeling like a burden

Postby HelenN » Thu Apr 10, 2014 8:44 pm

It depends how long you been on your medication for depression as some medications at first increase of a dosage can make your anxiety worse. If that not the case you been on it a while. Maybe you medication need reviewing. As for therapy I would ask of psychotherapy as this is more of talking therapy and will allow you to unload in a safe environment. I hope you feel better in yourself soon. Helen
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Re: New to group and feeling like a burden

Postby Denbev » Thu Apr 10, 2014 9:00 pm

hi Angie keep going there is always light at the end of the tunnel,i too have really bad bouts of when im really down+unhappy+cannot cope anymore with pain but then i have a good spell+then im happy again+cannot understand how i can get so low+why? like you i have a wonderful understanding partner+2 wonderful kids,so focus on them to keep on fighting+keep you going,things can only get better,ive just started on juice plus+its helped my energy levels tremendously, keep strong hun :-D :-D :-D
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Re: New to group and feeling like a burden

Postby denys » Fri Apr 11, 2014 12:07 am

Hi and :welcome: to the forum, dont worry the majority of us have been where you are now and hopefully we can help you out of that dark place and into somewhere more cosy and secure.

There is loads of information on here, so look around, but if you need to ask a specific question then ask away and we will do our best to help find some answers :-D :-D :-D
Denys

As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
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Re: New to group and feeling like a burden

Postby lyncampers » Fri Apr 11, 2014 8:02 am

Hi Angie,

It sounds very VERY similar to my situation, including the use and dosage of medication. I have a wonderfully supportive husband, and blessed with 2 wonderful children - 6 and 4, who both understand that "mommy hurts sometimes". They are all wonderful and yet I too sometimes feel like a burden, and therefore don't like to talk about it.

However I thought it might be useful to share my husband's perspective. He says that:

a) I'm not a burden. He wouldn't do the things he does if he didn't love and care about me; and
b) He gets frustrated and upset when I feel like a burden, because he (and the kids) are trying to help, and feels like it's HIM / THEM making me feel bad - all they want to do is help so let them, it's their way of showing they care; and
c) I'd do exactly the same, if he was ill and I looked after him - I'd do it out of love, care and compassion. They're no different.

I understand that it's difficult sometimes to see through the emotional pain that physical pain can cause, especially when you want to feel useful and productive, but I tend to think of it as simply a chemical imbalance, not unlike people with diabetes, who have issues with insulin - ours is just seratonin. They can't eat an abundance of chocolate; we sometimes feel irrationally low.

Keeping this in mind helps me re-focus, and come to terms with my situation. Then, I work out how I can work around it - just like you would any other disability.

Hope this helps, and all the best :lol:
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Re: New to group and feeling like a burden

Postby topcatt72 » Fri Apr 11, 2014 11:56 am

Hi
just to let you know you are not a burden on anyone...... we are all here to help you in everyway possible.....so your never alone as we on this forum can understand and relate to you and your problems with getting through life.....
we many people with fibro are family and we look after our own.....
so remember your not a burden and deff not alone... :-) :-) :-)
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Re: New to group and feeling like a burden

Postby Angie376 » Fri Apr 11, 2014 1:32 pm

Thank you guys your support and kind words mean a lot. I am feeling a bit better today trying to stay focused on my kids. My 11month is using anything to play peek a boo with, and has such a wide smile while he is doing it I can't help but smile. X

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Re: New to group and feeling like a burden

Postby painprincess1 » Mon Apr 14, 2014 12:35 pm

Hi, don't worry this site is for ppl who got no one or ppl to have a moan or just to chat to someone who understands you.
I have 3teens and a 22monthnold. And a puppy lol.yes it kills me but I'm dammed if it's taking all life's joys.i do find the more I move the better I feel.resting just makes me stiff.being a kind loving mother who Feds and washes her childern is better then someone who's fit and couldn't care less about her family.you Clearly do love your kids or you would t be upset about it.dont beat yourself up do what you can when you can it's all u can ask for yourself xxx
smiles and the world smiles with you. cry and you cry alone.
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