This is me!

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This is me!

Postby TNK* » Thu Sep 11, 2014 11:29 am

Well ive been here a while now so thought i should introduce myself

My name is Joanne/Jo and i am 43yrs old, i am married with 4 children DS1 is nearly 22, DD1 is 19, DS2 is 16 and DD2 is 11.
I was married before and my ex is the biological father of the eldest 3 (and that is pretty much where his part ends, he makes token efforts but nowt special, he and DD1 have no relationship at all, its a long boring story, so wont burden you with it)

My hubby and i are coming up to our 10th wedding anniversary and we are very very happy, despite life throwing us a curve ball once in a while, he has been my rock through my illnesses and aches and pains.

as a child life was pretty normal until i was 9 and me and my sister lost my mum, my sister was 6 and doesnt really have many memories of her, but me being older i remember quite a lot and was also around her the day she dies, that is one of my most vivid memories as a chile.
Poor dad was at a loss, he turned quite heavily to drink, and we neded up moving out of our family home and into a council flat....dont get me wrong, it wasnt a dump, it was in a lovely area and although we were not well off financially, we were fed, watered and had clean clothes.

we had grandparents, my maternal grandparents were still alive, and this grandmother did as much as she could for us, we went on holidays with them, and stayed over most weekends, unfortunately the grandfather had ulterior motives for 2 little girls being around, and im sure you can guess what they were without me spelling it out to you.

My dads mum was a cow, she made out she was all lovey dovey, but i used to get the brunt of her nastiness, i was called lazy, fat, ugly and wouldnt amount to anything (all because i wouldnt get up and make dad breakfast in bed, or do the cooking or ironing etc...yes and this was still at 9-10 months after id lost my mum). 10 years after losing my mum, my uncle (her brother) also passed away, this was the start of a chain of links being lost to my mum. her other brother, passes away about 2 years before i lost my dad.

So anyhoo, i grew up a bit, had a short relationship, which ended after 4 months, a few weeks later i was taken to hospital after collapsing at work, I found out I was about 4 months pregnant, and didnt even know it, i was still taking the pill and was having a little bleed each month so it didnt even occur to me, I had only known about the baby for less than a week, and then i went into labour, I had a baby girl at approx 22 weeks pregnant, unfortnately back then, babies of that gestation just didnt survive and she was wrapped up and given to me sleeping, i held her for a few minutes until she actually passed away....she would have been 24 last month.

I met my ex and fell pregnant just before my 21st birthday with DS1, followed by DD1, we married and had DS2...got to our 2nd anniversary and it all went down hill.

I met my hubby at work and we have been together ever since, 14 years now and all good.

Just before i got pregnant with DD2 i lost my mums mum, i was devastated (9 months earlier, the grandad dies, but that was no biggie, i went to the funeral, just so i could watch the coffin wheel off to burn sending him into hell)
I used to love the stories nan used to tell me about mum, even if she had repeated them time and time again, i never got bored.

Me and hubby married Christmas 2004, and we honeymooned in Florida Disney in the following march, we are now hooked on the place and have been 3 times, we are waiting to go again Christmas 2015!

In 2003, i started college to gain a levels, so i could apply to uni to study Midwifery, which i then went on to uni in 2007, i loved it, i had found my calling, Uni work was a struggle with 4 children, but we managed it and all seemed to be fitting into place.
Sadly on may 2009, we lost my Dad, it was quite sudden, he was poorly in hospital, but prognosis was good and we were told he was on the mend, then 2 days later he passed away, it was such a shock, dad had been the happiest he had been in years, he had moved out of the council flat and into a sheltered bungalow, which he loved, he had fabulous neighbours and was just over the moon. it seem so unfair that he was to go just 18 months after moving.
So, i ended up taking time out of uni as i didnt deal with it very well, i ended up on antiDs and seeing counsellors, i did go back to uni and joined the cohort below my original one, which was daunting at first, but they ended up quite lovely. however the black dog kept following me around and 6 months before i was due to qualify, i ended up stepping off the course and saying goodbye to my midwifery career.
Some people say it was a waste but i think i would have ended up in hospital if i didnt take that step off!

So that was all 5 years ago, and my kids are growing up to be wonderful human beings, DS1 is a manager in a restaurant, DD2 wokrs in a shop at the minute, but she is an Army WAG, so is happy to not have anything to keep her rooted at the minute as he fiance has just returned from Afghan after a 7 months tour, he is posted in Germany but sometime next yr he will be back here and she will be following him. DS2 has just started an engineering course at College and DD2 has just started high school.
I am working in a restaurant and love my job, it can be a bit of a P.I.T.A. at times, but im good at what i do and i do enjoy it....although i do suffer for it the day after a shift, but im not one for sitting still even if im in pain, my motto is "use it or lose it" and if i sit on my behind feeling sorry for myself then im going to lose the use of my limbs and my brain.

I do a little bit of cake decorating on the side, more as a hobby for friends and family, but occasionally i will do a commissioned one and i can get a fair bit of ££. Im about to start one for an 18th birthday next week.

My aches and pains started not long after i had DD2, i was DX with bursitis and sacroilliitis, ive had surgery on my knee which ended up being found to be arthritis, I have ectopic heartbeats and mitral valve reflux, i have had restless legs since being a teenager and insomnia for about the same length of time.

I never used to go the the GP with my problems growing up as i just assumed it was all normal and this is what everyone went through, and it was only after having DD2 i started going to see my GP, I think over the years everything i have been to her with has been adding up in her head and she Dx me with FM in March this yr! Ive got a bit of CFS thrown in for good measure. Im currently off work sick after an op, im looking forward to going back but will be on light duties.

Right ive babbled on enough, not sure if ive mentioned everything, but ive got the important bits out the way.

How im not in the nut house I will never know.
A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes When You're Fast Asleep ºOº


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Re: This is me!

Postby Helhit » Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:14 pm

Hi Jo

I've just read your story. My goodness you've been through a tough time.

But I tell you what , you're definitely a fighter - good on ya!!!

Keep that spirit up.

Helen :-D
Fibro is like the wind. You can't see it and when it flares up it knocks you off your feet!
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Re: This is me!

Postby FluppyPuffy » Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:16 pm

TNK* wrote:How im not in the nut house I will never know.

But you have ended up here, which is far better as we provide the wax crayons for when you want to decorate the beautifully padded walls of your soft room, and our strait jackets are much prettier and comfier than those standard issue ones :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Nice to meet you properly Jo :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: Some of your life events touched on some experiences that I have also gone thru, so I had a bit of a problem with a misty, blurry screen as I was reading thru :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Making that decision to halt your studies with the end being so close must have been :crazy: :crazy: :yikes: :yikes: :cry: :cry: all at the same time. Ultimately tho, you know yourself far, far better than anyone else, so doing what was best for you was definitely the best move. Whatever decisions we have to make thru life, unfortunately there will always be someone/a few that have to add their thoughts to it, usually unhelpful, negative ones, with little or no thought for how it may affect us.

Life does certainly throw us some very curved balls, some with better outcomes than others. Each one that we face tho gives us experience and knowledge and strength that could help us deal with other curvy balls further down the line.

Hopefully you'll be able to return to work within the expected time frame for recovery from your op :fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed: If you do find things take a little longer than expected, make sure you listen to your body rather than that little voice that will probably be trying to tell you to go back earlier than you're ready for. If not, then things could turn extremely ugly, much to the delight of FM, which will be the only thing that benefits from it :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:
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Re: This is me!

Postby denys » Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:39 pm

Hi Jo, keep up the fight girl you have been through so much but are still here so :welldone: as Flup has said we get much nicer straight jacket and you can even pick your fav colour :lol: :lol: :lol:
Denys

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Re: This is me!

Postby TNK* » Thu Sep 11, 2014 3:03 pm

I would like a Tinkerbell sparkly green, with wings please x
A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes When You're Fast Asleep ºOº


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Re: This is me!

Postby FluppyPuffy » Thu Sep 11, 2014 3:06 pm

Tadah!! It's yours, will be ready for your next visit!!

Every once in a while, a dog enters your life and changes everything xx
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.

If your dog doesn't like someone, then you probably shouldn't either
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Re: This is me!

Postby denys » Fri Sep 12, 2014 3:27 pm

Very stylish now you do know we arent allowed to put the crayons in ears or noses :nono: :nono: :nono: but as Flup said we can colour the walls any shade you like :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Denys

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Re: This is me!

Postby TNK* » Fri Sep 12, 2014 3:31 pm

**sulks**
A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes When You're Fast Asleep ºOº


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Re: This is me!

Postby FluppyPuffy » Fri Sep 12, 2014 3:45 pm

Altho you can't put them in your ears and nose, if you're quick enough you can take a bite or 2 out of one. And as all the colours are named after fruity~foody things, they have the tastes as well, so are quite nice for a snack. And if anyone asks, we can say that they're part of our 5 a day :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.

If your dog doesn't like someone, then you probably shouldn't either
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Re: This is me!

Postby TNK* » Fri Sep 12, 2014 3:57 pm

And of course calorie free!!!
A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes When You're Fast Asleep ºOº


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Re: This is me!

Postby FluppyPuffy » Fri Sep 12, 2014 4:41 pm

Of course!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.

If your dog doesn't like someone, then you probably shouldn't either
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Re: This is me!

Postby denys » Sat Sep 13, 2014 7:44 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Denys

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