Hi - Looking For Reasurance

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Hi - Looking For Reasurance

Postby GayleRuth1978 » Wed Oct 29, 2014 3:03 pm

Hi,
I was diagnosed last week but have been living with the symptons for 9 years or more - its taken that long to get a confirmed diagnosis.
I am struggling to deal with the enormity of it all and the feel very emotional about it.
I'm also worried about my employment, I work 3 days a week and have a 2 year old daughter, my husband works full time and is great at helping me but i cant help feeling guilty about being poorly and not being able to do everything like i used to. I worry about the future and if I'll be able to have another baby. Also I dont live near my family as I moved when i met my husband. I feel quite isolated sometimes even though his family are great I cant help feeling that people think i'm making it all up.
The pain I have in my hips is getting worse, i see a physio for chronic back pain and he's started working on my hips too - any tips on how to deal with the mental side of things? I feel quite down :(
xxxx
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Re: Hi - Looking For Reasurance

Postby Theresa34 » Wed Oct 29, 2014 7:11 pm

I think the first step to dealing with this mentally is accepting the condition and accepting that you will have good days and bad. We all deal with this in different ways. I went through the stages of grief the month after diagnosis. Things felt like they were never going to get better and felt like my life had ended. I felt pretty sorry for myself. Once I started in the meds and learnt to accept my condition things took a turn for the better. I go through flare ups a few days a month. I've recently come out of one and I feel almost normal. I accept that I will have bad days and that this will be with me forever more. There are worse things I could have to be fair. I am learning to deal with this condition day to day. I am a mum to three kids, I don't go out to work. My husband works full time. He is also learning about this condition and we have had quite a few fall outs over it. We both grieved to a point. Let yourself be upset about it, its normal x Then try to find your fighting spirit and fight this thing. I take epsom salt baths, do Pilates, watch what I eat, walk the kids to and from school five days a week. I walk 2 miles a day. Movement has helped me a lot. When I'm feeling motivated enough, movement is he best thing for me. Sitting still too long makes me very stiff and sore.

I hope you're ok xxxx
I am a fibro fighter not a fibro sufferer. I will keep fighting from the minute I get up til the minute I go to bed.
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Re: Hi - Looking For Reasurance

Postby GayleRuth1978 » Wed Oct 29, 2014 10:33 pm

Hi,
Thank you so much for the reply, it's so nice to know there are other people going through the same thing as myself.
I've looked up a local support group that I'm going to contact.
I think i need to give myself time to come to terms with it all and not rush myself.
The hospital are organizing some CBT and therapy so fingers crossed!
Thanks again for your kind words and honesty
xxx
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Re: Hi - Looking For Reasurance

Postby Theresa34 » Thu Oct 30, 2014 6:19 pm

No problem x I hope you find something that helps you x
I am a fibro fighter not a fibro sufferer. I will keep fighting from the minute I get up til the minute I go to bed.
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Re: Hi - Looking For Reasurance

Postby madchickenlady » Mon Nov 03, 2014 11:15 pm

Just wanted to say hi and also you are not alone and there is loads of useful info on here, also ask your surgery if they can refer you to a pain management clinic as these sometimes hold Fibro specific courses that teach you how to manage it to make life a bit easier :-D
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Re: Hi - Looking For Reasurance

Postby Lexi_t » Tue Nov 25, 2014 7:03 pm

I'm in a very similar situation and share your worry and frustration. My OH has found it hard to come to terms with and I feel a bit belittled sometimes. Sending hugs.
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Re: Hi - Looking For Reasurance

Postby SchroedingersCat » Wed Nov 26, 2014 10:18 am

If it's any help, there are quite a few of us around who manage to work full time and live full, if cautious lives, with this - it's not a death sentence or an automatic wheelchair, so try and keep positive. I've suffered for several years and so far I've only had to ease back a bit, so fingers crossed you will be one of the lucky ones too.
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Re: Hi - Looking For Reasurance

Postby dazzleship » Wed Nov 26, 2014 12:17 pm

coming to terms with Fibro is a very emotional thing. the good news is that you have a diagnosis so you at least know what is wrong with you after so many years of symptoms.

I've had fibro for about 2 and a half years now. (was diagnosed within a few months of symptoms appearing). I still work full time, I've had to make changes in my life yes there's no denying that. but it hasn't beaten me, and I don't intend to let it.

it's easy to get into the worry/grief stage, I think we all go through that. I think we have to go through it, you know?

what you're feeling at the moment is normal, you will eventually get to a point where you have accepted it and then you can start living your life with the changes you know you need to make.

the thing is not to fight it, I'm not saying give in to it, but just realise that you have to do things differently, you have to take rests when you need to, and you'll realise you can live with it.

and there is nothing to feel guilty about. you did not give yourself this illness, it chose you. it's not your fault if you have to adapt your life. it sounds as if you've got a great husband who's happy to help you - in return be happy too, you know? I know from personal experience that it's easy to let the fibro become the 'be all and end all' of everything to the detriment of your mood and the mood of those around you.

I hope I'm making sense. I now realise that I need to not be focusing on the fibro anymore - and I'm enjoying my life more since I realised that. my hubby knows I'm in pain when we're out - I don't need to keep mentioning it. :-)

good luck :hugs:
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Re: Hi - Looking For Reasurance

Postby GayleRuth1978 » Sat Dec 13, 2014 4:44 pm

Hi,
Thanks for all of your replies, I have gotten great comfort from knowing that I'm not alone in what I'm feeling whether it be physical or mental. I think I wasn't prepared for how much this would affect me mentally and its difficult to explain that side of it to my husband. My work are organising some counselling to help with my stress and anxiety and I've had a referral for CBT at the hospital so fingers crossed.
Hope you are all relatively low pain day
xxx
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Re: Hi - Looking For Reasurance

Postby denys » Sun Dec 14, 2014 4:32 pm

Hi and :welcome: to the forum :cow-wave: :cow-wave:
Denys

As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
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