[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 112: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4780: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3898)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4782: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3898)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4783: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3898)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4784: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3898)
The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - reaching out



reaching out

Introduce yourself and find fellow sufferers in your area or who share the same interests.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

reaching out

Postby cartoonhead » Wed Jan 28, 2015 12:02 pm

Hi. Stephen, 47, from Glasgow. Diagnosed 6 weeks ago. Answers a lot of questions. Felt as if I was losing my sanity pre diagnosis. Still struggling to accept it and the impact it has had on my life. Know there are people worse off but this is an illness from hell. Tried to hide it from family and friends due to me not being good at accepting help. But fear what the outcome will be if I continue to do that. Want to salvage what's left of the old me, the real me. Hello to all who read this. Cheers!
cartoonhead
UKFM Newbie
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Jan 28, 2015 2:00 am

Re: reaching out

Postby Zia2014 » Wed Jan 28, 2015 2:35 pm

Hi,

Great name!

I was diagnosed in October so relatively recently, and am going through the process of accepting my life is different at the moment. It takes a while and I think it's one of the hardest things about this condition, accepting that things will be different. I am still the same me but can't do the same things, so for instance I go shopping when it's quieter, or online, do more writing as no one is reliant on me, plan in rest days so I know there will be no expectations on those days...there are lots of changes I've had to make and I'm still learning!

By the way are you on any meds? I found that when they gave me painkillers that are also ADs, I felt much calmer, whereas if I'm not on those I have this rollercoaster of emotions because fibro makes you so all over the place.

And yes there are people worse off, but there is nothing wrong in grieving for the things you can't do in the same way anymore. Fibro can be hideous as it takes things away but without other people realising. You really need to be honest with your family at least, because really unless you live with people they can never understand there are days when you can't function, shower or get dressed. I've sat my best friend down and been brutally honest about it, and even then she wanted me to do more than I could! So put yourself first, especially at the moment, because you have to.

Read the forums, there is loads of useful info on here and we all go through similar stuff.

Remember - you are still you. Just facing something hard and learning how to cope, but you will x
Zia2014
UKFM Regular
 
Posts: 1033
Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 2:55 pm

Re: reaching out

Postby FluppyPuffy » Wed Jan 28, 2015 2:41 pm

:welcome: to our crazy little FibroGang Stephen :cow-wave: :cow-wave: :cow-wave:

As a man with FM, you are somewhat of a rarity, however you are not alone. There are a few others on here too, so you don't always have to play with us girlies, altho we are very gentle when it comes to braiding each others hair and applying make~up :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing:

It's good to hear that getting your dx helped answer a lot of questions for you. The acceptance thing tho can be really :yikes: :yikes: :yikes: :yikes: The way a good number of us have dealt with it is to simply take things one day at a time, focussing on "the now" rather than wondering what the future may hold. Wondering about things that may or may not happen uses up a lots of energy and resources that we often find ourselves already short of, so using what supply we do have for something that we can have some control over tends to be more effective and helpful. I know it's easier said than done, but if you break things down into smaller chunks, it does make it a little easier to find your rhythm and way of doing it. It does take time too, so if you find yourself feeling even more fraught/frustrated at how things seem to be going, try not to be too hard on yourself. Instead, try taking a step or 2 back and look at what you have actually managed to achieve as sometimes it is the smallest of things that can make the greatest differences.

Whilst trying to hide things from people and carrying on "as normal" can work for a short while, unfortunately it isn't something that can be done in the long term. From my own experiences it can lead to things becoming much worse, not only physically, but also emotionally/psychologically too, so if you can start being a little more open about things with those around you, hopefully you will find it can all help with finding the best way for you to live with rather than fight against your now constant companion.

The essence of who you are is always with you, it's just that at times things tend to pile up on it, making you think that you are becoming lost in yourself. Hopefully, as you find things/ways that help you, you will find that the pile starts to shrink a little, letting a few glimmers of that essence start peeking thru. It will take it's own time, and there's no guarantee that you will be 100% back to who and how you were preFM, but the important aspects that make you who you are will be there :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


If your dog doesn't like someone, then you probably shouldn't either
User avatar
FluppyPuffy
SITE ADMIN
 
Posts: 12719
Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:25 am
Location: Living Life On The Edge.......Of The Norty Step!!!

Re: reaching out

Postby ixel-chick » Wed Jan 28, 2015 4:46 pm

Welcome to the forum!

I completely understand about not being used to accepting help. This last year has been so hard for me... not just due to the pain, fog and all the other "fun" stuff... but also because I have found myself in a situation I have never been in before - having to depend on my hubby!

From being someone very independent, I have found myself having to rely on him for so many reasons... physically (as I was no longer able to do anything), financially (as I was no longer able to work), emotionally (as I found myself not just upset due to all the physical problems I was expecting, but also in total distress due to how helpless I was feeling), and mentally (his support has been amazing).

We've been together for 15 years, and I have never relied on him for anything before. Occasionally I've allowed him to take care of me, but then it's always been my choice. Suddenly I found myself without a choice.

About 6 months down the line I came to the conclusion I was very ill, and that it was "ok" to be taken care of. My task, and my only task, suddenly became very clear - and that was to get well.


It's ok. You're not well. You're allowed to let people take care of you and support you. :-D


Wish you the very best on your fibro journey, hopefully you will find some solution that will help.
☐ Fibro Mode / ☑ Normal Mode
User avatar
ixel-chick
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 175
Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 10:35 am

Re: reaching out

Postby Zia2014 » Wed Jan 28, 2015 4:52 pm

Zia2014
UKFM Regular
 
Posts: 1033
Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 2:55 pm

Re: reaching out

Postby cartoonhead » Wed Jan 28, 2015 8:46 pm

Thank you ladies. Appreciate your comments and your honesty. I will take on board all experiences and comments. Usually laugh everything off. Thought two hip resurfacings ten years ago was pretty grim but a stroll in the park compared to this.think I will enjoy and benefit from this site. Not a misery guts all the time, Lol. Sense of humour dampened recently but still there. Have wrote bit poetry in my time, some say lot of it really dark but I love words and say it the way I see it. My dreams are so vivid, dark, crazy. Every night. Visit a lot of ghosts and perhaps demons from the past. Sleep pattern been horrendous for years. I find the sheer exhaustion one of the hardest things to deal with. Could write forever but cheers for now . Q
cartoonhead
UKFM Newbie
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Jan 28, 2015 2:00 am

Re: reaching out

Postby Zia2014 » Thu Jan 29, 2015 5:24 pm

Yep I'm with you on sheer exhaustion. The amount of caffeine I've had the last few weeks has barely helped me function -and yes, I know it's not good for you and I should cut down...

I'd be interested to hear your poetry if you feel brave enough to post some?
Zia2014
UKFM Regular
 
Posts: 1033
Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 2:55 pm

Re: reaching out

Postby denys » Thu Jan 29, 2015 8:29 pm

Hi and :welcome: to the forum :cow-wave: :cow-wave:
Denys

As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
User avatar
denys
UKFM Veteran
 
Posts: 11901
Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2010 10:05 pm

Re: reaching out

Postby cartoonhead » Sat Jan 31, 2015 12:10 am

Hi. Just finished a poem.will post it on group page
cartoonhead
UKFM Newbie
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Jan 28, 2015 2:00 am

Re: new poem

Postby cartoonhead » Sat Jan 31, 2015 12:30 am

As I stand alone upon the precipice
Will I stay or will I fall
Retreat is it an option
One step forward will end it all

As darkness descends I hold my arms aloft
Scream as I reach up to the sky
The wild wind it is whispering
And the words they make me cry

What is it that I am looking for
I open my eyes but I can't see
I feel the blackness smothering my soul
The light has fled so far from me

It seems my nightmares are my reality
Send me messages that I can't read
Ghosts that forever haunt me
Pierce my heart and watch it bleed

I step forward but she reaches out
I see her shine in a blinding light
I close my eyes and she is with me
I know I'm going to be alright.
cartoonhead
UKFM Newbie
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Jan 28, 2015 2:00 am

Re: reaching out

Postby cartoonhead » Sat Jan 31, 2015 12:28 pm

Hi. Tried to put poem where anyone can see it but I'm clueless! Help.Lol. Stephen.
cartoonhead
UKFM Newbie
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Jan 28, 2015 2:00 am

Re: reaching out

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sat Jan 31, 2015 12:47 pm

There is a board in General Topics for members to post and share where you could put this. If you open a 2nd tab/window, go to the board and start a new topic, you could then copy the post text from your topic on here and then paste it on to the new topic you've started in the 2nd tab/wwindow, press submit, and it will be there for others to read.


If your dog doesn't like someone, then you probably shouldn't either
User avatar
FluppyPuffy
SITE ADMIN
 
Posts: 12719
Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:25 am
Location: Living Life On The Edge.......Of The Norty Step!!!

Re: reaching out

Postby Zia2014 » Sat Jan 31, 2015 4:42 pm

I really like that! I write too, but prose, at the moment I'm writing a novel - a never ending novel :crazy: Keeps me busy though!
Zia2014
UKFM Regular
 
Posts: 1033
Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 2:55 pm


Return to Where to Say Hello

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests