I am frightened.

Introduce yourself and find fellow sufferers in your area or who share the same interests.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

I am frightened.

Postby MollieH » Tue May 04, 2010 1:48 am

Hey all. I'm not sure how to start what might become an epic post, but I'll shortcut by saying that a friend has helped me research things a great deal, and Fibromyalgia (at the moment) seems like my most likely answer. I'll be as brief as I can with my background.

I was diagnosed with depression around four years ago, and have been on anti depressants for about three years, after various therapies showed no signs of sitting well with me. I've been signed off my career job, and eventually lost it due to the economy.

I've always had weird sleeping patterns, some nights I would just not feel the slightest bit tired until around 5am, other nights I'd sleep for 15 hours. But about a year ago, I began getting the same pattern - cannot sleep - sudden fatigue - sleep deeply - cannot get out of bed. this was swfitly followed by persistent pain in my knees, shoulders, neck, then hips.

This hasn't improved. I went to the doctor after about a month of permanent pain, and he suggested that my meds were reacting badly with me and to just be patient. Things from here got ALOT worse. I began collapsing when I had been on my feet for prolonged periods, crying in pain some nights when I needed to get up and use the loo. I find speaking difficult, and I often forget what I'm saying mid sentence, or mix my words up. I've even begun just jibbering at times. It's very distressing for me, as I am a literature enthusiast, and as of about a year ago, I cannot concentrate. On anything.

My THIRD lot of blood tests came back about three weeks ago and again, as with all the others, they were clear. After requesting ANOTHER new doctor, I got a young, newly qualified one that said he thought it could be Fibromyalgia. I was stunned. My old doctor said it was "an invented illness, stop paying attention to google". So now, in two weeks, I have my first appointment with a rhuematologist. And I am terrified.

I honestly just don't have a clue what is wrong with me, but Fibromyalgia so far seems the only thing that fits. I need to know I am not alone. I just am so, SO scared I'll still be undergoing diagnostic tests years from now.
MollieH
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:17 pm
Location: Peterborough UK

Re: I am frightened.

Postby loubie » Tue May 04, 2010 5:28 am

hi mollieh :wave:

please try not to stress out so much as it will only make you worse :hugs:
yes i know easier said than done :roll:
the rheumatologist will ask you some questions and examine you it is nothing to worry about :D
i love your new young Dr i would stick with that one at leased this one believes in fibro
we have a lot of Dr at our surgery but i have not found one that is fibro friendly yet so every appointment i go to different Dr, just to test them out.
it dose get very frustrating when they just brush it off as if you have a cold :nono:
all our symptoms are very real and very painful and yes very frightening at times :yikes:
i just take one day at a time now, as never know how i will be ?
and i try not to organise anything.
hope you get on OK at rheumatologist at leased you will get some answers.
keep chin up :hugs:
loubie x
loubie xx

As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are
no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of
UKFibromyalgia.
User avatar
loubie
UKFM Regular
 
Posts: 2491
Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 8:57 pm
Location: staffs

Re: I am frightened.

Postby shazq » Tue May 04, 2010 8:43 am

:welcome: to the forum. :wave:
Good luck with the Rheumy, hope you get some answers soon. :hugs:
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
Fibromyalgia Awareness Day May 12TH.
User avatar
shazq
UKFM Veteran
 
Posts: 11449
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2009 8:16 pm
Location: wrapped up under my duvet at home.

Re: I am frightened.

Postby kphillips » Tue May 04, 2010 3:25 pm

as said before take one day at a time, even AM/PM. can be ok when you get up, by lunchtime you feel weard.
best of luck, let us know how you get on!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kathy
:needhug:
kphillips
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 54
Joined: Tue Feb 16, 2010 5:43 pm

Re: I am frightened.

Postby budda » Tue May 04, 2010 4:32 pm

O Mollieh, please don t be scared, once you have spoken to the rheumy and got the results, you will feel better nowing what you have got, and your not going crazy :crazy: , good luck. :hugs:
User avatar
budda
UKFM Regular
 
Posts: 2072
Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2010 11:05 pm
Location: glasgow

Re: I am frightened.

Postby princess » Wed May 05, 2010 1:57 pm

Please dont be scared the Rhumatologist will talk to you and mabye have a feel at your tender points - but they are usually very kind people and as its really teh only way to find out if you have FM or not - you must go.
We are always here for you, if you are anxious, we have all been there ok
princess
User avatar
princess
UKFM Regular
 
Posts: 4769
Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2008 8:27 pm
Location: scotland

Re: I am frightened.

Postby gillshutt » Wed May 05, 2010 6:02 pm

Once you find out what is wrong it does make things easier as you can, hopefully, start to do something about it and look into different meds that might help etc. In the mean time stick with us and we'll help all we can. You certainly aren't alone with your symptoms :hugs:
User avatar
gillshutt
UKFM Regular
 
Posts: 3827
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2007 4:49 pm
Location: south wales

Re: I am frightened.

Postby princess » Wed May 05, 2010 6:29 pm

Do what you can each day and what you cant leave for another day.
Its a good saying for bad days, leave it till you are better.
Please come on and we will talk to you there is almost always someone on here.
princess
User avatar
princess
UKFM Regular
 
Posts: 4769
Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2008 8:27 pm
Location: scotland

Re: I am frightened.

Postby lethargic » Wed May 05, 2010 8:07 pm

:welcome: I wouldn't be surprised if you actually feel more at ease with things after you see the rheumy. A lot of your questions will be answered - I was reminded that although fibro was dreadful (understatement) it is not life-threatening. I know that it is life-changing though; so please try to stay as stress free as possible and let us know how you get on - Good luck :hugs:
lethargic
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 281
Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2010 9:50 pm

Re: I am frightened.

Postby MollieH » Sat May 08, 2010 11:42 pm

Thank you everyone, I am overwhelmed by the positive response on here.

As things stand, I start a temporary office job on Monday (without a diagnosis I cannot get anything other than JobSeeker's allowance benefit) - to help pay the bills, because my partner struggles alone.

I went out on Thursday (just gone) and was only out in town for a few hours, but to be honest I am STILL recovering from the resulting aches and pains, and don't even get me started on brain fog/fail/stuttering.

Still am feeling so confused, and mixed about starting work... I think it'll be good for my depression... but as for the pain? I just don't know what to expect.
MollieH
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:17 pm
Location: Peterborough UK

Re: I am frightened.

Postby lethargic » Fri May 14, 2010 5:30 pm

Good luck with the job - if you can manage throughout the day at work try and take things as easy as you can when you get home. If you need to lie down for a while when you get in then don't feel guilty (ready made dinners are a god send at times like this - not exactly Jamie Oliver but who cares :dunno: ) I was one of the very lucky ones who had a lot of support from colleagues until I finally had to retire five years early on grounds of ill-health. I hope you too can get some empathy from work colleagues. :hugs:
lethargic
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 281
Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2010 9:50 pm

Re: I am frightened.

Postby shazq » Sat May 15, 2010 8:17 am

Good luck with your new job Millie, just listen to your body, if you need to rest then just do it, try to pace yourself throughout the day. :hugs:
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
Fibromyalgia Awareness Day May 12TH.
User avatar
shazq
UKFM Veteran
 
Posts: 11449
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2009 8:16 pm
Location: wrapped up under my duvet at home.

Re: I am frightened.

Postby bubbaboo » Sat May 15, 2010 8:32 pm

Hi Mollie please don't be scared...I was diagnosed in March and like you was very worried but that really does make you feel worse.....take each day as they come and go with how you feel..let us know how you get on at the Rheumy be thinking of you big hugs xxx :blowkiss:
bubbaboo
UKFM Newbie
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 1:27 pm
Location: Chippenham, Wiltshire

Re: I am frightened.

Postby MollieH » Sun May 16, 2010 1:52 pm

Hi, just a quick update.

My rheumy appointment is tomorrow, and I'm anxious as hell, especially since I've not slept well all week.

With regards to the job, I don;t think I'm going to be able to continue. The temp agency oversold it on quite a gross level, and I've been a glorified tea and filing lady all week, meaning a LOT of going up and down stairs, lifting heavy stacks of paper, which on several occasions has left me crying in pain in the loos. Already spoken to the temp agency about it, and tomorrow pretty much is going to make my mind up on if I can carry on.

Each day I've practically crawled in through the front door, and literally cannot stand, and so lie down. Sleeping patterns are totally shot from using coffee to get through the mornings, so feeling a bit zombified.

Just actually about to sit down and make a list for the doctor tomorrow, of when everything started, etc. Ugh, wish me luck!
MollieH
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:17 pm
Location: Peterborough UK


Return to Where to Say Hello

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests