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The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - Any younger people here?



Any younger people here?

Introduce yourself and find fellow sufferers in your area or who share the same interests.

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Any younger people here?

Postby shalane » Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:34 pm

Hi everyone I am 22 and am hoping to maybe find people on here that are of a simular age to myself? That can shed some light on how they balance there social life so it doesnt make a worse effect on their FM?

Also do your friends understand? I havnt really explained it much to my friends as I dont want them to think im just looking for sympathy, im not. It would just be good for them to understand why sometimes I cant make events or dont want to stay out as long as them on a Saturday night.

Can anyone help? X
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Re: Any younger people here?

Postby budda » Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:47 pm

Hi shalane, am 52year young :lol: ,about your friends and telling them, if they are your good friends, then they will stay and support you, I to have close friends, and we all have good nights together, when i tell them i cant make it, they dont ask any questions, they take me as i am,thats what good friends will do, am sure there is plenty people on the forum of your age.
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Re: Any younger people here?

Postby Elsbeth » Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:51 pm

I am 32 so I don't know if that classes as younger for you.

It can be hard to explain this to people, I found printing info off or getting them to sit with me at my computer while I googled info for them helped.

My partner is just a year older than you and he has to make the same excuses you do as he is my carer. People can get a bit arsey about it but they will have to adjust. You and your health comes first.

If you know you have a big night coming up then make sure you rest up as much as you can before. Take painkillers before you go out and drink just water. Make sure if possible that you nab a table with a seat for you to sit down when you need to and wear flat shoes!!
It might be worth talking to them and saying that as much as you like clubbing, can you all start having meal nights instead.

if you want my facebook PM me and I will give it to you..that is if I do fit in the young bit lol.
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Re: Any younger people here?

Postby cala » Wed Jul 28, 2010 4:25 pm

I'm 28 and have had the symptoms since i was 18 but only dx at 26. Have found most my friends don't quite understand and have lost contact with a few due to not being able to go out alot but the important ones are still there for me and while they may not fully understand they acccept me for how I am. Although the depression does cause me to be a little paranoid at times.

To make sure i do get a social life though I make sure that at least once a month I do something with friends even if its nothing more then sitting in watching a movie with take out, and if I'm feeling better then we will rearrange on the day to going out to see a film or for a meal - while i can't dance or drink they are fine with this - It's just a case of adapting your likes and friends around the illness and finding ways to combine them without hurting you.

Good luck honey.
'Lifes not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain'
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Re: Any younger people here?

Postby stephanini » Wed Jul 28, 2010 7:52 pm

Hi there, im 24, so very close to your age...

i tend to do a lot of meals or cinema nights out now rather than "clubbing" as its just not enjoyable!!

i have 2 really good friends who take it in turns between the 3 of us to do a meal at each others houses, a dvd and the odd tipple when possible...

I have 2 children too, so by the time ive got through the day, im ready for collapsing at night!!



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Re: Any younger people here?

Postby denys » Wed Jul 28, 2010 8:33 pm

Hi Shalane and :welcome: to the forum, there are younger people on the site as you have already found and I'm sure more will be along to help :hugs:
Denys

As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
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Re: Any younger people here?

Postby paulh » Fri Jul 30, 2010 11:47 am

Hi Shalane.

Although i am now 44,i got Fibromyalgia when i was 27,and found it really hard socialising,as i had many friends who all wanted me to join them day in day out,but i physically couldnt.

I found the best thing for me is only go on trips or social events that i really wanted to go on, rather going for the sake of it,and dont be afraid of leaving early.I try to show my face for a few hours then when the pain is to much i leave.

I did explain to my close friends what had happened to me,and although they seemed shocked,i know they did not understand.

Try not to lose your friends and social life,but dont overdo things either,its all about balance.

All the best

paul
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Re: Any younger people here?

Postby hamstergirl » Fri Jul 30, 2010 12:09 pm

Hi

Im 41 now but had my severest symptons when i was 24 even though looking back i was in my earlty teens when i started having strange symptons (that i kept to myself).

I dont find anyone very sympathetic unless they are suffering themselves. I've come to accept ignorance is their problem. They seem to think you look ok so you must be ok but just like to moan.

Now friends dont even bother asking me. I use to say yes when they planned a night out didnt dare say no, but as time got nearer i always seem to cancel because i knew i couldnt make it. On the odd occassion i dragged myself there but was sat on my own most of the time while everyone were dancing. They kept saying you use to love to dance, yes i know i did but i cant now. They just seem to think i want to sit there so everyone can fuss over me.

I'm quite happy (well i would like a life) now just staying in and i only have to answer to myself.

Dont make yourself ill trying to please other people, i've come to the conclusion now if they dont at least try to understand and be understanding to my needs they are not worth bothering with.

My husband tries to be understanding but doesnt quite get it. To be honest unless you suffer with any illness you cant possibly understand how another one feels but trying to understand even if you get it wrong is a huge comfort to me.

Sending you some :hugs: :hugs:


Lorraine
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Re: Any younger people here?

Postby shalane » Fri Jul 30, 2010 12:17 pm

Hello everyone and thank you soooooooooooo much for your replies! As much as I dont wish these feelings on anyone, it is great knowing there are other people out there of a simular age that know what i'm going through and can give me advice and can talk to when feeling a little low.

I have got a few very close friends that I would like to explain a little more to about how I feel. I have only touched on the subject with them in fear they wouldnt understand but I think they need to know how I really feel so then even if they dont understand FM they will know my reasons for not being able to do the things they can do without feeling 100% worse for the next week after. :roll:

I have a friend who would rather stay in with a takeout and dvd then go clubbing so thats quite helpful. If I do go out into town I wear flat shoes now and drive as cant drink on my tablets so I have a little dance with friends and then go home. I aim to be at home tucked up in bed before midnight now. :)

Ive planned with another friend to have dinner and watch a film next wednesday so that will be nice. I think everything just takes time, ive struggled finding the right balance for me but I think after talking to others who have the same as me, I can learn alot from you all and hopefully find the right mix to making me feel a little less in pain and much happier.

Thank you all again hopefully we will continue to chat together on here. :D :grouphug:

BIG gentle :hugs: to all and if you do have facebook by all means give me your name and I will add you. :blowkiss:
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Re: Any younger people here?

Postby stephanini » Fri Jul 30, 2010 9:33 pm

its nice to know there are others out there isnt it!!

im Stephanie Marr on facebook if you want to add me... :D



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