sorry to moan but...

Any tips on what helps you including alternative medicine.

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sorry to moan but...

Postby velvet » Sat Jan 19, 2008 1:50 pm

how does everyone else manage to get their family to realise when they ask for help its because they really need it.

my house has not been vacumed for 3 weeks, there are dirty clothes and clean clothes dumped mixed up on bedroom floors, the kitchen floor needs mopping badly, basically the whole house is hanging and nothing has been done.
i am on incapacity and my partner does not work as he is supposed to be my carer and do the household jobs whan i am unable to, as well as being the safe adult when i am confused.
having finally woken up knowing where i am and with enough energy to do more than hold my head up on my shoulders i asked my partner to tidy the front room for him to delcare the hoover didnt work and then smash the spare as it wasnt sucking either. i then completely lost it flipped out and have now blitzed what i could which of course means i will probably go back to feeling awful for failing to "pace" myself.
i dont want to live like this but how do i change it. when i am ill i do not have the energy to make people do it, and when i am "well" it takes less energy to just do the jobs and at least feel useful.
i feel so pathetic writing this i am sure i should be doing something but what. i just dont know.
sorry for the moan but if i dont moan i think i might just give up.
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Postby luuluu » Sat Jan 19, 2008 9:34 pm

Hi Velvet,

I'm not sure what to say but just wanted you to know I had read your post.
I am fairly lucky in that my mam pushes the hoover over and takes my washing and ironing when i'm to ill to do it but its the same old problem isnt it...you can't see fibro so people don't realise just how ill you feel. :evil:
All of us i'm sure wish we could do all our own housework all of the time.
Like I said i'm not sure what to say but I sure do understand
luuluu
xxxxx
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Postby velvet » Sat Jan 19, 2008 10:05 pm

cheers for that :) i am sure people think i am just being lazy when i end up just swapping chairs for the day. i havent even been able to read properly of late (cant concentrate you know the one) so i am flicking between the PC chatting, a chair reading and a chair watching tv. as you say people cant see so dont realise and everything is so frustrating.

still it should pass, it just gets me down is all.
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Postby Looby Lou » Sat Jan 19, 2008 10:06 pm

Hi, Velvet hope having a good moan made you feel a bit better, that's why this site is here for a listening and caring role.
perhaps you need to speak to someone to see if you can get more practical help.
If you could just get you're home in order again it would give you a boost, do you have family who you could ask to all come and blitz everything?
Maybe you and hubby need to sit and have a calm talk about the situation and what you can both do to improve things, does he have carer 'fatigue' and need a break? Is there a site such as this for carers or does he need to set a thread on this site to give him an opportunity to express his worries and frustrations?
Fibro is so difficult because it is unseen and can be so diverse, what do non sufferers really think of us? There is no real answer is there?
I hope your situation is just 'a bad day' and you can get over it, get the vacuum mended and do what you can when you can. Easier said than done I know.
I'm sorry I've gone on a bit but I feel so sorry for your situation because of this pig of an illness and feel helpless because words don't do the dusting, washing, cooking and cleaning.
Keep letting off steam when you want to we're all hear for you!
LoL Looby x
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Postby velvet » Sat Jan 19, 2008 10:14 pm

cheers. yes i do feel better for blowing off and the house does look better which makes me feel better. i think with me and partner (not married by the way) its a combination of bad communication mostly on my part as i have a bad habit of saying leave it if i feel i should be doing it and a difference in ideas as to what constitutes it done (poor lamb moved straight from mum to me and i have 4 from when i was married, then in 2 years this happened) as i do not agree that pushing everything to the side of the room and hooevering the middle bit is good enough. i am also worse than him at making the mess in the first place as i was always the whizz round in 30 minutes at the end type, one day i promise i will get this put it away as you do it thing.

i am usually far better humored but sometimes even i go bang so heres to another day of playing which bit hurts most now then.

thankyou again velvet
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House work

Postby cat123 » Mon Jan 21, 2008 11:32 am

Hi velvet, the one thing that really bugs me and its never ending is my untidy house!i wish it were differant but if you are a tidy person its really hard to live with so believe me,i know where you are coming from!your house sounds just like mine.I get myself into such a frensy about it.I wish i diddent care about it. :roll: every little bit of muck winds me up!my fella gets mad with stuff.Im sure im frustrating to him at times but he truth is my standards are so much higher than his.others dont see what we tidyies do.but i honestly think that my partner tries his best,but they get just as frustrated as we do.Its not easy asking them to do stuff ,when they dont see the mess we do!my blokes got no idea how bad this gets me.he is a really good surrport other wise.dont know what i would do without him.the only thing he cant do is ironing,if you want to see mad as hell,watch him trying to iron :x so now my niece does it.she will do other jobs for me when i get desperate.Its costs me a fiver and her tea.shes only 12,i get her to do an hours housework for that.i give her a tenner when shes here for longer.she gets paid at home for jobs she does for my brother.got any nieces?take care....cat
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Postby velvet » Mon Jan 21, 2008 12:12 pm

not within 100 miles no,lol. i guess its a case of the "should be's" i was warned about :shock:
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