[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4780: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3898)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4782: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3898)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4783: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3898)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4784: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3898)
The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - Someone, please help [Single Mother Struggling]



Someone, please help [Single Mother Struggling]

Any tips on what helps you including alternative medicine.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

Someone, please help [Single Mother Struggling]

Postby BusyMumof5 » Tue Aug 21, 2012 4:29 pm

I am still new to coping with Fibro, despite being diagnosed last October and having it now 3 years (although the fatigue came when I just left school).

How do you cope with the fatigue?
how do you cope with the pain on painful days?

I am a Mother to 5 under 8 years old and I am struggling at the moment, to the point where I may have to give the children to their father.

At the moment I have the eldest two with me (aged 7 and 6) and I have woken in a lot of pain and on-going tiredness. I am exhausted. It is only 4pm and I can't wait for my bed.

I have recently been put on Lyrica I have worked my way up to 75mg twice a day.

How do you cope with the extreme tiredness when you have kids to look after, especially the pain?

I don't know what to do, I am seriously thinking of giving up my children though (even though their Father is not a suitable parent) purely because I want to suffer in peace as it were.

Please help me, I am desperate. xx
Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Asthma and much much more!
Image
User avatar
BusyMumof5
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 45
Joined: Tue Dec 28, 2010 2:19 am

Re: Someone, please help [Single Mother Struggling]

Postby masonsbarms » Tue Aug 21, 2012 5:25 pm

hi busymum, i am so sorry you feel that desprate,

i dont have small children to see to,

you may not want to but have you spoke to you gp about how you are struggleing.

you may be entitled to some help with looking after your children from social services,

they can arrange all sorts of thing to help, they are ready to help keep familys together,

also when did you last have your meds reviewd i know you said you have increased it, but maybe its not right for you.

never be affraid to tell your gp how bad you are feeling and fight for all the help you can get,

i know some people think that social services are onlt there for when children arent being treated right ,

but i know a lady who cares for familys where a single parent has ms and struggles to look after her young children.

i realy hope that things get better for you and others have better or dirfent advice than i have given.

take care xx
masonsbarms
UKFM Regular
 
Posts: 1119
Joined: Wed Dec 28, 2011 8:14 am
Location: preston

Re: Someone, please help [Single Mother Struggling]

Postby shazq » Tue Aug 21, 2012 6:01 pm

Hi busymum

Sorry you are struggling but i can understand how hard it must be for you. :hugs:
My boys are grown up now so i dont have to look after them now although i have had an illness when they were all very young and been in and out of hospital and had a number of operations, i always found the school holidays hard.

I had family to help me out. Have you got family that could help you out? Could you ask the grandparents to have them for a couple of hrs just to let you have a nap or get them to pop around to yours and get them to watch a dvd with the kids while you have a nap.

I dont know much about social services but agree with mason, its worth asking for their help or they might be able to give you numbers of other charity's that can help you.

Sounds like you do need to get your meds sorted out as well, it can take a combo of meds to get the pain under control so its worth going back to have a chat with your gp, mention to him that you are not coping because he might also be able to help you.

:goodluck1: hope things get better. :hugs: :flowers:
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
User avatar
shazq
UKFM Veteran
 
Posts: 11449
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2009 8:16 pm
Location: wrapped up under my duvet at home.

Re: Someone, please help [Single Mother Struggling]

Postby TATT » Tue Aug 21, 2012 6:37 pm

Hi Busymum,
I read your post and just had to reply. I don't know what to say, my immediate thought was where are you maybe I could come over and help. But I am about as helpful as an ashtray on a motorbike, even that's not meant to be funny.

I think a lot of us are middle aged and kids are grown up but for you younger ones my heart goes out to you. Is there a support group fibro near you where you could get some support. I don't know what social services will do or can do. Do you have any friends or neighbours family members that can help you out.

I thnik my life is hard and then I see ou with five little ones and I wish I could do something. Let us know how you are doing and please go see your GP?

Lots of love honey xxxxxx
TATT
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 413
Joined: Mon Jan 16, 2012 12:21 pm

Re: Someone, please help [Single Mother Struggling]

Postby FluppyPuffy » Tue Aug 21, 2012 8:25 pm

You've been given some good advice, and I can't really think of anything else that would add to what has already been said.

If you can, go and see your GP, there may be something that you could take in addition to your current cocktail, that could help you thru this time. Your GP may also be able to put you in touch with others who could help you.

For the kids, if family and friends can't help, are there any schemes or holiday clubs that they could attend for part of the day/week?? Maybe a look into whether there are any local single/lone parent groups in your area could be somewhere to start :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


If your dog doesn't like someone, then you probably shouldn't either
User avatar
FluppyPuffy
SITE ADMIN
 
Posts: 12719
Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:25 am
Location: Living Life On The Edge.......Of The Norty Step!!!

Re: Someone, please help [Single Mother Struggling]

Postby denys » Tue Aug 21, 2012 8:31 pm

Same from me I'm afraid all mine are grown up so I cant really advise you on what is available in your area. I agree call social services they are there to help and will want to keep you all together sending you some :hugs: :hugs:
Denys

As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
User avatar
denys
UKFM Veteran
 
Posts: 11901
Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2010 10:05 pm

Re: Someone, please help [Single Mother Struggling]

Postby Jaycee » Tue Aug 21, 2012 10:32 pm

Hi busymum,

I only have two, but have found that tough enough at times. The only advice I can give is to accept help when it is offered. Look for activities where you can sit down - cinema, bowling or soft play areas with a cafe attached are all good. I have tried to get mine involved in sports clubs and activities, I figure then it's not so bad if sometimes when they were with me we just sat and watched a film (or they watched and I snoozed)

The holidays are worse, but you often find good out of school clubs. My local sports centres offer a wide range of sessions that only cost a few pounds. Take it in turns with other mums to have the children for an afternoon, I know it sounds mad to take on more kids but I always find that if mine have a friend to play with they are happy to amuse themselves and are no trouble at all. Plus you get the benefit from when it's someone else's turn.

Take care , only two more weeks til they're back at school
J
Jaycee
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Sat Dec 10, 2011 2:16 pm

Re: Someone, please help [Single Mother Struggling]

Postby crazycat36 » Sat Aug 25, 2012 2:59 pm

hi busymum,

ive had fibro for 6yrs diagnosed so obviouslly a lot longer, im a single parent of 4 kids with no other half even in sight, the best thing i can tell u to do is get in touch with social work, they will organise extra care within the house to let u rest during holidays when its so much tougher and u can also get home help to help feed ur kids and to do ur shopping etc, my youngest is just turned 10 and my eldest is just turned 17 and the oldest is now my carer but for a long time i relied heavily on social work department to help me keep my children with me and thanks to there wonderful suppost and other charity organisations they put me in touch with in my area i got lots of extra help all of which was paid by the social work so didnt loose any money although they did need constant forms filled out but was so worth it, without them i wouldnt of managed, my 2 edlest kids now look after me and the younger 2 aswell as help keep house tidy - ish (not to my standard but they do there best) aswell they also managed to pass there 4th yr exams and eldest her 5th yr ones aswell and is now starting college on monday its been very hard but i still rule the house from my chair or bed depending how i am but we manage although like all families the kids fight and scream at each other and we do all argue sometimes, and its not been easy sometimes ive been so bad but couldnt just lie and feel sorry for myself after all when we hav our kids we decide from that day to put them first and even though we r ill i still put them first all the time but just sometimes they need to entertain themselves while i sleep but my house is set up for kids to keep themselves amused so i can get some rest when needed wether there at school or not its a long slow raod but just recentlly ive been able to step bk a little and spend a little more time trying to better my health...dont give up on urself and dont give up on ur kids there is help out there
crazycat36
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 192
Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2011 8:02 pm

Re: Someone, please help [Single Mother Struggling]

Postby Cariad84 » Sat Aug 25, 2012 9:11 pm

Hi busymum,
I hope you are ok and have managed to get some help or to see your GP. You have been given such amazing advice already I don't know what to say... apart from, I really do take my hat off to you I find my 5 and a half and 2 and a half year old enough when I am bad let alone 5 and on your own.
I know you feel low, and lonely and in pain and if you are like me you are probably beating yourself up that you are a bad mother, you are not, you are being incrediably strong and having the courage to start talking about it is a huge step, I know you talk about giving them up but I doubt you would be able to and in a way without the kiddies you would have nothing to help push you to try to carry on. The holidays are long and hard without Fibro and your other problems don't give up there isn't long left and maybe I hope some of the advice given before me has helped you get through another couple of days already.
Have you tried a carpet picnic for the kids? When I am feeling really bad I potter in the kitchen and sort out some fruit and snack bits etc and whilst I am doing that my dayghter gets a blanket on the floor a few teddies my son has his tractors and they sit hapily for ages having a carpet picnic, whilst I can be on the sofa joining in but not having to try to keep up or have lots of loud noise. I think the advice you have had about social services is something very useful to know about because I don't know about you but personally I have been a little scared of the idea of calling them to say I was starting to find things harder, at least you now have that option.

Take care busymum and if you ever want to talk message me.
:hugs: Cariad84
Cariad84
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 46
Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2012 8:06 pm
Location: Mid Wales

Re: Someone, please help [Single Mother Struggling]

Postby Elspeth » Wed Sep 05, 2012 7:13 pm

I am 23 with no kids yet, thank god, so I can't advise. All I can say is, take all the help you can get and don't feel at all guilty. the state should be helping you. Reach out, find out what help social services can give and cart them off to someone else when you can. As long as you love them they won't resent you. You need R&R. Good luck.
Elspeth
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2012 4:44 pm


Return to Help / Tips on Coping

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests