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The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - Work/family and managing pain???



Work/family and managing pain???

Any tips on what helps you including alternative medicine.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

Work/family and managing pain???

Postby Lisalou » Wed Jan 15, 2014 5:56 pm

Hi, I'm new here. Could really do with some advice.

I work full time but I'm really struggling. I don't want to take time off but I am finding it hard to walk let alone do my job.

I am a support worker so I feel like I am letting the people I support down if I'm not in. My memory is so bad, before I had my diagnosis I thought I had dementia.

How do I manage my work my two wonderful and helpful children, being a wife and home maker?

I feel like such a failier right now.
Thanks for taking the time to read and hopefully reply.

Lisa x x

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Re: Work/family and managing pain???

Postby LouLou » Fri Jan 17, 2014 1:17 pm

Hi Lisalou

:welcome: to the forum.

I used to work 45-50+ hours in finance but when I started to suffer with FM symptoms I really struggled to make it through a full day. My hours used to start really early as I work for a Manufacturing company so I was starting at 7.30am. After much playing around with my hours I found that starting later at 9am was much better for me and I now work 30 hours a week.

I am able to manage that on a weekly basis. Sometimes I need to go in a bit later or sometimes I need to leave a bit earlier but on the whole this works for me.

Have you considered asking to either reduce your hours or just move your start/finish times?

Nor for memory problems - FM can cause us to have what we call a "foggy" brain and this can cause us to struggle to remember the smallest of things, names, places, dates etc. I now use a small filofax diary where I record everything I have to do on a weekly basis. I also use reminders with alarms set on my phone to remind me of appointments, birthdays even to get something out of the freezer lol.

At home I have post it notes dotted around and lists to stick by. It's by no means perfect and I do still struggle sometimes but it has helped my memory to improve.

In terms of managing day to day life with FM, it's taken me a few years to grasp this but pacing is key in how I function these days. I plan out my household tasks so that they are spread over the week as opposed to doing a big cleaning frenzy in one day. Some days I can manage my tasks some days I can't. It took me a while to stop feeling guilty about not being able to complete small tasks or if the washing started to pile up, but I now know that if my body needs rest then I have to rest.

My hubby helps out a lot at home too and you say you have 2 helpful children? I'm not sure what age they are but maybe give them small tasks to complete and make it into a game or something if they are quite young? I don't know too much in that area I'm afraid as I don't have children yet.

Hope that helps a little.
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Re: Work/family and managing pain???

Postby FluppyPuffy » Fri Jan 17, 2014 3:01 pm

Not much more I can really add to the advice that LouLou has given you, other than these things are used by a good number of us on here, and, as Lou has already said, they do help.

Hopefully, with a little thought and input from the relevant people in your life, you'll be able to find a more suitable balance with things :fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed: Please try not to focus on where you feel you are letting others down/failing them. If you were to sit down with your family, friends, colleagues etc and compile a list of things where you feel you are failing, then do the same with the areas where you make a real difference, I have a good idea about which of them would be the longest :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


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Re: Work/family and managing pain???

Postby Lisalou » Sat Jan 18, 2014 1:09 am

Thank you ladies, I have decided to take a couple of weeks off. Maybe this flare up which feels never ending would of done one by then.

I am a support worker and I know I'm blooming good at my job, but, I got to the point where I wouldn't take my morphine or Diazapam at night because I can't function the next day which would mean I would be able to do what I told my clients i would do. Then I would get in to a whole mind battle of me and my work. In the end after no sleep and giving in to medication at 4am i decided as much as I care for my job and the people I support, my health and pain management is priority.

I have started keeping in diary so I have someone to tell about my pain but without feeling like all I do is moan. (I hate moaning) ;-).

My girls are 10 and 12 and are loving all the pocket money they are earning out of me and the additional mobile phone credit for the ease of guilt on my part.

It's nice to know that there are other people to talk to. I don't know anyone else might fm.

Oh and pacing myself, hmm now that is something I am impossible with. Since I was 15 when I had glandular fever and probably the start of all this, I have never been good at pacing. I think I know when I have a good day i have to get loads done cos tomorrow could be a different story. It's something my mum is fed up of saying to me. But as I have started to deteriorate I have had to slow right down.

A job a day, I'm happy with that now.

Thank you both for the advice and encouragement, it means a lot.
Lisa X x x

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