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The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - feel like giving up



feel like giving up

Any tips on what helps you including alternative medicine.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

feel like giving up

Postby Taz » Fri May 09, 2014 2:04 pm

I know this may sound drastic but after my wife left 2 years ago
iv'e struggled so much, I can't get help anywhere, iv'e tried believe me, social services, mental health everyone
i feel so depressed only my 2 sons keep me going, 1 lives with me he is nearly 14 but doesn't pull his weight much even though he loves me to bits, iv'e messed mmy meds up this week as well so only getting half what I should so the pain is awfull, i just don't know how much more i can take sorry for moaning i know others must feel the same, i have hardley any family and only a couple of friends who are not the touchy feely type anyway
keith
NEVER EVER GIVE UP OR IT'S ALL OVER
Taz
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Re: feel like giving up

Postby Taz » Fri May 09, 2014 2:15 pm

i forgot to add that 2 months ago I died for several minutes in hospital with sepcis or septasemia
and it's had a big effect on me mentally, pluss my x wife told my son I should have died for good ?
iv'e suffered deppression all my life but i have times like this when it gets really bad
NEVER EVER GIVE UP OR IT'S ALL OVER
Taz
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Re: feel like giving up

Postby mrselizabeth » Fri May 09, 2014 4:22 pm

Hi Taz,
Sorry to hear of your troubles, don't give up all of us on here all suffer the same with our friend fibro. I am sure we will be a friend to you on here anyway. I know the feeling about family and friends, mine are limited too. Its a horrid disease we suffer, I take lots of meds including Morphine as I never seem to be free of pain any day. And only manage 2 hrs sleep at night. Keep your chin up, and keep on visiting here you will learn lots... ;-)
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Re: feel like giving up

Postby Theresa34 » Fri May 09, 2014 5:16 pm

Hi, I am sorry youre struggling so much. I am shocked that your ex should say such a thing about you. And even worse, to your child! As some of us start to realise, cut out all the negative people in your life or at least spend as little time with them as possible. Your 14 yr old sounds typical of a teenager. Not sure if its even possible to communicate with them lol My social life revolves around facebook and some online games. I am a stay at home mum and dont get out very much :roll: I don't know how this is going to sound, but if you honestly feel like you're going to harm yourself, ring the Samaritans. There will always be someone on the other end of the line. This was suggested to me last year when I was having probs separate to fibro.

Take care of yourself, and never ever think that no one wants you or your life has ended. I like to think that I kick fibros bum every morning the minute I get out of bed. You need to find some positives and build your self esteem xxx
I am a fibro fighter not a fibro sufferer. I will keep fighting from the minute I get up til the minute I go to bed.
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Re: feel like giving up

Postby Taz » Sat May 10, 2014 1:29 pm

Thanks, the fibro has destroyed my life like many others on here.
the depression it feeds is like being kicked while your down
NEVER EVER GIVE UP OR IT'S ALL OVER
Taz
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Re: feel like giving up

Postby Helhit » Sat May 10, 2014 2:23 pm

Seems to me that the fact you didn't die is a cause for celebration. Life has more in store for you, you just don't know what it is yet.
I have a 15 yr old daughter who we call the slug, as she leaves a trail of her stuff wherever she goes around the house. Ive tried to get her to help, but it's a hit or miss thing! So you really are not on your own there.
Have you thought of starting a hobby that you can do when you're feeling up to it? Ive started pencil drawing. Using tutorials on YouTube, I now manage to do about half an hour before my arms tire. I only suggest this because if you had an interest you could join a club and meet like minded people.
I know ive waffled on, but please please don't give up - keep on keeping on
Fibro is like the wind. You can't see it and when it flares up it knocks you off your feet!
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Re: feel like giving up

Postby Taz » Sat May 10, 2014 3:52 pm

thanks
my full story is a very long one spanning 22 years when my father was killed by an arrogant doctor giving him a simple injection but the wrong way, he got struck off and the hospital changed their pollicy it was big news at the time, then my fiance left and my business failed, I had a breakdown and it took my 6 years to get back on my feet but they found out i struggled with emotion and had a personality disorder. thhen i met my x wife, we had 2 children but after 7 years i had a heart attack, was diagnosed with diabetees, and fibro in the same year, i knew nothing about fibro, became depressed and my wife stitchedd me up then left sleeping around which i found ouut about iin emails in black and white and intricate detail, she has our 7 yo son so she can claim his benefits but he hates being with her so comes here most of the time, my wife has taunted me and tried to push deeper into depression so i divorced her on grounds of multiple adultry. she uses our youngest child to get what she wants and all the time im struggling with several illness's inc the sepsis iv'e just been through, i'm not considered depressed enough for the help thats out there, benefits have just put me on p.i.p which is taking ages to sort out and my dla has now finished so im down £430 a month, iv'e got bills I can't pay,constant physical pain and constant mental pain, i loved my wife very much. i feel so hurt and so alone with no friends or family for help, this is a brief bit of what iv'e been through, so to go on but i seem to have hit a wall i can't get past
NEVER EVER GIVE UP OR IT'S ALL OVER
Taz
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Re: feel like giving up

Postby nicola75 » Sun May 11, 2014 9:05 am

Hi Taz

So sorry to hear you're feeling so low right now, you really have had it bad haven't you?? Please try to stay strong. As a single mum that has several health issues, I know how hard things can get. Remember we're all here for you.

Gentle hugs

Nic :-) x
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Re: feel like giving up

Postby Taz » Sun May 11, 2014 4:13 pm

Thanks Nicola
I think one thing i struggle with is that up to about 7 years ago I was a very fit quite good looking guy
I never stopped, always doing stuff and now I struggle to get dressed, i do stuff but it hurts like hell
i had a good life now I seem to have none, i do try honestly i do only to fall at the second hurdle
i still don't fully understand or comprehend what has happened to me :( people i thought where friends
just told me to quit moaning and get on with stuff, i would if i knew how or could even, i miss adult company
as well and feel very lonely, having tto see my x due to the kids is hard, she smirks and belittles me all the time
and yet i gave here everything in 13 years of marraige, she takes delight in twisting the knife, even her mates who
don't even like me reckon she's a bitch, don't get me wrong i made mistakes but nothing really bad. but the way i feel
is not just down to her it's everything, loosing my mobility and fitness hurts just as much, i used to keep very fit
but now i just feel a mess, stay indoors a lot, this sounds so pathetic it really does
NEVER EVER GIVE UP OR IT'S ALL OVER
Taz
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Posts: 56
Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:46 pm

Re: feel like giving up

Postby nicola75 » Mon May 12, 2014 6:07 am

Taz

You don't sound pathetic at all, your x doesn't sound like a very nice person and doesn't deserve you. When you marry some one
it's supposed to be in sickness and in health, not to do one at the first chance!

I was very fit before too, worked out 5 days a week,never stopped was always on the go and just before I was diagnosed I had trained to be an aerobics instructor! Now the walk around the corner to the shop can leave me exhausted and aching for hours or sometimes days.

As for your friends, well I think everyone on here has probably experienced people like them, unfortunately nobody understands what we go through unless they've experienced it themselves, you certainly realise who your true friends are when you need them.
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Re: feel like giving up

Postby Taz » Mon May 12, 2014 9:57 am

Thanks Nicola, i'm 52, look 42 feel like 72 ?
I just struggle to accept, that this is as good as it gets ?
I feel gguilty i can't stuff with my kids
you sound quite positive though, how do you manage ?
keith
NEVER EVER GIVE UP OR IT'S ALL OVER
Taz
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Re: feel like giving up

Postby Taz » Mon May 12, 2014 10:07 am

hang on are you the Nicola in manchester ?
if so I live Nr Bolton not far away maaybe we should chat more ?
if u can cope with cheering me up a bit lol
keith
NEVER EVER GIVE UP OR IT'S ALL OVER
Taz
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Posts: 56
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Re: feel like giving up

Postby nicola75 » Mon May 12, 2014 11:59 am

Yep i'm in Manchester.

I wouldn't say I'm positive though, I can have my bad days, weeks even months, where I'll be so down
and won't want to leave the house or see anyone cos I'm in pain and I'm struggling with walking and getting about. I also have other
health issue's which make it hard.

The kids keep me going though, I have to try to stay strong for them at the end of the day....not easy though sometimes.
But I do try my best to :-)

Yeah feel free to chat anytime, can't guarantee i'll cheer you up but i'll try :-D
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Re: feel like giving up

Postby Taz » Thu May 29, 2014 4:59 pm

well things are much the same
just watched this film
quite touching, and just had my sister over from Aus which was nice and she was a big help
now she has gone home it feels a bit empty around the house. the mail always seem to be bills these days
phone calls just sales, don't seem to get any adult company of the kind i wan't or need, feel like billy no mates
no wonder i feel depressed. I even got a nice new hifi system as a swap for my vintage gear, i got a very good deal but even that hasn't cheered me up, i think i'm lonely among other things :(
NEVER EVER GIVE UP OR IT'S ALL OVER
Taz
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Posts: 56
Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:46 pm

Re: feel like giving up

Postby denys » Thu May 29, 2014 10:45 pm

Taz have you thought about looking for a support group or such like, maybe your doc might know of some groups that you might be able to join, it might help with your loneliness and just give you something else to focus on
Denys

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