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The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - I've lost the will



I've lost the will

Any tips on what helps you including alternative medicine.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

I've lost the will

Postby Lorraine » Mon Feb 06, 2006 1:46 pm

Hi, I've had FM for about 12 years but have never felt as bad as I do now. I've completely lost the will to take part in normal daily life, I don't have the energy any more. I work full time in a sedentary job in the Civil Service but have about 30 minutes drive each way. I have to get up early on the days I have my youngest son to take him to school, leaving the house at 8.30. I take ages to come round in the mornings and getting up early nearly kills me. When I get home each night I'm completely zonked. I'm recently divorced but have a new supportive partner but he works in a responsible job and travels to London most days (from Sheffield). I've had a written warning from work about my sick absence - 50 days in a year and I'm up before the Decision Maker on Fiday who will decide whether to sack me, downgrade me or make me go part time. I've been through considerable stress over the last few years and told my employer, I also gave them all the facts about FM (I've worked here 24 years). They gave me an extra allowance for the number of days sick but I've exceeded it. I have to pay half the mortgage to my ex husband as he stayed in the house so I can't afford to go part time yet. I'm sitting here in work at a loss what to do. I know people will say I should work fewer hours but it's not an option just now. I spend all day at work longing to go home. I've started to get quite bad palpitations when I do anything, even a short walk to the teapoint. Is this connected with FM? I'm caving in and don't know what to do about it. :(
Lorraine
 

Struggling to work

Postby angel_on_fire » Mon Feb 06, 2006 3:03 pm

Hi

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time of it at the moment - i think even if we all had totally stress free lives with plenty of money and support this horrible condition would still test the patience of a saint!

I am in a similar position (but less difficult due to no mortgage or children to take care of) with work and they are on the verge of sacking me for too many sick days/not doing as good a job as i did b4 i got sick

The thing is - how can you win? You need to earn money so you drag yourself into work when anyone with half a brain can see its killing you to do so - spend your day frantically trying to keep up with a workload that is impossible to meet when your arms dont work, your head is full of cotton wool and it feels like someone is alternately sticking knives in you and injecting acid into your muscles - then, when you finally get home you are too tired and in too much pain to be of any use at all! This is my life at the moment and at 25 i have to say IT SUCKS!!

So..... i cant really offer you any useful advice as how to get out of the vicious circle we are in (i could really do with some myself to be honest!) Other than hang on in there and take every day as it comes. Try, try try not to worry - as i have discovered its only us that suffer for it! -
and i hope someone in the forum with more wisdom then i will be able give you some more useful advice as to how to best deal with your worries.

Take care & best wishes

Angel on fire
"In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls" Lenny Bruce
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Coping

Postby mairi » Tue Feb 07, 2006 12:06 am

I was moved by your plight and am going to suggest/ask a few things.
1) You need an independent advisor. In my experience Personel Officers are not always the best source of help. Wonder if you can find one to discuss all the issues.
.2) Ask for options or any decision made to be put in writing. Am not knowledgable about the Civil Service but you should have rights after working in it for so long.
3) Consider buying the Bach Rescue Remedy, available in local chemists now. Many people take the drops in times of stress, myself included.
4)Stress gives rise to terrible stomach cramps and chest pain so work out what you are going to eat that morning and take water at work to ease the throat problems.

You do not say whether you have family nearby to help out with practical tasks, moral support etc. Can a trusted person help out with the school run?

You will not be able to work out anything until the outcome of Friday's meeting so take care of yourself and just focus on this week. Perhaps you could let us know how you get on.
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Postby BuffyBoo » Tue Feb 07, 2006 3:16 am

Hi Lorraine,
I'm almost in the same position, I've been off 6 months and will be off another 4 at least.....but am waiting for all the sh*t to hit the fan.
Firstly have you got a union and if so has the rep been of any help. Secondly, there is a diability liason officer or something based at the job centre who may be able to advise you.
How old are your kids? I have 3. They help me a lot!
Accept your limitations, you are not superwoman and your body needs a rest, will it kill anyone to wear unironed clothes?.... will you die if the hoovering or dusting doesn't get done for a week or two? As long as your kitchen and bathrooms are hygienic ( not necessarily spotless)you can let other stuff slip.
Rest when you can. Accept you have bad days and enjoy when you have good and right now it may feel like you haven't had a good day in forever but tomorrow might be a good day.
I'm sending positive vibes to you via the ether.....hope they help in some small way.
BuffyBoo
Sometimes my mind wanders, sometimes it leaves altogether!
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Postby Yorkie1 » Wed Feb 08, 2006 4:21 pm

Yorkie1
 

Postby dee » Thu Feb 09, 2006 1:04 am

dee
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