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The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - how can i explain to my nine year old



how can i explain to my nine year old

Any tips on what helps you including alternative medicine.

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how can i explain to my nine year old

Postby hack1971 » Fri Oct 09, 2009 11:47 am

:D how do i explain to my nine year old that i cant do the things i used to do with her,im finding it very difficult at times and she sees me struggling to walk most days and even i find it hard to except.to top it all off i might not be able to my job
nikki
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Re: how can i explain to my nine year old

Postby shazq » Fri Oct 09, 2009 4:46 pm

Hi Nikki
The best advice i can give you is just be honest to her, try to explain in plain English what you are feeling and what is happening to your body.
You could explain that you have a neuro problem, your brain is giving your body the wrong signals, say that you hurt everywhere and some days will be worse then others.
Let her know you love her but your body will not let you do the fun things that you used to do with her.
Dont blame yourself, fibro found us unfortunately.

Good luck. :hugs:
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
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Re: how can i explain to my nine year old

Postby gillshutt » Fri Oct 09, 2009 9:39 pm

Can't add more than Shaz has said, just be honest, she's old enough to understand the basics. If you explain that things hurt 5x more than they should so any little pain becomes a big pain and you get pain for no reason at all so somedays you just can't do things without it hurting a lot she should be ok with that.
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Re: how can i explain to my nine year old

Postby smiler22 » Fri Oct 09, 2009 9:54 pm

my friend has too 9 year old girls. and they too still try to get me to do what i used to...... if im having a bad day i just tell them. im sorry girls i cant join in today as im having one of my funny days. i say that my legs are not doing what i want them to do. and that i feel like i want to sleep.... if they try to sit on my knee and cuddle me i just tell them i need a puppy cuddle as im tender to touch because of the pain. they used to have a puppy and was told to cuddle them gently. so they understand this. for the noise if they get to noisy and i have to go out of the room they usually come after me and ask whats wrong so i just say i have a fussy head. where it extra loud. they describe it as being in a room where you can hear a siren like a fire alarm and you want to get away from the noise. and i just say exactly like that........

i find if you can give them an example of something that they may have dealt with then that is something they can get there heads round........ the pain i describe like when you fall over and your knee bleeds and it really hurts. my pain is ten times as worse than that and doesnt go away. they seem to understand that.

they have gotten upset at times that they dont like what i have . but i always say if i cant go on the swings like i used to to make me happy by showing me what they can do now. how high they can go, how fast they can go down the swing. etc etc .. make up a dance to my favourite music. as i can no longer dance etc.


they understand pretty good. i also tell them i love them as much as i did before. then i try to do some activities with them like painting etc or making mud cakes etc.
live life to the full as life is what you make itxx
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Re: how can i explain to my nine year old

Postby hack1971 » Sat Oct 10, 2009 11:19 am

thanks all for the tips i will give them a try,and im sure we can come up with something my daughter is good i must admit and i cant ask for anything other than that.





thanks again for giving these tips nikki :hugs:
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Re: how can i explain to my nine year old

Postby dollydaydream » Sat Oct 10, 2009 8:10 pm

It's just anidea - but at 9, my daughter was able to understand the spoons theory - would your's also be able to grasp it at this basic level?

Best Wishes

Sarah xx
Sending you love and light

Sarah xxx
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Re: how can i explain to my nine year old

Postby abelarde » Sun Oct 11, 2009 4:25 pm

I am glad that my six year old understand her mama, she has no problems accepting the fact that I can't run and jump with her like before. She can even pronoune the word 'fibromyalgia' accurately!
I would keep company her like reading book ,watching TV and just talking to her makes her day. I would played pillow game with her when my condition allowed.
Hope your little one is just like mine :D !
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Re: how can i explain to my nine year old

Postby princess » Sun Oct 11, 2009 8:23 pm

My daughter was only 10 when i took this illness, and i say if you are honest and dont make a drama out of it they will understand, we dont give them credit enough for what they actually understand.
My wee grandaughter says up! Gran, and before i say i cant honey, she chirps back ok gran lauren needs a cuddle and we have big cuddles instead!!!!! she smiles, but it beaks my heart all the things id like to do with her and i cant.
Im lucky my MUm only got to see my daughter for a few months and my sonfor 2 years before she went above.
So at least i am here and we can enjoy what we can.
She is only a few months off 3.
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Re: how can i explain to my nine year old

Postby messy » Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:59 pm

Hi Nikki. I have always explained everything as honestly as possible to my daughter using the correct terminology, encouraging her to ask questions of anything that she did not understand, which enabled me to adjust things to a level that she could understand. When she was 5 yrs old we discovered that my brother had Beckers Muscular Dystrophy, and that the problem that she experienced when trying to run up stairs was because girls both carry the genes and can also be affected by them. That when she got older and had male children they could be like her uncle. Over the years I have had to explain many things including hysterectomy, brain tumour surgery, going bankrupt and now fybromyalgia. The reason I am telling you all this is that my daughter is now 18 years old, she is very caring, self assured, and empathetic, In many ways she has a maturity beyond her years, but is still a kid at heart. Anyway, at 18 she is able to tell me that she really appreciates the way that there was and is always open discussion in our home, she feels able to confide in us, and know that we wil not be judgemental. Her friends have become our friends because we have always been the same with them. The only problem is if your 9 year old, has friends whose parents want them kept in the dark,.... but then thats their problem..... you have enough to deal with. I would also recommend that she do a web search, (I bet shes great on the computer, ) Then she may be empowered to teach you something about fibro as well as ask lots of complecated questions. If shes old enough to ask, shes old enough to recieve an answer. Hope that this helps, Ness.
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