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The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - Does Anyone Else Have Small Children?



Does Anyone Else Have Small Children?

Any tips on what helps you including alternative medicine.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

Does Anyone Else Have Small Children?

Postby tee2072 » Sun Oct 11, 2009 10:11 am

I have a 4 month old son. Some days it is very hard to care for him due to the pain. Obviously, I just push through it and do what needs to be done, and I adore my son.

But does anyone else have small children? Do you have any coping strategies?

Thanks!
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Re: Does Anyone Else Have Small Children?

Postby abelarde » Sun Oct 11, 2009 3:19 pm

Hi, although I was only diagnose with fibo Oct 08, but guess I must have it long time ago. I have three daughters, age 12, 10 & 6. The one I have most problems is the youngest. Just like what you have mentioned, at time (some may say most of the time) the pain make it difficult to babysit a young child.
I work full time with my husband works overseas, only coming back home a few times a year (not more than 1 weeks on each visit). Eventhough I employ a full time domastic helper, I insisted on taking care of my three girls at night, and the four of us sleep in the same room,.
It had been tough and I really don't konw how I made it, not to mention I did not apply any sick leave for the past 5 years!
My advise is seek help if you think you cannot cope, ask help from close family members, relatives who live near you, or even neighbour. Explain to them that this is only a temperory plan, if these don't work out, why not consider putting your baby at a nearby childcare?
This may not be the best soultions as I don't live in UK, and I am a chinese whose culture is verey different from you guys.
Take care :hugs:

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Re: Does Anyone Else Have Small Children?

Postby barberelle » Mon Oct 12, 2009 2:49 pm

Hello, I'm new on the forum and was only recently diagnosed. I have 4 children, 7 two at 5 and a 2 year old. When it all first started My youngest was under 1.
It is very hard caring for others, when your in so much pain and yourself. Especially having a new baby. Sleepless nights and Fatigue anyway. Not a good combination :(
I guess, I just pace myself and take plenty of rest in between. As pp said ask for help, where/if possible but whatever you do, don't be too hard on yourself :D
Jo :hugs:
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Re: Does Anyone Else Have Small Children?

Postby shrimp » Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:06 pm

hi tee

i have 2 1/2 year old twin boys and they are on the go all day long now !!!!.......i was diagnosed with fibro 6 months ago after many visits/complaints to my gp that all these things happening where not in my head or due to twin pregnancy.
my fibro kicked off after c section for the twins........am sure of it.
when your baby sleeps - you try and rest...or at least sit down and relax - read a book or watch a dvd - do something for you....forget the washing and housework for a while.......pace yourself and dont try and be superwoman and do everything....i am very stubborn and hate having to ask my partner to help me with (most) things due to really bad hand weakness.......i struggle to pick my boys up and cannot walk any distance holding them.........if you have anyone that can help you then take it.....otherwise you could make yourself worse.
you will have really down days and have days where baby is driving you insane - but dont feel guilty about that - get help from someone so you can go and chill.
we only have the help of 80 year old mother in law and its been really really tough - but you can and will get thru it......
pm me is you want to get anything off your chest !!!...
take care
shrimp xx
I like to make people laugh xxx
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Re: Does Anyone Else Have Small Children?

Postby gillshutt » Tue Oct 13, 2009 7:52 am

I'm 51 and my youngest is now six although I've had FM for years. The only advice I can gove is to rest with your baby. Don't use the time they are asleep to run round getting things done. The housework can be left until there is someone else to help or even for longer. Your health is more important. If you are finding it really difficult have a word with your health visitor or surgery ((xx))
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Re: Does Anyone Else Have Small Children?

Postby tee2072 » Tue Oct 13, 2009 9:24 am

Thanks everyone. I do try to rest when he rests. And luckily he is quite good about sitting in his bouncy chair for 20 minutes or so at a time, which gives me a chance to catch my breath!

My biggest issue is that he is a big boy, at already 2 feet long and over 16 pounds at 4 months. I have no idea how I am going to cope as he gets bigger and bigger!!! But I am sure I'll manage.

My husband is wonderful at taking over when he's home, but, of course, he works during the week. He does take the boy as soon as he gets home, though! And does most of the care at weekends.

My son is my miracle baby and I adore him, but some days....
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Re: Does Anyone Else Have Small Children?

Postby gillshutt » Tue Oct 13, 2009 10:41 am

I know exactly how you feel and it doesn't get easier just different. They are still a pain when they grow up :roll: Make the most of the years when you are their one and only love before the X box and things take over :lol:

Make sure you bend your knees when you are bending to pick him up, use your knees and legs to help you lift otherwise you'll end up doing your back in. Arrange the sofa with cushions etc so you can support your arms while holding him... I have to do this when I'm on the laptop now, a cushion under my left arm to hold it up.

You'll be surprised at how soon the time goes and he'll be running around the house on his own, able to climb up to you for a cuddle etc. If he's like my two boys you've only got 4 or 5 more months before he's walking :shock:
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Re: Does Anyone Else Have Small Children?

Postby princess P » Wed Oct 14, 2009 11:07 am

Hi I have 3 girls aged 10, 5 and 3 and it is hard going to say the least. I cant seem to keep my eyes open half the time after 5pm and i feel like such a bad mother, i allways seem to be saying no we can't do this mummy cant drive that far or mum cant manage that today. I am also a full time student this is my last year and i have to step it up a gear and also stay awake. mine are on holidays at the moment and all there doing is fighting its doing my head in. :crazy:
Hi any one I have a preliminary diagnosis of chronic widespread pain syndrome, whatever that is but g.p. is convinced its F.M. Sending out good vibes to all . x
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Re: Does Anyone Else Have Small Children?

Postby natjoshlib » Sat Oct 17, 2009 10:29 am

Hi

I have 3 children 8 and 5 years old and a 15 monthold baby girl.

My fibro started when I was pregnant with Libby my youngest and I have really struggled with asking for help. I always ran my house myself, Hubby worked I was the housewife kids cleaning dinner etc.

I am now lucky if I can get the little one dressed and changed without help. She is walking and now manages to get herself up on the sofa so we can change her up there as getting down on the floor is a no no.

My hubby bless him has to do everything for the boys in the morning and take them to school I really miss that, I then need someone to pick them up from school. It's very rare that I can cook dinner because of the shakes, jerks and cramps.

I feel utterly depressed by all the things i can no longer do and I am slowly starting to get used to the idea that this is just how things are at the moment.

I am trying to find a way at the moment as to how I can go out of the house with my youngest when I have to be in a mobility scooter and she can only walk with reins on and a very short distance not something I can do in my scooter I don't like having her on my lap as I don't feel safe. I need someon to please design a sidecart or something similar to go on a scooter for babies to ride it. Might have to take it on dragons den lol.


Something I have just been granted is social care, help with cooking a dinner, social care to take me out of the house and some respite care for my hubby.

I have also been allocated some hours of help by a company called homestart and they are going to be helping me take Libby to mumd and tots as I feel she is missing out on all that.

There is free or funded help out there i you ask.

Good luck with everything xx
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Re: Does Anyone Else Have Small Children?

Postby Elsbeth » Mon Oct 19, 2009 11:02 am

Hi, I also have a young child.

Grace is 15 months old and it is so so hard.
I am getting weaker as time goes on and am now at a point where I am having trouble picking her up. Infact I nearly dropped her a couple of weeks back.

I think there came a point where I had to admit I was having problems and ask my OT for a social Services referal. They will find ways of helping me adapt to having a young child and will also help me with care for her when I am having a really bad time of it.

We are also looking to my OH quitting work and becoming my full time carer as we have the baby as well and it isn't fair that she has to suffer without being held as much as she deserves.

If you have friends and family that can help.. do ask as you will find it makes a big difference.
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Re: Does Anyone Else Have Small Children?

Postby Louisa » Thu Nov 05, 2009 11:40 pm

My little one is now four. When she was a tiny baby though I was so ill I often couldn't lift her. As I was a single mum this was a massive problem. I was breastfeeding and sometimes I was too scared to even attempt to lift her, so would lie next to her on her mat on the floor and breastfeed her down there. Unfortunately I got stuck down there for lengthy periods on more than one occasion :roll:

A few things things that did work for me though were;

She slept in bed with me. That way I was always there when she needed me regardless of my ability to move properly.

Once she was on solids I fed her naked then re-dressed her afterwards (less washing).

If in a desperate situation where lifting to different levels was really hard but I needed to put her somewhere safe for a few minutes, I would put her in her pushchair indoors. It is a close level to sofa height, as opposed to say a baby bouncer which involves bending.

Sleep or rest when baby does, as much as possible.

Give up all worry regarding living in a show home. If it's safe, and all family members are well cared for that's all that matters.

For solid food for baby go there is nothing wrong with simple things like mashed banana. If you feel rough it takes seconds.


Try to keep all mess in one zone of the house. It's less hassle to cope with.

Bathing her was a nightmare for me at times. If it is really hard on a particular day just don't do it. Babies are fine with a wash.

When you make food make extra and keep it for when you are unwell. That way if you can't manage to make food you will have something pre-prepared.

Hassle your GP/ health visitor into helping you. I didn't do this but I wish I had. The organisation Sure Start may also be worth contacting for help.

Good luck! (It is all worth it and you will manage) :D
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Re: Does Anyone Else Have Small Children?

Postby Miss sleepy » Sun Jan 17, 2010 11:28 am

Would definitely recommend going to sure start as they have volunteers that can help around the house. My boy is 4 now and have been on my own since he was 7 months. My new partner moved in in august and it was only then that health visitor said about home help... When I've now got some!
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Re: Does Anyone Else Have Small Children?

Postby lesley 80 » Sun Jan 17, 2010 4:59 pm

hi, my step daughter is 9 now but i've been with her dad since she was three. I agree with everything thats been said. Nap when they nap and do as little as you can cope with around the house. Most clothes don't need ironed as long as you fold them when they are dry and any creases that are there come out as you wear them.

When your child gets older children are incredibly understanding if you chat with them about what you can and can't do. My daughter understood form an ealr yage that some days mommy just couldn't do certain things. Now it is her who tells me to go to bed.

Fibro is extrmely hard, we have just had to put our desire for more kids on hold until my pain levels are better as i can hardly cope with the three of us let alone any more.

Just do your best and feel free to ask as many questions as you want. we are here for you. :hugs:
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