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The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - how do you help someone ...



how do you help someone ...

Any tips on what helps you including alternative medicine.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

how do you help someone ...

Postby Joanne C » Mon Dec 14, 2009 10:57 am

thats in such a black mood, that they say they dont want to be happy? I have a friend who is really, really upset and down, and Ive tried everything i can think of to help her snap out of it, but its not worked. any ideas on how i can help her ...? (she has said she doesnt want help but I feel that she needs it)
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Re: how do you help someone ...

Postby LinzWorld » Mon Dec 14, 2009 1:52 pm

That's really tough. If someone doesn't want to be helped, there is not a lot you can do. Would they go out for a coffee or something? Sometimes something basic can help but if they're seriously depressed, they need to go and see their GP and although you could offer to go with them, you can't force them to go or talk to their GP about them without their permission.
I run FibroAction, a small national charity raising awareness of Fibromyalgia Syndrome. I am not a qualified healthcare professional. If you would like medical references for any facts quoted, just PM me.
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Re: how do you help someone ...

Postby *Lisa* » Mon Dec 14, 2009 3:04 pm

I have been in that situation and i had to admit defeat with them...

I felt i had let them down by not helping them BUT as Linz says you can only do your best and as the saying goes you can lead a horse to water but cant make them drink...

I would now sit back and let them come to you...

Keep reasuring them that your there for them anytime

If you keep on helping them then you'll get exhausted and hurt as i felt my best was no good so in the end i came away really down

I had to except that i had done all i could and if they needed me i was always there.

:hugs:
As a Public Moderator & Admin of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia...Lisa
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Re: how do you help someone ...

Postby Joanne C » Mon Dec 14, 2009 3:21 pm

i took her out for a coffee yesterday, but she just sat and cried all the time. i did snap at her as i wanted to help, was doing my best to help her, but she just doesnt want to be helped.
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Re: how do you help someone ...

Postby LinzWorld » Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:16 pm

If it's depression, she won't be able to snap out of it. All you can do is try and convince her to see her GP or a counsellor.
I run FibroAction, a small national charity raising awareness of Fibromyalgia Syndrome. I am not a qualified healthcare professional. If you would like medical references for any facts quoted, just PM me.
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Re: how do you help someone ...

Postby unigirl1981 » Tue Dec 15, 2009 8:08 pm

I agree with Linz it seems that she has very bad depression.

all you can do is make it clear ou are there and find out info for other sources of advice. leave her th edetails nd ask her f she wants you to make an appointment and you will go with her.

if she is still stuck deep in the rut then you will have to stand back and, as hard as it is, let her come to you.

always be there for her and always be avaliable when she calls etc but unless she is in danger to herself theres nothing you can do.

if you do ever think she is at risk to hersef then you must call for help. an ambulance or the out of hours gp service.
Just because you have to park in a blue bay doesn't make you any less of a person!

I am the Chair of Doncaster and District Fibromyalgia Support Group; working with FMAUK and loving it.
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Re: how do you help someone ...

Postby gillshutt » Wed Dec 16, 2009 3:32 am

If you are worried about what she might do then find out who her gp is and call them, tell them you are seriously worried about her and could they come out to see her... be there when they come if you can otherwise she may send them away. I have been in the same situation and called the gp out to my friend.

If she isn't a risk to herself and others then you just have to let her get on with it. Let her know you will be there for her if she needs someone.
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Re: how do you help someone ...

Postby Mr.A » Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:58 pm

It depends on exactly what is wrong with them and what their situation is. Make a judgement as to whether their reaction to life is warrented or is the person sad despite having a good life.

Try not to take it personally if you can't help them.
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Re: how do you help someone ...

Postby LinzWorld » Fri Dec 18, 2009 10:23 am

They probably won't come and see anyone without their specific request unless you ahve it in writing that you can discuss their medical matters with their GP.
I run FibroAction, a small national charity raising awareness of Fibromyalgia Syndrome. I am not a qualified healthcare professional. If you would like medical references for any facts quoted, just PM me.
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Re: how do you help someone ...

Postby Joanne C » Tue Dec 22, 2009 3:10 pm

her boyfriend of two weeks broke up with her. think she really liked him, but now think its back on. although she wont admit this.
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