Not being truthful about how u feel honestly

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Not being truthful about how u feel honestly

Postby ouchisme » Sun Mar 13, 2011 12:20 pm

Morn all

Hope every1s day is going ok and that pain levels are manageable. Just a quick q. To ur loved 1s, friends, work colleagues etc do u put a front on when asked how u r? IE say yes im having a fairly good day to day, when infact ur not? Worried that they'll get bored of u 'moaning' or 'complaining', so u just keep ur mouth shut? Even bending the truth from bhind ur keyboard to the forums that u talk on? All answers greatly received x
Had symptoms for 5yrs. Dx February 2011
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Re: Not being truthful about how u feel honestly

Postby viota » Sun Mar 13, 2011 2:09 pm

No i tell them like it is and they call me a hypochondriac which im mad about.
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Not being truthful about how u feel honestly

Postby lrgatrell88 » Sun Mar 13, 2011 2:29 pm

I tell everyone I'm fine or if I'm really bad just say I'm having a bad day but don't give details. Especially on the school run. I even find myself tryin to walk without limpin when I take my son to school and pick him up. Mayb i should b more honest with people. Lol.
The only person I was really honest with was my ex. We broke up recently mainly because of the fibro. It's a tough one. X
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Re: Not being truthful about how u feel honestly

Postby sjc » Sun Mar 13, 2011 4:01 pm

Hi. Hope your all ok, as well...I know what you mean. I not very good at showing my true feelings, as I dont want people to think i'm a hypocondriac or moaning....plus, I think people like to put a brave face on, even when we are ill. Lukily, im able to open up more on this forum as you all know about fms. But most people in the real world do not care or want to understand fm or any other illness. I had people thinking I am putting it or it's fm isn't a geniune illness , so I get to the stage where I dont want to talk about my true feelings. It's like when I go to my gp, they to me ' how are you?' I laugh to myself, as I think to myself, 'well, am obviously got some problem, so I am not going to turn around and say I'm doing brilliant.' LOL...take care folks. :coffee2:
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Re: Not being truthful about how u feel honestly

Postby Roseofsharon » Sun Mar 13, 2011 5:06 pm

It depends on who i'm taking to. Most people get a weak i'm ok or will be ok because I don't open up easily. However I have a couple me select friends i.e my best friends who know the full whack. Like viota i've also been called a hypochondriac by someone very close to me, which resulted in some rows. I have it but there you go.
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Re: Not being truthful about how u feel honestly

Postby ouchisme » Sun Mar 13, 2011 9:25 pm

:wave: all

Right fair is fair my turn to answer honestly (gulp). My youngest daughter (11) is trying to ignore all of it cos its scares her. Ive had body probs all her life, it just seems to me that its her denial for self preservation. My eldest daughter is 15, and u all know how hard it is trying to get teenagers to listen to u. IE chores that need doing, my personal care (they whinge bout dressing me), that i cant concentrate (fibro fog), all the other exciting stuff we have to put up with. My partner finds it v hard to see me in pain but there isn't anything that he could to help. Ive tried to explain proper 2 my children but it just feels like theydont care :banghead: :cry: Dont have many friends left as being housebound they all have busy lives etc. But if i do see sum1 cos my girls have taken out in my wheelchair, i'll always say 'the norm high pain levels, nothing new really etc'. But not truely honest, i must admit. Can't get my head round it all at the mo myself, never mind explaining to other ppl.
Thanx so much for ur honest replies. Took alot of courage to b truthful on an open forum. Lots of soft :hugs: x jenny
Had symptoms for 5yrs. Dx February 2011
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Re: Not being truthful about how u feel honestly

Postby Ldyalb » Sun Mar 13, 2011 9:50 pm

It's a hard one to get right - when I was at work I was called a hypochondriac by management, they also had the cheek to tell me to be honest with my team about how I was feeling rather than the standard 'I'm good/fine/ok' but as soon as I said 'actually I'm in a lot of pain and spent most of last night on the sofa unable to move' I was told off for being too negative and distancing myself from the team with my lack of a positive attitude!!! :shock: :roll: :crazy:

Luckily no-one close to me has called me a hypochondriac. I think I'd flip if they did :evil:
'Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy' - Anne Frank

TMJ, RLS, HMS, Fibro, Dyspraxia - ASD + Dyscalculia overlap, Eczema + Rosacea + suspected Psoriatic Arthritis.

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Re: Not being truthful about how u feel honestly

Postby bexfitz » Mon Mar 14, 2011 7:36 pm

I find it easier just to plaster on a smile and get on with it..........ESPECIALLY at work. Some don't believe in the condition at all, so I no longer bother. My husband however is not so easy to fool. he's REALLY cross with me as I have stopped taking dihydrocodeine and just take the usual and paracetamol. can't be arsed anymore. :swear1: :swear1: :swear1: Then i cry when I get home (work don't like it if I cry there)... thank god for my dog.............if he could talk................... :| :?:
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Re: Not being truthful about how u feel honestly

Postby budda » Mon Mar 14, 2011 11:23 pm

I dont say to much when am bad,just stay out of peoples way,there is a group of friends that OH and i have known for 20years and when they ask us to meet up, if am bad i just say i have a migraine,(before i took ill )there is one lady of the group who always came to night outs with us and still does, nobody wants to sit next to her becuase all she does is moan about how ill she feels,the rest of the group moan about it and say why does she come if she is so ill, they say they are sick listening to her, most of the group dont have much wrong with them, Its true that old saying, if its not happening to ME, I dont want to know, that is why i dont tell to many people about MY illness.
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Re: Not being truthful about how u feel honestly

Postby ouchisme » Mon Mar 14, 2011 11:50 pm

Oh budda and bexfitz,

It must b v upsetting for u both :hugs: If i see people when out and about (norm on the way to the shop), if i no them quite well, i will say that i'm really bad or the norm pain and probs etc. There are alot of people that ask, but its just good manners, they don't really want an answer either way that drives me :x but to them its 'same all same all. If i didnt smile and muck about i'd :cry: ' They don't obviously know that its quite true with the tears and bad gloomy days.
Does talking frankly here help in some way? Even tho its not face to face? Apart from my immediate family, i would love to b more honest when i post replies or start topics. But i have huge pride, the, don't want to show that i'm not coping etc. I'm norm a v outgoing person but 'shes' taking a break at the mo. lots and lots of soft :hugs: Hope to speak to both again :fingerscrossed: x
Had symptoms for 5yrs. Dx February 2011
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Re: Not being truthful about how u feel honestly

Postby shrimp » Tue Mar 15, 2011 12:24 am

ok my turn......i try and just say am ok.....my partner now knows when its bad day cos i am really withdrawn, snap at the kids, and generally look totally vacant......but i dont tell him how bad i really feel, just fed up boring him about it, i tell his mum (80 later this week) that not too bad as she says she understands but tells her son (my partner) in her day they got on with it........one of the mothers on school run has ME so i talk to her....bu tthen feel bad telling her how sh*t i feel when she feels the same !!!!.....
still trying to get head round it after 4 years of symptoms...with new ones popping up ......
shrimp xx
I like to make people laugh xxx
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Re: Not being truthful about how u feel honestly

Postby budda » Tue Mar 15, 2011 1:17 am

Thanks for the soft :hugs: ouchisme, my family dont see me when am at my worst, i dont want them to, they do know i have FM and other problems, i have showen them info of what i have, and they say that am not as bad as that, they have know clue, head down toilet pan, cant move with the pain, my OH is the only one who has seen all of this.
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Re: Not being truthful about how u feel honestly

Postby cherryblossom » Wed Mar 16, 2011 9:36 pm

Hi All. Well, a straight answer - No, I'm not honest, not with myself or anyone else usually! :nono: My family live the other side of the country so I can say what I like really as they can't see. They do visit and of course have to stay, but altho they now know about fibro, I just get on and do everything as normally as possible, I grit my teeth thru all the pain and just keep popping the pills! As for friends - well, my longest known mate lives the other side of country too so when she sees me I do the same, I am dreading the day when she sees me as I really am :oops: . My friends closest to me at home ( I only have one I see as often as possible) altho I chat alot, when we go out I just make excuses about stuff and just make sure I'm as prepared as I can be and keep my pills topped up. To my OH and the 'kids' (in their 20's) they are getting used to me - especially the fogginess and memory loss bit they're really good and helpful with :crazy: . As for everything else - I just keep going, they can see I'm in alot of pain and sometimes offer to help but I refuse as I'm too stubborn for my own good, so I'm daft to myself really! But the other day OH did sit down with me and tell the kids they must help around the house as he's noticed I really can't cope with it all. I'm still trying to get my head around it all really. I hardly ever give in until I am in so much pain I really can't move. I once broke my ankle and didn't get it seen to! Sadly some of it has been the way I've been brought up - we are a farming family thru and thru and have always had to just 'get on' with it. My mother is from London and has always had that 'all keep going blitz spirit thing' about her :mrgreen: . No offence meant to anyone. Both my parents worked thru everything, my father visited the doc once in 30 years so you can see what I mean! This is about as honest as I've been for a long time. I hate putting it in writing, I feel as though I'm admitting to it and giving up. :oops: Anyone else feel like this? And as usual I've gone on again - sorry! :roll: loadsa gentle :grouphug: to all.
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Re: Not being truthful about how u feel honestly

Postby ouchisme » Wed Mar 16, 2011 10:29 pm

cherryblossom :hugs:
U r xactly like me, stubborn and in a way dont want to look weak. Just the thought of people doing things for me makes me cringe and :oops: . I have to ask my girls to dress my lower half of my body and i dont want to ask my OH cos find it really :oops: Hes supposed to take them off not put them on :wink: I asked him to put my knickers on for the 1st time today, we've bin together for 18mths :!: :!: :!: The only time ive been honest is speaking to all of u lovely people who are helping me try to get my head around it all. For that im truly grateful :flowers:
My physio has said that see it as not giving in, but as self preservation so that 'we' hopefully do my with our lives. What do u think :?: Other members can answer that q too. I'm :oops: to say that i won't have that chance but other people hopefully will :fingerscrossed: I nearly PM'd u as u 'sounded' quite :( and i wanted to offer my support. When i hear about ur life on here, im in total awe of what u seem to accommplish every day. I really dont know how u do it in the pain that u r in, but still carry on. But mayb my physio is right and we all really need to 'do as we told', what do think :?:
Take care and get some proper rest, esp aft all the new lambs that have been born
Lots and lots of soft :hugs: x
Had symptoms for 5yrs. Dx February 2011
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Re: Not being truthful about how u feel honestly

Postby Jojostar » Thu Mar 17, 2011 9:35 pm

Hi everyoneI do the same I hide away like a hermit,if I do see anyone I know I get really embarrassed as I'm not how I used to be,I used to be really outgoing and took pride in my appearance,now I don't bother(am still in pjs). I'm really withdrawn oh is only one who sees me bad,even then don't think he truly understands how desperate I am,I just keep popping the tabs,vie nothing to say to anyone as I'm rarely out over the door,I'm 42 and I feel about 80. Don't want everyone thinking I'm yapping so I just get on with it.. :banghead: ,
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