Back pain driving me insane HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

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Back pain driving me insane HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

Postby gwenmoon » Wed Aug 31, 2011 6:50 pm

I have had back pain for week now constantly. I have been having regular injections in my spine for the pain over the last four and half years since my accident.

I developed fibromyalgia about 3 months after my accident,but was not diagnosed until about 12 months ago. The last 6 weeks i have had constant back pain . I went into hospital yesterday after a nother lot of injections but since last night have been in even more pain. I know i have to give it a few days to settle down but its driving me to distraction.

my partner is being the biggest @r$& on the planet and has no idea what I am going through. This is making me so miserable , angry and fed up . I just don't know what to do anymore. I can go to work, I can't spend quality time with my daughter. I promised to take her away on holiday but I haven't been able to do anything with her , not even spend time in the garden.

I have trouble sitting and standing for more than 10 mins at a time. I can hardly walk. I can't sleep or lay down. I can not get comfortable. its taken me hour 1 hours to type this i have to keep getting up. So far today since 5am this morning i have taken 4 lots of cocodamol 30/500 1 lot of pregabalin 150 mg and 1 lot of tramadol 200mg sr and none of it is having any effect on the pain. They once gave me morphine patches which did kill the pain but made me really really ill.

my partner throws all his dirty clothes all over the floor,never tidies up or picks anything up. He leaves empty milk bottles in the fridge, sweet and biscuit wrappers everywhere. whinges at me if there are no clean clothes even when i have explained to him that i cannot carry them upstairs or even bend own to put the washing in the machine.

i have been asking him to help me but it just doesn't do anything to help me. If i ring him he takes the mickey out of me . He runs his own business and if i phone him he tells everyone there its a moan call.
I am so fed up, I have never done anything to hurt him, he just cannot except that I am ill. my life is so crap. I wish I had never had the accident, it was not my fault what Have i done to deserve this.Why is he being so bad to me. Sorry for the moan but I have no one to talk too and , i have no chance of talking to him he just doesn't care and doesn't want to know.
gwen :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
Last edited by denys on Wed Aug 31, 2011 6:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: broken down into smaller paragraphs x
Having someone to share with gets you through another day :-) Gwen x
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Re: Back pain driving me insane HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

Postby denys » Wed Aug 31, 2011 6:59 pm

Gwen so sorry to hear yo are suffering so badly with no help and support. I've edited your post to make it easier to take in.

your partner has got no right to take the mick out of you when you phoneespecially to other people, have you sat him down and told him how cruel he is being and how he is making you feel??

Does he understand your condition??? If he hasnt would printing out the 'one for non-believers' help?? Maybe asking him to read that and/or other info might help.

I think the main think is to keep talking to him, so he has no excuse to keep up his nasty behaviour, sending you some gentle :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: and :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: and some [chocolate] [chocolate] [chocolate] [chocolate] [chocolate] [chocolate] [chocolate] [chocolate] [chocolate] :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
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Re: Back pain driving me insane HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

Postby shazq » Wed Aug 31, 2011 7:20 pm

Hi Gwen
I would make him pick his own clothes up and put them in the washing machine, he would soon learn if he had no clean ones to put on. :clap: :clap: :tongueout:

You will have to sit him down and explain to him that he has to help you, print some info on fibro off and ask him to read it.

To save you from bending down, you can get a litter picker (think thats what they are called foggy head :facepalm: ) long stick with a griper on the end.

Have you tried physio for your back?

A Tens machine might help.or heat pads might help until the injection kicks in. :hugs:

Hope the injection kicks in soon. :hugs: :flowers:
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Re: Back pain driving me insane HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

Postby nutty1 » Wed Aug 31, 2011 7:24 pm

:yikes: gwen,i really feel for you .i suffer with my back amongst other probs and its very tiring .i think what denys said i have to agree with . :fingerscrossed: things improve soon . :flowers: :hugs:
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Re: Back pain driving me insane HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

Postby FluppyPuffy » Wed Aug 31, 2011 7:38 pm

My back has come out in sympathy with yours Gwen and with others suffering with theirs, I think we'll be in good company :blowkiss: :blowkiss:

There isn't much more I can really add to what has already been said. Sadly some people can't/won't/are unable to accept/cope when someone close to them has a long term condition :facepalm: :facepalm: If OH won't listen to what you want and need to say to him, could you write it out for him to read, maybe as a letter, and include how the various things he does and says upset you. Maybe including some info from on here could help get it thru to him.

If your back doesn't start to settle down soon, you might need a trip to see your GP to see what can be suggested to help you :fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed: the injection you've had starts to kick in soon for you :fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed:
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Re: Back pain driving me insane HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

Postby gwenmoon » Thu Sep 01, 2011 1:10 am

Thanks for all your replies. I have already done everything you have suggested . None of it seems to get though to him. I am very much in love with him but ever since he's started his own business and started working with a load of guys he's changed. his attitude stinks. I get torrent's of abuse form him and his mates, he never never did it before. I have been so subjected to this ridicule I hardly ever go into the business anymore, even though half of it is mine. They are always telling him stuff like, she's moaning again, why don't you leave her. what annoys me his he never sticks up for me and explain to them what is up with me and that I am in loads of pain.
we have a little girl who is only 6 and she understands more than any of them put together. when I am well enough to work I work my socks off to help and support him. I have stopped us going bankrupt several times,but non of this is appreciated when I am ill. All I get in return is their abuse. I walked into work one day and stood where they couldn't see me and the stuff they where saying about me broke my heart and he just joined in with them. So I walked out and went home. Spent the rest of the day in tears.

I just wish he had this pain for just one day to see what it was like. perhaps then he would understand. He is breaking my heart and upsetting me so much I no longer want to be here. Not only do I have to put up with my back pain and the fibro, but now his hurtful comments and ways. If the boot was on the other foot and it was him, i would tell all my mates to cut it out and treat me with some respect and tell them that he was going through hell, they are out of order.

I am at the end of the line with him and his mates and work employees they all think its funny and some sort of game,but its not it's my life they are taking the mick out of and are slowly destroying. its bad enough that the fibro and my injury had destroyed my life enough without some nasty people making it far worse. He's pushing me away and I am so scared I have no one else. just don't know what to do.
:cry: sorry if my typing is crap just can't stop crying
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Re: Back pain driving me insane HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

Postby shazq » Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:57 am

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: Gwen.
Sorry he is being a :pigoink 1: towards you, you dont deserve to be treated this way.

You should tell him what you heard that day you popped into work and how upset it has made you, also tell him that you are not happy with the way he is talking to you and treating you, if you dont say anything things will just get worse, the more he gets away with it the more he will continue.

Explain that fibro has changed your life and you cant do anything about it, its not your fault, you did not choose this.You are living in pain everyday and you are trying your best but need his help. Let him know how hurtful he is being towards you.

Let him know on the days where you feel you are able to do a few things you will but on bad days you just need a bit of support from him. :goodluck1:
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Re: Back pain driving me insane HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

Postby *Lisa* » Thu Sep 01, 2011 11:32 am

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

I cant put here exactly how i feel but i am so disgusted with how your being treated by them all :hugs:

Its bad enough as u say with the pain and all the pain killers and injections you have to take which in themselves causes problems

I would have to confront them all or email them and say you know whats been said and do a little bit on fibro and how dibilitating it is... just to show them its not funny! in fact i would want to :shooting: them all

You dont need this and your man should be supporting you instead of encouring them by not sticking up for you!!! maybe have a word with your OH and say you know whats being said and ask why hes not supporting you?

I would also only do the housework you can but mainly yours and your daughters and leave his for him!

maybe speak to your GP and ask him if he would have a word woth the OH on fibro and what your going through?

:hugs:
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Re: Back pain driving me insane HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

Postby denys » Thu Sep 01, 2011 2:16 pm

Gwen, I agree with Shaz and Lisa, so sorry you are suffering this bullying and that is what they are doing. The employees need to realise that the business is half yours and if they continue to attack you in the way they are doing you have the right to terminate their contract :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono:

So angry on your behalf and wish your OH was in front of my foot cos he'd get such a boot up the backside,(dont care if I suffer for the rest of the week) :swear1: :swear1: :swear1: :swear1: :swear1: :swear1: :swear1: :swear1: :swear1: :swear1: :swear1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :shooting: :shooting: :elephant: :elephant: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss:
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Re: Back pain driving me insane HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

Postby gwenmoon » Thu Sep 01, 2011 2:49 pm

Hi everyone, I am still in pain but its a little easier today. I emailed him a letter to tell him about the way I am feeling and what I am going through. I purposely sent to to the company email address so they all could see it.
He's been ringing regular today to see if I am ok. Perhaps its a start,but he still left all his dirty washing all over the the floor. Its still there I am not picking it up.

In fact I am going back to bed, been awake all night in pain. My daughter gone to her friends house and won't be back till 6pm and I don't care when he come home he can stay there all night for me. :( :sick: THANKS for your kind words BIG HUGS :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


Thank you its great to have fellow sufferers to talk too, I think sometimes its me I am the only one and I am going mad insane out of my head. Going to try and get some sleep :wave:
Having someone to share with gets you through another day :-) Gwen x
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Re: Back pain driving me insane HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

Postby denys » Thu Sep 01, 2011 2:58 pm

:fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed: you get some sleep Gwen and hopefully he'll start to see what he has done and what he has allowed others to do and start to put things right. Hope this make sense really foggy today :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
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Re: Back pain driving me insane HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

Postby shazq » Thu Sep 01, 2011 6:58 pm

Good for you Gwen. :hugs: :hugs: You are not asking much out of him. Be strong and dont take any more of their bullying, you dont deserve it. :hugs: :flowers: Hope you managed to get some :snore1: :snore1: :hugs:
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Re: Back pain driving me insane HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

Postby loubie » Thu Sep 01, 2011 7:16 pm

aw gwen :hugs: :hugs:
i hope things start to get better for you now
they sound like a load of school kids :evil:

hope your pain has settled now too :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
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Re: Back pain driving me insane HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

Postby tireesix » Fri Sep 02, 2011 2:29 am

This is probably not good advice BUT when my back is really bad, I find a benzo can help, some sort of sleeping tablet, not a whole one even, just a half.

Another thing that has helped my back and my sleeping is true muscle relaxants (not benzos). I am on tizanidine and really, the change to my sleep is amazing (when I sleep lol). I can still get a lot of pain, but my back has improved since.

Thing is, the back is complicated, stress makes your muscles tense causing back ache, headaches etc, being in pain makes your muscles tense...........

Maybe, if you have any spare money, seeing a massage therapist or trying something different like accupuncture might help. Sometimes just that 'space' you get with someone who is wholly centred on you can help.

I dunno. Just thoughts.
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Re: Back pain driving me insane HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

Postby diane1 » Mon Sep 05, 2011 4:33 pm

Hi i know exactly how you feel from all angles.

When my fibro started I was married to an abusive man and it was his actions that led me to get fibro. I managed to get the courage together to leave him with my children the youngest who was 5 at the time. It was the best decision of my life. I found like you that where I thought money would be a problem it wasnt as it was "him" who used to get us into debt and the added tax & child tax credits with my wages made me feel rich. Also the emotional side got better I was no longer dragged down by him etc so my fibro did improve for a short time.

I went on to find a wonderful man who'm I am now married to and is so supportive I dont know what i'd do without him. He cooks,cleans and looks after me, but he wont iron ! well you cant have it all I suppose !

My fibro has got steadily worse over the course of the last 6 years and now I dont work as I am in to much pain and have memory problems . I am just coming out of a bad flare up and my back has been agony. I take dihydrocodiene as the pain killer, prozac amf mirtazipine for the muscle relaxants and depression and temazipan to help me sleep.

I've found that hot water helps and have baths through the day and night to help the pain as well as hot water bottles. Dont do what I did though and put the boiling bottle directly on your back. I do this when the pain is really bad and it doesnt hurt it just takes the pain away for a short time in a funny sort of way. I know thins are really bad when I can do this BUT I have damaged my skin on my back and now have to see a dermatologist as the skin is scarred and damaged. So use a cover.

Hopefully if you can make your home life better and less stressful you'l manage the fibro a little better.

Have you shown your partner the poem for non belivers its helped lots of us explain the condition so it might help you.

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=4732&start=0
Good Luck

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