In Tears

For all your questions and experiences of illnesses associated with FM e.g. thyroid, IBS, TMJD etc.

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In Tears

Postby Ms Malaise » Sat Sep 03, 2011 12:34 pm

I am in tears because someone insists on responding to the debilitating nature of my CFS/ME by bashing me over the head with
:hit1: "You're not trying hard enough!" :hit1: Has anyone else here had to tolerate that sort of hurtful, frustrating nonsense? :cry:
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Re: In Tears

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sat Sep 03, 2011 12:49 pm

Is it someone on here using the :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: :hit1: in response to your posts, or are you talking about someone you know personally?? I know it sounds a bit of a daft question, but knowing if it's forum based or in life might mean we can provide you with a more suitable answer :dunno: :dunno:
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Re: In Tears

Postby Ms Malaise » Sat Sep 03, 2011 1:12 pm

Someone I know personally who hasn't bothered themselves to research CFS/ME fully.
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Re: In Tears

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sat Sep 03, 2011 1:24 pm

Have you tried giving them info from reputable sites that explain clearly what CFS/ME and how it can affect sufferers??
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Re: In Tears

Postby Ms Malaise » Sat Sep 03, 2011 1:28 pm

I have BUT the person is insisting that I am only as debilitated as I am because I am not pushing myself hard enough. Their lack of understanding is hurtful.
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Re: In Tears

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sat Sep 03, 2011 1:43 pm

All we can do is our best when trying to explain the nature of our illnesses/problems to help others understand. The thing we have no influence over is how much of it they take in/understand, and their opinions of things.

Unfortunately, there are always people who think we're lazy/making things up/wanting attention etc etc, and I've come across my fair share of them :facepalm: :facepalm:

Maybe working on the basis that, if they want to think things like that, it's up to them. But if they can't accept you or believe what things are like for you, then maybe they're not the sort of person that you'd really want to know/have anything to do with. Sadly, even those closest to you can have these sorts of thoughts which does make the hurt and frustration so much more cutting. But if that is what they think about your illness, then maybe they're finally showing their true colours and are not quite the person you thought they were.
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Re: In Tears

Postby Ms Malaise » Sat Sep 03, 2011 1:51 pm

I am so sorry that you have had a similar experience. As for "making things up/wanting attention" the same person has accused me of getting a secondary gain from being ill because being ill gets me attention which would make me a masochist and I am not a masochist which means the person is talking twaddle. "Cutting", VERY "cutting! :cry:
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Re: In Tears

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sat Sep 03, 2011 2:21 pm

These narrow minded people who make these comments seem to be the sort that thinks the entire universe revolves around them :facepalm: :facepalm: When something happens that draws attention away from them, they tend to start making these comments, not only to bring the attention back to them, but also to try and push away the reason for attention being diverted away from them (Hope that makes sense :? :? )

I found that sticking with those who accept me as FM-me helped as they also saw how the disbeliever was with me, and also realised they were not quite the person they thought they were.

Sadly, not only is it ourselves that are affected by FM/CFS/ME etc it also ripples out and has an impact on anyone we spend time with, some of which just can't cope with the change in things :facepalm: :facepalm:
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Re: In Tears

Postby Ms Malaise » Sat Sep 03, 2011 2:43 pm

:grouphug:
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Re: In Tears

Postby denys » Sat Sep 03, 2011 4:11 pm

Hi I think the majority of us have come across people like this and on top of being hurtful its frustrating as they just dont seem to listen so I agree with Flup sometimes the only option is to distance yourself and ask them if they cant try to understand then to keep their illfounded comments to themselves :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Denys

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