spondylosis, scoliosis, FM and old age Rant

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Re: spondylosis, scoliosis, FM and old age Rant

Postby FluppyPuffy » Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:10 pm

:woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :welldone: :welldone: Sweetleaf, I bet that came as a wonderful surprise when you found out about it :flowers: :flowers: :flowers:
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Re: spondylosis, scoliosis, FM and old age Rant

Postby Roseofsharon » Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:21 pm

Congratulations Sweetleaf

It's really great news. You must be thrilled!!!
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Re: spondylosis, scoliosis, FM and old age Rant

Postby shazq » Tue Jan 31, 2012 7:39 pm

:welldone: :clap: :clap: :flowers:
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Re: spondylosis, scoliosis, FM and old age Rant

Postby sweetleaf2 » Tue Jan 31, 2012 9:51 pm

Im chuffed, of course, but of I`m not sure I could ever go back to that kind of work, but still, it shows that Im not completely hopeless academically.
I didnt do too well at school, and when I went to college in my thirties I had to drop out six weeks before the end of my course to nurse my son through a long illness.
I was one unit short of an NVQ. I tried to go back to finish it the following year, but having given my folders to the course tutor, she put them in the boot of her car to take them home to assess, and the car was stolen!
I was so gutted I never went back.
I suppose thats why I value this qualification so much. :?:
Thanks everyone for the congratulations, apart from you guys only one person has commented, and I really needed to tell someone. :-D
I`m not over the hill I`m still climbing it, thats why I`m so tired all the time
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Re: spondylosis, scoliosis, FM and old age Rant

Postby denys » Tue Jan 31, 2012 11:52 pm

Sweetleaf that is marvellous fantastic news and :welldone: :welldone:
Denys

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Re: spondylosis, scoliosis, FM and old age Rant

Postby sweetleaf2 » Mon Feb 20, 2012 4:23 pm

The "part time job" is over, while I was in hospital last week, my lady passed away, peacefully in her chair. I had no warning and Im absolutely stricken. Her family have thanked me for my "wonderful care" of her, only now telling me that she had refused treatment for a serious heart problem a few years before. I dont feel so wonderful, I am convinced that if I had been there I might have been able to prevent it, and Im very close to tears all the time. The op went well apparently but thats no consolation.

Im so depressed, I`m out of work, Im weak and tearful all the time, I stopped taking the meds,( amis and all) in an attempt to get back my balance, it hasnt been good for a long time but while in hospital I began to even feel dizzy turning over in bed. I look like Im drunk some of the time, going off course, and bumping into things, and it is really getting me down. Its been seven days and there isnt any improvement at all.
Im prescribed 75mg of amitryptiline nightly and its supposed to be for the fibro, but I feel that my depression atm is made very much worse by dropping the ami`s so will take them again I suppose....... I have tramadol for the pain but havent been taking that either as my balance is so bad. I almost feel that the pain is deserved, for being such a useless human being.
I`m not over the hill I`m still climbing it, thats why I`m so tired all the time
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Re: spondylosis, scoliosis, FM and old age Rant

Postby FluppyPuffy » Mon Feb 20, 2012 6:15 pm

I'm sorry to hear about your job sweetleaf :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: It's understandable that you're going to have thought about whether you could have dome something if you had been there when it was time for the angels to take her back, my mum~in~law has been having very similar thoughts about my father~in~law, as he recently went back to the angels as well :( :(

Have you gradually reduced your meds to come off them, or did you just stop them all at once??? Don't worry, I'm not going to :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono: at you, it's just that I know from my own silly experiences how it can make you feel when you just stop the meds and effectively go "cold~turkey". With you describing how you are, I think you should consider going to see your GP as at the moment you sound like you could need some extra help thru this, be it meds, talking therapies, or a mix of them both. Plus you are still recovering from your operation, which will add an extra factor into things.

As for you deserving the pain for being a useless human being, you very definitely do not deserve to be in pain. In fact, none of us deserve to live with this wretched condition like we do. And you're far from being a useless human being, I'm pretty sure there will be a number of people who have the same thoughts as me :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
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Re: spondylosis, scoliosis, FM and old age Rant

Postby shazq » Mon Feb 20, 2012 8:17 pm

Hi
Sorry to hear about everything you have going on at the moment. :hugs: :hugs: :flowers: hope you start to feel better soon..
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Re: spondylosis, scoliosis, FM and old age Rant

Postby Salgor » Tue Feb 21, 2012 6:13 pm

Hi Sweetleaf

:welldone: :welldone: :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing:

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Re: spondylosis, scoliosis, FM and old age Rant

Postby sweetleaf2 » Sat Feb 25, 2012 5:55 pm

Hi, first of all I must apologise for my previous post, after reading it back, it sounds as though I`m giving up, which I`m not.

I have been on to the ESA and they can help me for the next few weeks, and Penderells trust who managed my ladies employer responsibilities would like to recruit me to cover other carers holidays etc. All I have to do is heal from my operation.
My Doctor has given me a Leaflet on grief, but refused to offer any meds to help me through the negative feelings. I suppose I`m already taking quite enough medication though.
I shall definitely rattle soon, as on top of other medication I have had to take two consecutive courses of anti-b`s since leaving hospital as I have an infection in the operation site, :yikes: which I realise is another reason for feeling low. My pain levels have risen over the last week, and Im having nightmares every time I go to sleep and end up waking up in a cold sweat,
I realise that many of you are much worse off than me, and I promise I`ll try not to complain so much, just having a bad month, thats all.

Gentle hugs,
Jan
I`m not over the hill I`m still climbing it, thats why I`m so tired all the time
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Re: spondylosis, scoliosis, FM and old age Rant

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sat Feb 25, 2012 10:04 pm

Jan, there's no need to apologise for what you posted. Most of us have had our own times feeling like you did when you posted. If you need a moan, rant, to complain or anything, don't worry about doing it on here. Most of us have had times where we've let stuff out on here as we know that we're understood and there's a good chance someone else has been thru something similar, so they may have some helpful suggestions or advice :grouphug: :grouphug:

We're all affected with FM in very different ways, be it physically, emotionally or psychologically, so altho you may not be as badly affected in some ways as others, you may be in another way. I don't think we look at someone's post thinking about how badly they are affected compared to ourselves (well I don't) instead they are read as you are a fellow FMer who is experiencing something that the reader may have also gone thru :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

It sounds like things could well be moving in a more positive direction for you now, which is fantastic :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing: The thing you need to focus on now is healing from your operation. Hopefully when the anti~b's start to get the infection under control things will settle down and you will start to feel more like your usual self :teddy-bear: :teddy-bear: :teddy-bear:
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Re: spondylosis, scoliosis, FM and old age Rant

Postby Roseofsharon » Sat Feb 25, 2012 10:21 pm

Hi Sweetleaf, I didn't get from your previous post that you were giving up at all. THere is nothing that you could have done to prevent your ladies passing, you did the best you could by her. What you were feeling though was perfectly natural. all tend to feel as if we should/could have done more when we lose someone, yet it is very rare that we actually could have done more/anything to prevent the loss.
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