Fear of Socialising

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Fear of Socialising

Postby make a wish » Sun Mar 04, 2012 10:55 pm

Hi there everybody
Just been to a 60th birthday with my husband, but had to leave after the first half hour. Found it intolerable and so uncomfortable amongst so many people all talking at the same time. Couldn't hear what any one person was saying as I have the blocked ears and nose and sore throat yet again. Sitting there and having to "nod and smile" seemed to send me into some sort of internal panic and I felt I just had to get out and go home to some sort of sanity. Now at home and muscles twitching, painful knees and elbow. Oh dear why did I try to go out in the first place. Would probably not have been too bad had I spent my usual evening on the settee with the dog by my side.
Its not that I dont go out at all. I have to shop and walk the dog, but the socialising thing in a party group is becoming a real fear . I'm afraid I should really be trying harder to combat this.
Does anyone else suffer in this way?
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Re: Fear of Socialising

Postby TATT » Sun Mar 04, 2012 11:24 pm

Hi make a wish,

I have exactly the same problem. I am 44 and was a party girl. I can no longer tolerate too much noise and music it overloads my system and becomes painful. I went to a Sunday party a few weeks back and the getting ready part had already wiped me out. The meal was okay and I managed to be able to concentrate but once the music started I was finished. We had to leave and I was in bed for 2 days after as I was in pain and washed out. I am learning to pace so that I can do things but for now no amount of pacing let's me cope with that amount of stimulation. I have been fearing dinner parties etc as I cannot concentrate for long periods and I worry that people will see me as uninterested. I also fear that I have nothing to talk about apart from pain and my daily struggles with day to day life. So you are not on your own. I only hope this is something that will pass as I miss dancing. Xxx
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Re: Fear of Socialising

Postby loubie » Mon Mar 05, 2012 12:38 am

i am just no good at all
i am even finding that an hour with the grandchildren wipes me out
and i end up in bed :cry:

anything noisy is just out of the question for me and i find it hard to follow
conversations :roll:
if anyone starts firing questions at me i am just lost :shock:
and i hate the adds on the tv :evil: they drive me b :swear1: nuts :yikes: :lol: :lol: :lol:
loubie xx

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Re: Fear of Socialising

Postby shazq » Mon Mar 05, 2012 5:24 pm

Hi
I am the same, i hate big crowds, loud noises, too many people talking at the same time :nono: i just cant cope with it anymore.

even having conversations with people worry me because i cant concentrate for to long, i feel myself wondering off into my own world then 5 mins later i will ask them the same question :oops:

I am much happier to just stay at home with my normal routine and where i feel safe.
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Re: Fear of Socialising

Postby make a wish » Mon Mar 05, 2012 7:09 pm

Thanks everybody for making me feel that I'm not alone with this.

It does help to share and hear others input. Not had too good a day today but hopefully be feeling bit better tomorrow.
I always used to think that the phrase "the morning after the night before" referred to a good boozey night out, but now it means - do too much today and you'll pay for it tomorrow.

Heyho , that's life. Thanks again everybody. :needhug: and I feel like you all gave me that. make a wish
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Re: Fear of Socialising

Postby FluppyPuffy » Mon Mar 05, 2012 8:58 pm

It's something that has affected me as well. I've gone from wanting to be up and out at every chance I got to a virtual recluse these days. Busy places, loud noises, bright lights are all too much for me to contend with. I often lose the thread of conversations so rather than join in and risk making my self look a complete sock, I tend to say quiet, even when I'm with someone I know :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:
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Re: Fear of Socialising

Postby animalhouse » Wed Mar 07, 2012 4:27 am

i am focusin on this for my cbt due to ptsd adn going out especially in cars.
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Re: Fear of Socialising

Postby Judy S » Wed Mar 07, 2012 12:02 pm

Yes, I'm afraid I'm turning into a bit of a recluse as well. Used to do dinner parties occasionally, and now .. I worry too much about them, even with friends. Parties with loud noise ... Uhhh ... count me out!!!
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Re: Fear of Socialising

Postby Salgor » Wed Mar 07, 2012 1:20 pm

Hi

I had a busy (well, for me anyway) weekend. On Saturday morning went to watch my grandson play football and had to walk quite a distance to get to his pitch and then stand for an hour +. On Sunday went to see said grandson compete in his Tae Kwon Do competition and had to do quite a bit of standing, and sitting when I could. It wiped me out for Monday and Tuesday when I ached, was stiff and slept most of the two days. :sleep: :sleep: :sleep:
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Re: Fear of Socialising

Postby JemmaB88 » Fri Apr 13, 2012 7:42 pm

Hello all.

Just wanted make a wish to know that you are not alone. I am sat here, ready to go out to dinner with some neighbours of my inlaws, some of their friends and the OH, and I am absolutly dreading it. It is just a thank you dinner to the OH but I am just so not in to going out any more. I haven't even been to my usual family gathering on Boxing day for two years.

Its a mixture of the panic of my IBS kicking off, me having a fog attack and looking like a total idiot infront of loads of people and the noise level in restaurants. I just don't want to go either, which isn't helping me at all. I want to stay home, with my fluffy blanket, a mug of horlicks and my doggy watching movies or rubbish TV.

Its not like I am agrophobic or house bound. I work 5 hours in the mornings, do the shopping and visit family and close friends, but its gatherings. If it was a dinner out with the OH, then I wouldn't be dreading it so much, but even so. Also eating at 9 is far far too late for me. I usually take ami's at 5/6pm, which I haven't done, for fear of falling asleep at the table!

So now, I am freezing cold, heart doing the usual crashing against my chest, followed by what seems very slow bouts, and yawning my head off with killer back, shoulder and hand pain.

:(

Wish me luck. Plus side, I have to go to work tomorrow, so I have that to worry about all night once we get home!

I absolutly hate Fibromyalgia, it has started to become such a problem in both my life and my OH's life.
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Re: Fear of Socialising

Postby animalhouse » Fri Apr 13, 2012 10:55 pm

hope it went ok and not oo much of a late night.

hope you get somem rest for work tomorrow as well.

:-) :sleep: :sleep:
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Re: Fear of Socialising

Postby JemmaB88 » Sat Apr 14, 2012 1:59 pm

We got in at about 11:45pm. Didn't eat until 9:30pm. Felt a bit iffy this morning but just made myself a smoked salmon and cream cheese sarnie so its all good! :D

I hope everyone else is OK today. Sorry about my rant last night, but it made me feel better some how!

Jem.
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Re: Fear of Socialising

Postby denys » Sat Apr 14, 2012 5:37 pm

Glad it went OK and dont apologise for ranting if it makes you feel better then go for it, sometimes it helps to get it off your chest :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
Denys

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Re: Fear of Socialising

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sat Apr 14, 2012 8:19 pm

Same from me Jemma, letting something out is far better than bottling it up, I've done the bottling up and it nearly ripped me to pieces :facepalm: :facepalm:
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Re: Fear of Socialising

Postby make a wish » Sat Apr 14, 2012 10:41 pm

Couldnt agree more. I've been bottling it up all day today and its not done me any good at all. Let it out and release some of the pressure. I've been smiling all day whilst the family were here (and I do really love them to be here) but I'm absolutely shattered, niggly and really just not nice to know at the moment. I feel bedtime coming up very soon. Hope I wake up in a better mind in the morning.

By the way fluffypuppy its true what you say - if your dog doesnt like someone then probably you shouldnt either. I love that one. make a wish
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