Not coping!

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Not coping!

Postby annablack » Thu May 30, 2013 8:32 pm

I don't know where to start, I really don't. I'm in such a mess right now. I've posted in this section because although I am in agony, and I'm so tired and my head is killing me, I feel sick as a dog, dizzy as hell and cannot concentrate on a damn thing. The problem is that it's got me so low. Well, this and a whole host of things that have been going on over the last couple of weeks.

I've got so scarily low that I'm seriously worried about self-harm, and when I got through to the crisis team they just turned me away and said "we'll phone you tomorrow!" and in my experience that means I'll hear from them sometime next week if I'm lucky. As I got up to make myself a drink, my feet were feeling weaker and more painful and it appears that I may have another problem with them altogether. I just don't know what to do :cry:
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Not coping!

Postby Wendy 28 » Thu May 30, 2013 8:50 pm

Oh dear, have you been to see your doctor about all of this. Maybe you need to change any medication you're on?
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Re: Not coping!

Postby annablack » Thu May 30, 2013 8:58 pm

I phoned the drs after the crisis team but by the time that the dr got back to me they were closing so I can't get in to see them until tomorrow either. I'm on a ridiculous amount of medication already :(
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Re: Not coping!

Postby whoami » Thu May 30, 2013 10:34 pm

Anna.......if you get to the point of self harm you need to go to the emerg. I don't understand the policy in the UK but where I am there are people at emerg who can help.

I am glad to hear you are asking for help. If you feel you haven't got the answers from somewhere, keep calling back, eventually they will realize how much you need their help.

Keep coming here and having a rant when you are down, we can listen and sometimes knowing someone hears you can help. I will be thinking of you and hope things get sorted. X
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Re: Not coping!

Postby annablack » Thu May 30, 2013 11:52 pm

Thank you but our local A&E doesn't have the resources, they just stick you on the phone to the crisis team, and after 7pm the phones go through to another area quite some distance away so it's even harder to get help at night. Unfortunately it is too late where my urge to self harm is concerned now, and I did tell them that I wouldn't last the night :cry: now I'm angry at them and myself!! I've made myself a hot chocolate and curled up now to see if that helps me get to sleep as my drs surgery is one of those ones where you have to ring at 8am for an appointment which is easier said than done. I'm so sorry for bothering people :cry:
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Re: Not coping!

Postby denys » Fri May 31, 2013 2:23 am

Anna you arent bothering anyone, I'm sorry you have got to that point of self harming, if its bad then you really need to call the hospital and tell them what you have done, but if you can get through the night without causing yourself any further harm then hopefully you will get in to see your GP in the morning. Does it help going to the surgery at 8am :?: :?: :?: :?:

I know our surgery gets so busy on the phones that sometimes its easier to go down and wait for them to open to be sure of an appointment.

We are here and many have been in your position, we can offer you support and caring and dont forget we have that rope curled up in corner which we can use to help pull you out of that horrible black hole sending you some gentle :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: and :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: let us know how you get on in the morning
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Re: Not coping!

Postby whoami » Fri May 31, 2013 3:21 am

Anna..... Please don't ever think you are a bother. I can feel your pain in the words you write. We are here to help you however we can. Anna, when you feel desperate to hurt yourself please call for an ambulance to take you to the hospital. Do you have anyone close you can call? This living with fibro is hell but try hard to stay in control. You are not controlled by fibro. Fibro isn't who you are. Keep writing here, when you feel down write. X
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Re: Not coping!

Postby annablack » Fri May 31, 2013 8:56 am

The phones are a nightmare at 8 but I did get through and managed to get quite an early appt so I will let you know how I get on but to be perfectly honest I'm not expecting much. I just feel like I'm a huge burden on everyone if I open up about this stuff because the people where I live, the friends and family, even the so called professionals are all so.... I don't know... I suppose dismissive is the word I'm looking for. Because I hide the worst of it and keep that for behind closed doors they think its not that bad but it is, and when I try to tell them they just... yeah the word is dismissive. They just dismiss it or shrug it off, and that makes me feel so much worse. I'll let you know how I get on at drs.
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Re: Not coping!

Postby whoami » Fri May 31, 2013 9:29 am

Will be waiting to hear.
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Re: Not coping!

Postby annablack » Fri May 31, 2013 10:28 am

My dr was fantastic. Very reassuring, but what he can actually do is very limited. However he did say that he would see me again very soon and that if I need to then hound the crisis team no matter what they say. I then spoke to the crisis team again and it just makes me wonder if they got their training in the school of ignorant morons!!! :cry: I don't feel much better to be honest, but my dr said that's a normal part of the process. That in the space of a couple of weeks hopefully I will be starting to feel better. It kind of helped to hear that this is normal. I'm in such a mess though :cry:
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Re: Not coping!

Postby fibro-lu » Fri May 31, 2013 10:58 am

hi Anna,

I am glad you made it through the night and that you got an appointment with your GP, and that he was so supportive and reasuring and explaint what is and will go on the next couple of days/weeks. :-D

Would suggest you stick to him if possible.

Come on here anytime and rant as much as you need. There is a good chance to find someone here to say just the right words and you will realise that you are not alone. Lots of different us went already through lots of different stuff etc and you are not a burden and opening up and letting stuff out/writing it out often helps too.

You will overcome what is happening right now and this will make you stronger. You might not be able to see this now but there will be at time when you will advise others here (or somewhere else) on same or similar issues. Having to deal with that stuff makes us also experts, ironically I know.

That's one of the beauties of this forum that it is so "organic". FMS may take things away from us, yes, but it makes us also stronger in other areas.

For now I would suggest to take one hour at the time, treat yourself to another cup of your favorite :coffee_cup: and be kind to yourself. Have you already arranged for another appointment with your GP?

Please keep us informed
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Re: Not coping!

Postby annablack » Fri May 31, 2013 1:53 pm

Yeah he made me one for just under two weeks time. I'm just so tired. Tired emotionally and physically. It's all so draining. It's funny you should say make a cup of my favourite :coffee_cup: cos I've just sat down with a nice cup of tea (even though I'm usually more of a coffee kinda gal)

Thank you. I do really appreciate it. People here (not the site, I mean people I know personally) just don't seem to understand. I don't let them see me at my worst to protect them from it, but because I do that and they don't see it, they think that the worst of it that I experience doesn't exist. If any of that even made any sense... I hope it did! I just wish that people would understand, just because I don't let them see it happening, doesn't mean it's not happening. So thank you everyone.

:flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers:
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Re: Not coping!

Postby shazq » Fri May 31, 2013 2:11 pm

:hugs: anna, so glad you got to see your gp, like the others have said you know you can pop on here for help and support. Well done for getting through the night, you will get there just take things day by day, keep popping on here if it helps even if you just want to rant, thats find by us as long as it helps you. :hugs: :flowers:
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Re: Not coping!

Postby annablack » Fri May 31, 2013 2:56 pm

God, I feel like I'm losing it :cry:
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Re: Not coping!

Postby denys » Fri May 31, 2013 11:29 pm

Anna, we are here for you. You will cope and you will get through it with help. At least your doc is on side and you have to hang on in there till you start to feel a bit better :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers:
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