It's official - Fibro has turned me into a freak!

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It's official - Fibro has turned me into a freak!

Postby animeemo3 » Wed Oct 29, 2014 6:42 am

Fibro has destroyed me, physically, mentally, inwardly and out. It's flipping hard enough coping with all of this crap, now more stuff springs out, beating me down even more. I have huge painful muscles expanding where they shouldn't be. One example, I do not have a nice gentle curve from my skull, down my neck and down my back. I have a huge, apple sized muscle growth right at the Base of my neck because I am in such pain 24/7, i have to hold myself differently, causing disgusting growths. The soles of my feet do not have a natural curve from the toes to the heel, they have golf ball sized muscles growths, protruding past the sole if my foot, like standing on a ball. Again, because of uncontrolled pain leading to unnatural walking, gait, posture ect
I sit in a chair, not even comfortable, and suffer. I lie in bed, not even comfortable, and suffer even more. Mentally and physically tired, no respite. I am desperate for peace and quiet but cannot have it as my home (hah! Room more like) is plagued with drug takers, noise makers and people petty enough to vandalise my property, a notice kindly asking people not to keep pressing my doorbell.
I have no life. I spend everyday at home. Social anxiety through the roof (undiagnosed, my doctor doesn't give a Damn) aggressive voices in my head, extreme difficulty walking 5 minutes, but a chair would be useless - can't carry things up stairs (2nd floor), wouldn't be able to self propel, nowhere to store it. Put on 6 stone in about two years, can't budge it - tried gentle exercise, bedbound for a week, dieting doesn't shift it - pcos and suspected insulin resistance (yet again doc doesn't care but likes to mentiony weight every time I see her) will not let me. Wearing shameful old person clothes, at 22 years of age because I cannot find anything that fits and doesn't cost loads. My hair falling out in clumps (my hair was the only thing I took pride in, the only thing I could control). Can't even have a Damn shower because it is so exhausting! Battled for years for help, had to pester for months for a pain clinic referral. I have no pain relief, only gabapentin low dose. At my wits end. Why me? Already suffered abuse as a child, only to run away from home to a place with more violence, to then become homeless for 6 odd months, living in tents, to finally moving into the bedsit I am in now.
Please do not tell me to switch doctors or surgeries, i have done. I have been through all the doctors at my surgery, they confer between themselves and i swear they're out to make me suffer. I cannot get 5 minutes down the road, let alone the mile or so to the nearest surgery.
I have no one to speak to, no friends or family, this is my only outlet.
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Re: It's official - Fibro has turned me into a freak!

Postby becbob » Wed Oct 29, 2014 9:45 am

I am so sorry that you are unable to get the help that you need. I too am in constant pain with no let up. The only thing I can suggest is to phone adult social services and ask for an OT assessment. I did this this the other day and they are sending someone round soon. If you can get that then maybe you can explain your dire situation and they may be able to get you the help you need in all areas. If living where you are is uunsuitable they should be able to get you on the council list for a move. It may not do you any good but when you are at your wits end it's worth a try.
I also just want you to know that you are not alone in this. There are lots of us learning to deal with this and it isn't easy. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
Maybe it might be worth you calling the out of hours doctors and getting them to do a home visit. Maybe they could prescribe you some better pain meds. If they can see what you have to deal with they might not be so quick to dismiss you.
Please don't give up. Stay strong and know that we are thinking of you x.
Never judge on looks alone. Real beauty comes from with in.
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