becoming a Hermit

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becoming a Hermit

Postby shazq » Tue Nov 09, 2010 7:01 pm

Does anyone else feel that they would rather stay home then venture out?
I am finding myself dreading going out, i have never been like this before, i was always an outside person, i loved going around the shops and visiting other towns,meeting up with friends, now the thought of it feels me with dread.

I start to think i will have to get dressed, get in the car find a parking space then a trolley then there will be crowds and queues then people just stopping in the middle of the isles. :banghead: I start to talk myself out of it.

I cant cope with going food shopping,i pray i dont bump into somebody who knows me and wants a chat. I have the things that i need to buy whizzing around in my head and just want to grab them and get out.

When i get in i now get into my pJ`s, its like i feel safe at home, dont know why :dunno:

Does anyone else feel like this?. :crazy:
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Re: becoming a Hermit

Postby denys » Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:06 pm

Yep definitely, I think I start to think of the pain and exhaustion, the falling over and then start to think 'I could order it over the internet and save myself the agony afterwards' I cant go out on my own anyway so have to wait until someone can take me :yikes: so on average probably only venture out once a week unless I have appointments. In the summer I took to sitting outside in the garden when it was warm, but now I'm afraid it's in front of the fire comfy, warm and safe :shock: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :flowers: :blowkiss:

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Re: becoming a Hermit

Postby FluppyPuffy » Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:52 pm

I don't like going out much either. The farthest I venture is running the gauntlet round the supermarket, armed with my list while OH pushes the trolley round. Have to get in and out as fast as possible, then retreat back home for safety as well. Doggy has to be walked twice a day. I can manage the longer of the 2 walks in the morning as we either see people we know with their dogs, or it's just the 2 of us on the field, which thankfully isn't too far from home. When I have to do both walks, the 2nd one is done as quick as possible as it's just too scary being out as it's going dark for me :dunno: :dunno:
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Re: becoming a Hermit

Postby Elsbeth » Tue Nov 09, 2010 11:14 pm

Totally mate, to the point I now do my shopping online.

I don't go out unless I have to tbh, and then it takes me ages to talk myself into it.
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Re: becoming a Hermit

Postby thebryans » Wed Nov 10, 2010 12:17 pm

:facepalm: hi there,
Yes I am just the same, hubby has to litteraly force me to go out once a week, and even then I will try anything to stay at home, I used to have my own horses and loved walking but alas that all went out of the window, its a good job my little shih tzu is now 14yrs old and prefers to lay on her cushion all day,
I am very lucky as my husband is one in a million, he does all the shopping, cleaning, cooking, ( lol last time i cooked i put sugar in the mash instead of butter) But he just gets on with it all and never makes me feel bad that I cant do stuff,
The last time I went out further than the front gate on my own was 5yrs ago, and had to be brought back home by a really nice couple, after collapsing with a real bad panic attack,
If you ever fancy a chat pm me and I will email you as I know how it feels to be a hermit,
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ps ignore my spelling and rambling as forget what I have written
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Re: becoming a Hermit

Postby shazbaz1971 » Wed Nov 10, 2010 6:34 pm

hi hun

Yes i am excatly the same!! I have hardly ventured out for over year now, but since upsetting family circumstances i am filled with even more dread now, i have been diagnosed with severe anxiety , maybe these feeling go hand in hand with fibro/ME too, i too used to dread people coming upto me , as i feel they will be shocked by what they see now and i also dont want peoples sympathy too, so its easier to stay inside as like you say , it makes you feel so more secure!
Also i dont like people coming round either so its just me and my 14yr old son and dogs xx
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shaz xx
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Re: becoming a Hermit

Postby diane » Wed Jan 05, 2011 4:35 pm

iam the same i dread going shopping because iam so weak,i cannot wait to get home i have to really push myself just to go the shop round the corner,before i had fibro i walked everywhere them were the days :banghead: :banghead:
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Re: becoming a Hermit

Postby animalhouse » Thu Jan 06, 2011 9:30 am

i thought it was me as i am just the same.

i thought it was on off depression but i think it is part the fibro as i walk with stick and as you said wonder what to say or even explain to people what is wrong.

i wasnt the most social animal as ddnt have many friends but loved to go out walking/shopping but now i am isolated by not being able to do that as much i do try and take dog out every day but am alone. i find the pets very therapeutic now for commpany and my son.

i like to go out as a family but the older 2 are 12 and 14 and wanting to be more independent and we are all of diffient time zones but i think it is because i feel safe in my own family cocoon. and they should be able to go out and live their life.

it is very much the other side of how fibro affects us.
it is great to come on here.

u never said anything to my doc but when i get an odd good day i wonder if they will start to push me to go back to work/college and i just don;t think i could face the social side never mind the physical side of student nursing if i am honest.

this disease is very much about being honest i thnk we feel guilty about not doing as much as we did or not wokrking becasue of finances etc and it is hard to be strong and say no i cannot do that anymore.
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Re: becoming a Hermit

Postby fibro-lu » Thu Jan 06, 2011 5:34 pm

hi all

soooo good to hear it is not just me

I am actually more an outdoor person
I drag myself out nowadays, because I know it does me good

Started to think it is because of London, but that's rubbish
It is just the fact of facing people
and pushing around in super markets etc
and dealing with traffic on top bla bla

since I moved have a "roof terrace"
it's kind of outside without all the stress

think will start venture "around the block" on a daily base

bye for now
Last edited by fibro-lu on Tue Jan 25, 2011 11:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: becoming a Hermit

Postby Quackers » Thu Jan 06, 2011 10:48 pm

I find that it is because of all the pain that is associated with just the simple things that others do without thinking
Going round the supermarket means having to wear dark glasses because of the light. I have yet to go without someone bumping into my wheelchair and bumping into me causing immense pain.
I now avoid supermarkets like the plague because of that. Extremes of temperature are something that I cannot tolerate either. I can only, physically, go out myself in my electric buggy which is fine for getting to the doctors but hopeless when we had the snow.
I now accept that I can do nothing about the above situations but when I do get out I make sure I avoid these obstacles, as much as possible, therefore making trips out an enjoyable experience and ones that I do not dread and therefore look forward to going out.
I know that I am in the lucky position that I do have the luxury of being able to avoid supermarkets etc.
The bottom line is that I try everything possible to make sure that trips out are as enjoyable as possible therefore I look forward to them so much more.
Planning seems to be the key
I hope this helps Fibrolou :flowers: :blowkiss:
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Re: becoming a Hermit

Postby matthew » Fri Jan 07, 2011 1:06 am

I find I have to mentally prepare myself for going out days beforehand. Ages ago I used to be spontaneous and go off to town on a whim, but not any more. These days I when I think about going to town, like Shaz said, with people and lights and noise, it's like I'm thinking about going to war. I can go for a short walk most of the time around the village, so I see no reason why I can't handle the physical aspect if I sit down often enough, take it slowly and use my stick, but somehow my brain cannot now deal with town and all the hustle and bustle that goes with it. :?

Maybe it's the fibrofog.
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Re: becoming a Hermit

Postby Quackers » Fri Jan 07, 2011 1:14 am

I have trouble with lights, noise etc too and understand where you are coming from Matthew
That is why when I go out now I make sure it is somewhere I know I can enjoy. I am desperate to go out like 'normal' folk but the pain it involves is far too much.
I did wonder if I was becoming agrophic but as my hubby pointed out I do love going to the places where these factors are not a problem.
Lets face it. Who on earth would want to go somewhere that causes them pain
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Re: becoming a Hermit

Postby carolnotts » Sat Jan 08, 2011 10:20 pm

phew thank goodness i am not the only one i had a really bad panic attack the other day when i took my kids to school then today my little girl had an eye test so i ordered a taxi as i can't get on a bus anymore i can't cope with it anyway by the time the taxi got here i was out in a cold sweat,chest pains all sorts my 19 yr old son came with me but left me in the opticians with my wee one and he told me afterwards he did it on purpose because he knew i would come out of it because he knows i hate to panic in front of the little ones because they get scared which worked to a certain extent but anytime i drag myself out i cant wait to get home again because like some of you i feel safe in my own home :cry: :cry:
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Re: becoming a Hermit

Postby Nic-nac » Sun Jan 09, 2011 1:27 am

shazq wrote:Hi

When i get in i now get into my pJ`s, its like i feel safe at home, dont know why :dunno:

I could have written that, I often joke about being the pyjama lady. Now I mostly just go out if I have someone with me and or absolutely must go. Even when I do go out I can't wait until I get home to the point that I will make excuses up about having to be home at certain times for the children/hubbies shifts etc.
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Re: becoming a Hermit

Postby tentimes » Fri Jan 14, 2011 12:35 am

My God I am so relieved to hear someone else has felt like this. People keep making me out to be anti-social, compared with my old self. I have got to the stage where I am honestly more comfortable sitting in the house and would make up an excuse rather than go out sometimes. I just find it so exhausting now to go to family things, or make long trips, that I avoid them like the plague. God forgive me, but if I could find the strength to fix a bucket of water above the door (on a string), for when people call, I would. I actually can't be bothered with people any more. I don't mind having to deal with them, but I'd just as soon sit in on my own (quite happily). I do think it's shame though, but I just can't find the energy to socialise. I feel like a fekin hermit too ;) It can't be healthy :) Although not being able to drink alcohol any more might be good for a couple of years extra in the long run, anyway.
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