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The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - how do you deal with doctors & health pro's ???



how do you deal with doctors & health pro's ???

Anything to do with the NHS or Private Healthcare.

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how do you deal with doctors & health pro's ???

Postby jenniferm202 » Sun Jan 29, 2012 9:10 pm

When I go to the doctor's they say some stupid things and ignore any of my concern's , just to get me out the room faster ! my OT is hopeless , I really badly need a bed & a stair lift , she says no every time , I need help getting up the stairs and getting out of bed !!?? It doesn't matter if I am crying in front of them they do nothing ! when I was at the rheumatoid clinic it was a shamble's ! I went in for an x-ray and then I was sent in again because it wasn't done right then I heard the doctor's laughing and talking about a patient outside my door ! they said you have spondyitlolthesis never explained to me what it was even when I asked and that was it ! :crazy:

Then I asked my gp what it was and his reply ? ' it isn't in my field of work' em hello your a doctor ?

then my OT said 'you need to do it even if it does hurt & your in agony' idiot !! were will get me eh ? leave me in tear's that's what usually happens ! sometime's I am that sore I scream in pain !

I went to the doctor's one time to tell her my medication wasn't working and she said ' what do you want me to do about it' ? in a sarcastic voice.

how do you approach these people ?
why are they so ignorant and horrible ?
it wouldnt be the case if it was their daughter or mother :nono:
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Re: how do you deal with doctors & health pro's ???

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sun Jan 29, 2012 9:40 pm

It seems these people treat you and talk to you in these ways, yet you make no mention of your parents doing something like complaining about the treatment you receive or doing something to help make things a bit easier for you.


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Re: how do you deal with doctors & health pro's ???

Postby jenniferm202 » Sun Jan 29, 2012 9:44 pm

Your right , I think we need to make a more serious approach :!:
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Re: how do you deal with doctors & health pro's ???

Postby Ldyalb » Sun Jan 29, 2012 10:29 pm

You need to start taking your parents to appointments with you. I know at 16 it's a pain, but legally you are a child. Even at 23 my GP takes me more seriously when I have a parent with me, unless I have something simple to treat like a UTI or Thrush.

Unfortunately some Drs do treat you worse if you're young. It's wrong but sometimes you have to play their game and take an adult with you.
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Re: how do you deal with doctors & health pro's ???

Postby denys » Sun Jan 29, 2012 10:39 pm

My kids come to my appointments with me and if needed I go with them even though they are all grown up, your OT shouldnt be dealing with you regarding your care needs it should be your parents as they will own the house not you! We do need to do things even though it hurts otherwise we would end up sitting doing nothing and then then we would get muscle atrophy and eventually be unable to do anything for ourselves and in a way it would be self inflicted.

At your age that isnt something anyone should stand back and watch happen as you hopefully have a very long life ahead of you
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Re: how do you deal with doctors & health pro's ???

Postby shelleydwales » Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:02 am

Hi jenniferm,
I have a daughter your age and she has a lot of health problems,i go to all her appointments with her unless im really unwell and then her dad or nan goes instead of me.
Do you have any support at your appointments?
I would not be happy if my daughter was spoken to by a medical professional as you have been.
Do you have a good relationship with anyone in your familly? Xxx


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Re: how do you deal with doctors & health pro's ???

Postby jenniferm202 » Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:12 pm

Hey , well , when I do take my mum and dad in its the same , my mum has an awful temper and am scared of her reaction , the was about to punch my OT last week :roll: so its hard for them too :(
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Re: how do you deal with doctors & health pro's ???

Postby denys » Mon Jan 30, 2012 3:03 pm

Do your parent know you are using this forum Jenniferm???? What does your dad say about all of your problems and if you are frightend of your mums reaction is your dad more level headed????????????
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Re: how do you deal with doctors & health pro's ???

Postby FluppyPuffy » Mon Jan 30, 2012 3:41 pm

What you're posting jennifer is giving us real cause for concern, esp me as I have a teenager that is very close to your age. Regardless of frustration and anger that a parent might feel, I would have thought concern and a determination to find out as much as possible about problems would have been top of the list.

I've been thru quite a lot in my life, and I am known to have a foul temper, yet I have never once felt that the people who should bear the brunt of what I going thru are the healthcare people who were trying to help me.

If your mum's temper is as strong as you have said, it could suggest that she may need some help to find ways to cope and mange things to try and avoid things flaring up for her. If you are truly scared of how she reacts, maybe you should consider letting someone you know and/or trust know about what you've posted on here as they may be able to help you and your family get some help that sounds like it is needed.

On the other hand tho, if things aren't quite the way you're making them out to be, as my own teenager likes to over emphasise things and sees everything in a pretty angsty way all the time, if you can give us a clearer idea about things, we may be able to suggest something helpful for you.


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Re: how do you deal with doctors & health pro's ???

Postby shelleydwales » Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:40 pm

Hi there,does your mum get so annoyed because your docs are not helping you? Maybe your gp could refer you to a different consultant, have you explaind to your gp how badly things are going at your appointments?
It must be so hard for your parents to see you suffering and not getting satisfactory treatment, I know from my experience at my daughters appointments that some doctors have no clue how to talk to patients so I do sympathise with you hoing through this at your age,
Take care hun
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Re: how do you deal with doctors & health pro's ???

Postby Ldyalb » Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:51 pm

I agree with Flup. I know it's not easy being your age but it does sound like your Mum may need some help with anger issues. It must be very hard for her to see her little girl in so much pain, and seemingly not getting the help she needs. I know my Mum was stressed at my ATOS medical and had to keep her cool when the woman asked stupid questions which a Dr shouldn't ask (like 'how long have you had Hypermobility Syndrome for? - you're either born with it or you aren't). But it sounds like your Mum's anger is at an unhealthy level.

I know you mentioned that you have a boyfriend, I know he's probably 16 too but could you try taking him with you? Sometimes Drs listen more if they know you have a witness. Failing that perhaps you could take another adult with you such as your Dad, an Aunt or an older cousin or even one of your friend's Mums, or your boyfriend's Mum.

I always went to the GP alone at your age but it was just the GP I saw - so for issues like my innoculations, contraception, minor injuries and infections etc. If I'd had more serious issues and needed to see a specialist I wouldn't have wanted to go alone. At 16 we feel very grown up but sometimes we have to admit when we need support, especially when dealing with adult issues.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/YoungPeople ... /index.htm

There's some info here about the help available to young disabled people in the UK. It's worth looking through and seeing what help you may be entitled to. Are you claiming DLA? If you aren't pop over to our DWP, Working and Benefits section of the forum for advice on eligibility and how to apply.

Also, you haven't mentioned about school as far as I can see - are you still in education? When I was at school we could leave at 16 but I think it's now changed to 18? Are you getting support to get your GCSEs and A Levels?
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Re: how do you deal with doctors & health pro's ???

Postby jenniferm202 » Tue Jan 31, 2012 5:20 pm

Hey , the reason my mum got so angry last week is because she has spent a year and a half trying to find out what's happening to me and had no answer's no explinations ; nothing , she's a great mum ! she' just angry to see me the way I am :roll: a whole year and a half and in the past 2 months I have JUST being diagnosed. My mum still think I have Lupus , I have the rash on my face and a few symptoms , it was only ruled out because my ANA came back negative twice and came back positive twice ; its really frustrating :yikes:

I haven't been to school for 5-6 months now due to the pain , I cant concentrate on the work , I get so tired during class I fall asleep & my friends don't understand the illness.

the doctor's are soooooooooooooooooooo useless , I have seen every doctor at my surgery and almost every doctor & nurse at A&E :-|

and how can I claim for DLA , it would be useful for a mattress and things that could make a life a little more easier , see my mum has me and another 4 children , Lauren 14 , Kim 7 , Tia 6 , John 3 so she doesn't have loads of money to through around so DLA would be very useful :-P

and a for my mum and dad knowing me being on this form , yes they do , but they don't know what I am posting. I come here because you's all understand my situation and are in it your self's in a way plus this is my Laptop , and am very mature for my age , oh and my bf is 21 , we've been together for about 2 years now :-P
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Re: how do you deal with doctors & health pro's ???

Postby shelleydwales » Tue Jan 31, 2012 5:45 pm

Hi Jenniferm,
I understand completely why your mum is so angry,my daughter was diagnosed at 14 with things that should have been found at birth,it has left me with not a lot of faith in doctors as I have known that something was wrong all this time.
It's an awfull situation to be in, we went to hell and back with all the tests and ops she needed,but we got there.....eventually!!!

Dla is something you should definitely apply for especially as you are needing a bed etc.

I really hope you get some answers soon,the thing is with fibro is that it is usually diagnosed when other illnesses have been eliminated,although what you have said about lupus and having 2 positive tests is confusing!!

Take care hun xx

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Re: how do you deal with doctors & health pro's ???

Postby jenniferm202 » Tue Jan 31, 2012 5:51 pm

shell , They said that they have ruled Lupus out but I think I have it because of the tests and the symptoms but that's not my decision & thanks for your comment :-D
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Re: how do you deal with doctors & health pro's ???

Postby denys » Tue Jan 31, 2012 5:55 pm

Jenniferm I have to say I dont know what else to suggest to you. To claim DLA you need to apply for the forms from the DWP and if your mum is your carer she can apply for carers allowance. If you havent managed to go to school have you been offered home schooling via the education as school must be asking why you arent attending ???????
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