[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4780: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3898)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4782: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3898)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4783: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3898)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4784: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3898)
The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - what women go through



what women go through

Rib ticklers, hobbies and things to do on a rainy day!

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

what women go through

Postby velvet » Fri Sep 11, 2009 9:00 pm

thanks to patientslikeme where i got this from

For those of you who wax, you will understand fully and those who don't
> will never make this mistake. Better go pee before you read this. This
> by far is one of the funniest things I have ever read. ~ This is why I
> shave!!
>
> Hope to put a smile on your face: Hair Removal..
> (I don't have a clue who wrote this, but WHAT A RIOT!)
>
> All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy,
> painless removal - the Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the
> wax.
> Read on..
>
> My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, and
> play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in
> my mind for the next few hours:
>
> 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.' So I
> headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.
>
> It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you
> just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel
> them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull
> the hair right off.
>
> No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am
> mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)
>
> So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
> stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so
> I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.
>
> ('Cold wax,' yeah.. Right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the
> skin around it tight and pull. IT WORKS!
>
> Ok, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
> Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward
> body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
>
> With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak
> back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I
> drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same
> procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini
> line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down the
> inside of my butt cheek (it
> *was* a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....
> RRRRRRIIIIIIPPPPPP!
>
> I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!......OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!!
>
> Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the
> strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and
> spotted. I think I may pass out..must stay conscious.. must stay
> conscious.
>
> Do I hear crashing drums???? Breathe, breathe OK, back to normal. I want
> to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so
> much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the
> glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip. There's no
> hair on it.
> Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX????
>
> Slyly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the
> hair.
> The hair that should be on the strip.. It's not!! I touch. I am touching
> wax.
>
> I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now
> covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...
> remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do
> something. So I put my foot down.
>
> Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!
>
> I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do next
> and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head
> may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax?
>
> Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!!! I'll run the hottest water I can
> stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax
> should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???? *WRONG!!!!!!!*
>
> I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to
> torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
>
> Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued
> together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of
> the tub..in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold
> wax.
>
> <BREATH>
> So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented
> myself to the porcelain!!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few
> months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
>
> I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some
> secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter
> 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'
>
> There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal
> but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly
> where the wax is located, 'are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?'
>
> She's laughing out loud by now... I can hear her. I give her the rundown
> and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
>
> YEAH!!!! RIGHT!!!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
>
> While we go through the various solutions, I resort to trying to scrape
> the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than having your girlie
> goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot
> water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!!!
>
> By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm
> pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this
> event..
>
> My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving
> grace..the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I
> really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!
>
> The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my
> friend.
> Its sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!!!! It works!!!!'
>
> I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.. I
> successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief
> and despair..THE HAIR IS STILL THERE..ALL OF IT!
>
> So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I
> could have amputated my own leg at this point.
>
> Next week I'm going to try hair color!
NEW
velvet
UKFM Regular
 
Posts: 1303
Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 1:17 pm
Location: england

Re: what women go through

Postby shazq » Fri Sep 11, 2009 9:34 pm

:D :D :D :clap: :clap: :clap:

Very good...haha
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
User avatar
shazq
UKFM Veteran
 
Posts: 11449
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2009 8:16 pm
Location: wrapped up under my duvet at home.

Re: what women go through

Postby anne1206 » Fri Sep 11, 2009 9:47 pm

My hubby is trying to watch the tv, and cant hear a thing for me laughing out loud, with tears running down my cheeks(on my face that is)

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
durate et vosmet rebus servate secundis///>Carry on and preserve yourselves for better times
User avatar
anne1206
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 577
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2008 10:08 pm
Location: Glasgow

Re: what women go through

Postby angela masson » Fri Sep 11, 2009 11:04 pm

:wave: Oh you poor soul,this isnt a nice thing to say but i nearly peed ma pants laughing, i havent laughed so hard in ages "sorry". Sending you gentle hugs :hugs: :hugs: ,i bet you wont do that again, take care angelax
angela masson
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 25
Joined: Tue Aug 04, 2009 9:42 pm
Location: glasgow

Re: what women go through

Postby motherelephant » Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:38 pm

Maybe having an underactive thyroid does have its advantages after all.(im almost hairless) :oops:
Like sunshine in the morning, may this brighten up your day and show you that you're thought of in a warm and loving way.
motherelephant
UKFM Regular
 
Posts: 1045
Joined: Sat Feb 07, 2009 9:59 pm
Location: sheffield

Re: what women go through

Postby deborah123 » Fri Oct 02, 2009 11:32 pm

oh my goodness that was so funny.lol
deborah123
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 219
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 2:58 pm
Location: northern ireland

Re: what women go through

Postby FluppyPuffy » Fri Oct 02, 2009 11:45 pm

:lol: :lol: PMSL ROFL :P :P


If your dog doesn't like someone, then you probably shouldn't either
User avatar
FluppyPuffy
SITE ADMIN
 
Posts: 12719
Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:25 am
Location: Living Life On The Edge.......Of The Norty Step!!!


Return to Positive and Fun

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests