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The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - Please help



Please help

Any tips on what helps you including alternative medicine.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

Please help

Postby GeminiGirl » Tue Oct 13, 2009 12:05 pm

Please can some body help me as I think I'm going crazy + I don't know what to do. I work full time and was pretty good at my job - well I always did well in appraisals so I can't have fooled that many ppl for that long. Most of the time I enjoyed my job, I'm not going to say I loved it all the time cause I doubt there are many ppl who do but the majority of time I liked it. Things haven't been great over the last 6 mths, they are restructuring our department and some people have been let go. I've had to re-apply for my job and will know by the end of November if I've been successful. Over the last 3 months my health hasn't been great - I had 2 wisdom teeth extracted after which I got 3 infections one of which landed me in hospital for 24 hours. And my fibromyalgia hasn't been great either - in a way it feels like I've been in a flare with a few ok days then a few bad days for months.

Normally I'm quite an upbeat person + I try to see the glass half full and think about the ppl who are worse than me but for the last month I can't seem to pull myself out of the negative mood that has engulfed me. I feel fed up most of the time + have lost interest in my appearance, socialising + even just contacting my friends by phone - the friends I have left I should say, it seems that some of my friends got sick of me pulling out of things + not being able to get involved in things that they've had enough, while others caused me so much stress + upset which resulted in physical pain that I had to detach myself from them.
Also I get paranoid about ppl not liking me and talking about me which doesn't help things.

I'm pretty good at hiding how fed up I've been ppl but unfortunately my boyfriend gets the brunt of it and is the one who sees the most of the tears and the bad mood. I feel for him as his answer to everything is a hug - sometimes I think the hug is more for him than me.

I've never been fed up and yes I admit it depressed like this before and I don't know how to pull myself out of it. I know some of you will suggest going to the doctor for antidepressants but my mum was on antidepressants before and it was a scary time for all of us as she took an overdose of them.

Over the last few weeks I've lost interest in my job but I know a few ppl in the department feel like this with the restructure. The problem now is that I am having trouble doing my job. Things I would have known and done a few months ago without any trouble I can't do any more - it's not just that I am having a bad day or few days - I cannot actually do my job. I work as an auditor which requires me asking lots of questions + forming an opinion but on the audit I am doing at the moment I just can't do it. I've tried to hide it from my manager but he reviewed some of my work today and was not happy with it. I don't know what to as I feel like my brain just won't work. I've had fibro fog but this feels like a fibro tsunami that has washed my brain away. I really don't know what to do, I'm feel like I'm physically and emotionally drained and now there's this - if anyone had any advise please help as I don't know where to go from here
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Re: Please help

Postby dollydaydream » Tue Oct 13, 2009 3:07 pm

Hi

First of all take a big deep breath - you are not alone and this is not unusual, when I read your post it was like a re-wind of my experiences.

Personally it sounds like the stress you are under has caused a massive flare. Where I work, we have access to occy health and H&S staff, do you work in a large org or a small one?? Also - have you joined a union? It was the best thing I ever did! Never thought I would need them.....now I have ben off for 6months I have revised my opinion!

Have you made your emoyer's aware of your situation? I appreciate your job is in jepardy, but it they don't know that you are struggling, or why you are struggling, they cannot make allowances.

If you don't feel able to do this I would toddle down to the doctors and get yourself signed off with Fibromyalgia and also make sure the sick note says 'Work related stress', simply 'stress' is not good enough. Your employers will find it difficult to get rid of you whilst you are off sick. I know this seems terribly manipulative and scheming - but needs must hunnie and you simply cannot keep going as you are.

I'm sure someone will be along in a mo to offer some more practical advice, but I have given you my humble opinion.

Please slow down and take a breath. Get up, go make yourself a drink and give yourself some breathing room when you feel overwhelmed.

Sending positive thoughts your way


Love Sarah xxx
Sending you love and light

Sarah xxx
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Re: Please help

Postby shazq » Tue Oct 13, 2009 4:31 pm

Really sorry to hear you are under lots of stress at mo.
As you know stress can trigger a flare so you will be going around in circles.
I agree with dollydaydream get yourself to your GP and get signed off, taking time out will do you good.
Your works can not hold it against you being off sick, have you explained you have fibro?

You could print them off some info from the forum, just show it to them, hopefully they will then understand how you are feeling.
I would ask your GP for a low dose of anti deps i know you dont like the idea about taking them but they will help, you can always stop them when you are feeling better.
Hope you feel better soon. :hugs:
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
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Re: Please help

Postby BoveySusie » Tue Oct 13, 2009 5:17 pm

Hi

I also totally agree with Sarah & Shaz - also that it could have been me 3 years ago when I was working full time. It really sounds as though you have reached your limit and should get signed off or you are going to be so much worse. It will really take some courage to go to the doctor but you will feel so much relief afterwards - it sounds as though you must just get out of the work place for a while - you should start to feel better just having some time to address the fibro issues.

And don't feel guilty! I did which was stupid - I hardly ever had any time off sick... I'm so sorry that your workplace is causing anxiety - this seems to be the current trend - but as you are coping with fibro, is it feasible to reduce your hours at all?

Please take all this help from everyone on board - you have to think about yourself cos your company surely won't!

Take care - Sue x :hugs:
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Re: Please help

Postby hamstergirl » Tue Oct 13, 2009 5:48 pm

Hi Geminigirl

Really just repeating what others have said. You really do need some time away from work to try and give yourself some rest. Going to gp for a sick note seems a really good idea.

I was in the same situation as you about 16 years ago when i was 24. I came home and took my anger out on my husband. It wasnt his fault i was in so much pain but he took the brunt of my anger. We were newly married and thought we would be divorced before out 1st anniversary.

We then decided that it wasnt worth it and that i would give up work. That was a really tough decision but the right one for me. We did struggle a bit financially especially when children came along but i became an happier person and came out of my low moods not having to worry about work colleagues etc.

I know work as a dinner lady 1 hour a day which i love, its not alot of money each week but its a job i'm comfortable with doing.

You cant rush into any decisions at the moment but taking time away from this pressure will help. I think we've all been in this situation, coming to terms with our condition, getting use to what we can and cant do, not what we want to do or could do.

Try and rest and make sure you make that appointment at docs.

Take care
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Re: Please help

Postby gillshutt » Wed Oct 14, 2009 8:14 am

What they said.. can't really add anything but am thinking of you ((xx))
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Re: Please help

Postby shrimp » Tue Oct 20, 2009 2:18 pm

hi there

its a week since your post - are you feeling a bit better?...did you get signed off by the doctor ?

i can totally understand most of your comments - when i worked i did insurance accounts for a huge insurance company and the work was very stress related especially dealing with figures in the millions all day long - made my mind so fuzzy - thats before i had fibro but i have severe endometriosis which i had to live my life around and had loads of time off sick from work and lots of friends dropped away leaving me feeling like i wasnt worth knowing cos i had something wrong with me that no one understand - i had dark days of despair, i then had ivf and have twin boys who are just over 2 1/2 years old now - and fibro kicked in after they were born....i felt very isolated as being a mum is great but its a real lonely job, the fibro puts enourmous pressure on your relationship (as does the endo thing i have) and i also tend to hide my feelings away from everyone until i just burst and it all floods out.......talk to your work people, talk to your partner, talk to the dog/cat/rat/mouse if that helps - just to get it out in the open........
as for the anti depressant drugs - try them in low dose, i understand where your coming from what with your mum and those drugs but your different, so you may be ok on them and they may make you feel normal ish again.......
pm me if you want
take care
shrimp xxx :tongueout:
I like to make people laugh xxx
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Re: Please help

Postby GeminiGirl » Sat Oct 24, 2009 2:25 pm

Thank you all so much for your posts - they really helped and made me feel that I wasnt alone or going crazy.

At the end of last week, i dont know why but i started to feel better and I made myself do things with my housemate. It made me feel a lot better to be out and about and each day since I have been feeling better.

I did go to the doctor and she offered to give me anti-depressants but I'm not ready to go down that path yet. She also gave me numbers for therapists in my area that specialise in CBT and hopefully I'll get an appointment with one of them this week.

Since I started feeling better I've been better at my job which also helps me to feel better. Tried to explain to my manager yesterday what was wrong with me but he definitely didnt get it. Oh well at least I tried.

Thank you all again, i dont know what I would ahve done with out your kind and supportive words
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