feeling lost

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feeling lost

Postby fitbit » Wed May 13, 2015 1:33 am

Hi. I am not sure where to start. I was diagnosed with FM early last year, I was sat in a rheumatologist office, who described me to a T. Every symptom and brain fog (I thought I was going around the twist). But for a few hours I felt that I had all the answers to my issues, it wasn't in my head. I then looked at the side effects for the Meds he had said to take (Endep). I couldn't cope with any more weight gain, as this effects my knees which I already have arthritis in. I just carried on with my over the counter pain meds. I was waiting for a gyny referral for what I thought was going to be a simple fix. I had surgery Oct last year an they told me they couldn't do anything for my pains and that I had something called Interstitial Cystitis! They also said that Endep worked really well for this pain, along with other meds that make the bladder stop stressing, so I tried it. I was asleep by 8-9pm at night and was so vague the next morning at least until mid day, they if I drove I could quite easily fall asleep. I work full time and this was effecting my work. (I had already been called into my managers office for using all my sick leave by taking an extra day after a couple of days off). This was causing me to get stressed, but I couldn't take any time off. My doctor suggested I ask my work to reduce my hours. This they have agreed to so I now work 4 days a week, but this they will only agree to for 6 months. We have not mentioned the FM, as it is not looked at very supportively in Australia. I find myself testing myself and not really believing that I have FM, however I suffer from fatigue and come home some days and just cant move, or straight after getting up I have to lay back down. I have been on Lyrica an Celebrex and have put on weight and still have brain fog, (really struggling at work) which is made worse with the meds.

So this week I have stopped the meds! and taken the week off work. Yesterday was a weird day to say the least, crying and feeling very vulnerable. Today I woke up and was feeling very nervous and anxious, my feet, legs, fingers and back are very tight and painful. I have put the heating on which seems to have helped a bit. I have booked in for acupuncture on Friday so I am hoping this will help. I have to be at work next week at 7am which will be difficult otherwise. 

Ok, that's my life for the past year and a half. I am feeling very lost and don't know what to do? Do I have FM I think I struggle to believe it is real myself, I told one person at me work about the initial diagnosis and she said "my mother in law was diagnosed with that and she is just a lazy cow!" I feel like know one believes me, I have even changed my GP as I don't think he believes it either, he gave the initial Endep, as well as a diet pill, which meant I couldn't sleep at all to try and counteract the weight gain. I had tp stop both of these. I have put on 10kg in the past 6 months. That's another reason for no more meds.

Any advice would be much appreciated I'm feeling hopeless at the moment. I have tried to get a referral to a pain clinic, nut they are private only here (very expensive) and cannot afford that. I'll stop moaning now :) I know there are lots of people worse than me and I am not dying or anything.
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