My Story
By Jade Bald
I’ve been struggling with FMS for going into eight years now. I self diagnosed, after realising that doctors are really bad at helping people who come from the chronic illness community.
It started in 2015. The insomnia. The unexplainable fatigue, body pain, headaches, IBS-C.
It was only a few years after graduating uni when all I wanted to do was travel and work, like any other twenty something. I envied my friends who posted on socials, angry at my body for not letting me be wild and free.
I couldn’t work, relying on my mother financially (which I still just do the age of 32, which is not ideal and makes me indignant). I’m a writer by trade, having tried multiple times to write a novel but each time it’s hard to finish. I plan on trying one last time this year.
2019 Rolled along. I discovered I have sensory processing sensitivity (SPS). Or in layman terms, I’m a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).
* Twenty five percent of the population has this innate trait. Both men and women have it. It’s NOT a mental illness or neurological “disorder”.
* HSP’s feel everything more intensely. Feelings, bodily sensations, our moods, other’s moods, the environments were in. Pain, whether physical or emotional, is felt more as well. Medical procedures are perceived as more stressful and medication should be prescribed at a lower dose, as the medication has more of an effect.
We’re like sponges who need to learn about boundaries as soon as possible, but many HSPs don’t learn about them until later in life. Boundaries help us avoid narcissists, emotional vampires, and other soul sucking individuals who don’t appreciate us.
* We value art, nature, animals, spirituality, harmony within society.
* It was brought about in the 90s by a psychologist named Dr. Elaine Aron.
* It was considered a bad trait by MDs and psychologists as many HSPs fell victim to “bad” behaviours like addiction, suicide, anxiety issues and chronic illness.
However the negative “symptoms” only show up when these individuals have neglectful & abusive upbringings.
* Having the trait makes you have a hair trigger nervous system that is easily ramped up with any stress, be it physical or emotional (and it takes more time to get back to baseline compared to others).
* friendships and romantic partnerships can be difficult sometimes. HSPs want deep relationships that are reciprocal but most people don’t have the capacity to meet this need, which leaves HSPs sometimes lonely. Not to mention, we prefer deep/taboo topics which might put off some people.
* Romantic involvement occurs later in life compared to peers (and it requires more time and effort, esp. if only one person in relationship is an hsp).
Moreover, non HS -men may be turned off by an hsp woman’s intelligence, intensity, and independent nature.
My Stressful Early Life
My mother and father divorced when I was two and in karmic fashion, he died of a heart attack the next year.
Then my mother upsticks and moved me all over when she went back to school full time for law and then when she sought out work.
It was a blur of schools, houses, neighbourhoods. I never felt safe. I never had my own room to find refuge in. It was confusing too . Within eighteen, twenty months we were packing up and gone. Friendships never stuck. I got used to being on my own.
This made me a prime target for bullies. It kept up through high school too. I took mostly remote courses through uni because of my sensitivity (being on campus a few hours and I was tired). And I couldn’t connect with people because of my history and trait.
More physiological info and how it relates to pain
* Your cortisol levels are also much higher than an average persons which makes you more susceptible to chronic inflammation and stress induced illness.
* sleep can be harder. Our brains are more active and not necessarily from anxiety (although it can be the cause in
some cases).
* We’re high on the perfectionism scale. This can make life more stressful if we let it run our lives.
* We’re also detail oriented, noticing more things than others. We’re wanting to cover all basis and know all outcomes, which, if left to a point of overwhelm, can be exhausting.
In Conclusion
Now there’s more interest and popularity within the mainstream media with blogs, podcasts, groups and YouTube channels dedicated to education and support of the trait.
I myself have written for many blogs, five or so I covered this trait and it’s link to a higher likelihood of chronic health issues. Here’s my website: jadebaldwriter.Weebly.com. Pinterest tag is @chroniclivingauthor.