New Year, New You – or is it?
By Sarah Wall
Twitter - @me_illness
Facebook - Me, Myself and Chronic Illness Blog
Happy New Year Everyone! Hello UK Fibromyalgia readers, can you believe it is the year 2022! I hope everybody had an enjoyable festive period whatever you chose to do. Was it me, or did 2021 seem to flash by in an instant? Either way here we are at the start of another new year and no doubt the endless highs and lows.
Many of us enjoy the notion of a new year – that symbolism of a new beginning, turning to a fresh page, the start of a new chapter in our lives. For a lot of people this is very true as they use the change of the last digit in the year to motivate themselves to do the things that maybe they have been putting off for so long. Diets are started, gym memberships soar, career changes are debated and resolutions are set, and of course in some cases a few weeks later - broken.
I am sure if you haven’t already, you soon will, see adverts everywhere about taking advantage of the New Year and telling you how you should achieve some of the goals above. That’s all very well, and I am sure some of those ideas are extremely helpful, but how helpful are they to a chronically ill person? How easy is it to stick to goals when you have Fibromyalgia or any other chronic illness?
Last year I wrote an article on my blog about the pressures of goal setting when you live with a chronic illness, and how actually it can be rather difficult to stick to rigid commitments you have placed upon yourself in order to achieve your goal. Chronic illnesses doesn’t always allow for that monthly social event, or that Thursday night swimming session, no matter how much you want it to or how much you have planned for it. This therefore can lead to feelings of disappointment and anger predominantly at ourselves for not sticking to what we had agreed to. In my blog I spoke about how important it was to adjust the goal posts so to speak and add in that flexibility with goals that living with chronic illness often makes us do, and not feel guilty to do so. It is also about managing expectations and understanding that smaller goals are probably going to be the focus because change doesn’t happen overnight. On the flip of that it is also ok to say to yourself you want to continue on as you are – there are no rules saying that a new year equates to a new you.
Maybe what would suit us more is not necessarily goal setting or resolution making, rather the ability to reflect. Reflection can be a great way of reviewing the last year and deciding how we would like to move forward. To review what has helped us so far on our individual health journeys and reassess what to keep and what to change, what works and what doesn’t, not just physically with symptoms but mentally too. This can hopefully help us to focus on the positives as well as the negatives and embrace the things that are going well and not just the things we want to change.
On a personal level, I am going to take some time out to reflect on what I want going forward. I am extremely hesitant to make specific goals this year in relation to anything health related and instead am choosing to reflect and change things on a ‘my terms’ basis – if and when I am ready. Last year was an array of revelations with my health alongside new diagnoses. Strangely enough I think I began to understand my body and its limitations more in the last year or so than I have in the whole eight years I have been unwell. Symptom wise there are things that worked and things that haven’t which I will adapt accordingly. On a mental level last year was very up and down, writing has been a great outlet, but equally it has introduced many challenges. Challenges I now need to reflect on in order to decide how to move forward. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it just means I am practising what I preach and putting myself first for a change.
Goals or no goals, reflections or no reflections, just make the year 2022 the year you care about yourself more. The year you up your self-worth, and realise what you are capable of. Most importantly do what makes you happy.