Wake Up With This Pain Again

By Gary J. Sheil

A sufferer of ankylosing spondylitis for over 17 years

Wake up with this pain again, again, again.

It's always the bloody same.

Another two hours before I can regain,

The ability to move without pain.

A look out the window.... Great the bloody rain.

When even the weather affects my spine.

After 17 year it's like I'm doing time.

Having this body my only crime.

Feels like my body is my enemy and I'm....

I'm tried, tired of being like this when no-one can relate.

But if I was bleeding they would say "my god you look a state" .

Tired of painkillers never doing their job.

They are more like girl scouts then hitmen from the mob.

Do you want to hear some irony?

The pain you see,

Is sent from me to me,

And even though I see it's futility,

I cannot stop it, I must just be.

These waves of pain, like waves on sea,

Are like a crazy Odyssey!

It's odd you see,

That the very thing I am fighting is just ME!

BUT NOW WAIT

Before you get negative ideas hesitate.

Because there are many of us that actually do relate.

And you can master the pain it's never to late!

Once it had some power.

When even the taste of life grew sour.

So I made a final hour.

And from even this I did not cower.

BUT.

Turns out when you fight to live you are hard to kill.

And soon you learn to control your will.

And yes it's gone nowhere I feel it still.

But to become it's master is such a gracious thrill.

So.....

Don't worry you'll get used to it.

You'll get crazy bloody strong.

And when you think you can’t go on.

You'll go on and on and on.

And though it hurts to walk,

You'll soon run a mile.

And though you feel the pain.

You'll still crack a smile.

Not everyone will understand of course this is true.

But it will become a part of the Beauty that is you!